I am so mad at myself at how far I have fallen in just 2 weeks.
The fact that I haven't written since last Monday and when I opened my spreadsheet to log my weight this morning, I realized I hadn't logged it since last Monday, despite getting on the scale every morning. But when the scale is saying horrible things, that is what happened. That is how I gained 50 lb in 18 months.
Last week was just wild and out of control. With it being vacation week, everyone's schedule was off. Menu planning went out the door. And Friday night was topped off with a Chinese food dinner. I am SO mad at myself for not going to WW on Saturday - there really wasn't a reason not to go - yes, I would see a HUGE gain (hello MSG). But I also didn't go to sleep until 1:30. Actually I said up late a lot last week.
For the last 10 days I have been fast-forwarding through the whole season of Felicity, which ran from 1998-2002, some of the best years of my life. I kept thinking about my life at that time - how active I was (granted, I did still gain weight during this time) and I really, really miss being active!
The over-eating continued on Saturday. I thought it was curbed yesterday until I decided to eat chocolate ice cream at 8:30 at night (and threw out the rest of the carton).
The one good thing I did get accomplished yesterday was to set up my home gym - a corner of our unfinished basement, that has a treadmill, stationary bike and a bunch of free weights. The main thing it is missing is additional electricity - I don't want to overload our breaker, but I would love to be able to plug in our old 18" tv and attach a VCR (yes, we still own one!) and DVD player for additional work outs. Now I just need to get started! That is the hard part.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
I am dragging.....
Knowing that I could sleep in a little because for the first time at the new house, I didn't have to drive anyone to school! (I left at my normal time, 7:40 and got to work at 8:00) I went to sleep way, way, way too late.
This weekend was a big 'ugh' in the stomach.
I had a normal breakfast and lunch before dropping off the kids and going to a movie - I had a medium popcorn, 1/2 of which spilled on the floor when I was trying to get situated in my seat, a medium rootbeer (that was almost all ice) and Raisinets.
Since we weren't meeting up for the birthday party until 7:15 (and we got there at 7:45) and the invite made it sound iffy if we were actually going to sit at a table at the brewery and eat, I had a large, large snack of almonds and beef jerky.
At the restaurant, I had 1 1/2 beers, a few appetizer (there weren't enough!) and I ordered a burger and sweet potato fries. The fries were delish, but the burger was just too thick and dense so I barely ate any of the meat, but had the bun and veggies. Dessert was homemade oreos (ie chocolate cookies with frosting between them). Yummy.
I had such a bellly ache when I went to bed. I just felt so bloated.
Sunday I woke up at 8:30 - no kids! And literally sat in front of the tv until 4:30 when the kids got home. It was glorious! And wasteful. I didn't each much out of the ordinary. I passed on ice cream for dessert! I drank a ton of water, but still felt so bloated and gross when I went to bed.
Since I didn't leave the house yesterday I didn't go grocery shopping, so I didn't have any coke for lunch today. That is okay, I am trying to not have it anyways, but I think i may have to go downstairs and get some for lunch because I am so incredibly tired it isn't even funny! It is only 11:40 and I feel like it should be 2:00 pm - not good for a Monday.
This weekend was a big 'ugh' in the stomach.
I had a normal breakfast and lunch before dropping off the kids and going to a movie - I had a medium popcorn, 1/2 of which spilled on the floor when I was trying to get situated in my seat, a medium rootbeer (that was almost all ice) and Raisinets.
Since we weren't meeting up for the birthday party until 7:15 (and we got there at 7:45) and the invite made it sound iffy if we were actually going to sit at a table at the brewery and eat, I had a large, large snack of almonds and beef jerky.
At the restaurant, I had 1 1/2 beers, a few appetizer (there weren't enough!) and I ordered a burger and sweet potato fries. The fries were delish, but the burger was just too thick and dense so I barely ate any of the meat, but had the bun and veggies. Dessert was homemade oreos (ie chocolate cookies with frosting between them). Yummy.
I had such a bellly ache when I went to bed. I just felt so bloated.
Sunday I woke up at 8:30 - no kids! And literally sat in front of the tv until 4:30 when the kids got home. It was glorious! And wasteful. I didn't each much out of the ordinary. I passed on ice cream for dessert! I drank a ton of water, but still felt so bloated and gross when I went to bed.
Since I didn't leave the house yesterday I didn't go grocery shopping, so I didn't have any coke for lunch today. That is okay, I am trying to not have it anyways, but I think i may have to go downstairs and get some for lunch because I am so incredibly tired it isn't even funny! It is only 11:40 and I feel like it should be 2:00 pm - not good for a Monday.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Weekly Weigh-in #12
Starting Weight (12/1/2012): 232.2
Last Week: 222.8
Current Weight: 226.2
Change Since Last Week: +3.4
Total Change: -6.0
Height: 5'6"
Goal: 149
Yes, I am completely bummed out, but my behavior the last few days warranted a gain. So on to a new week.
No predictions, no nothing, except to say I HOPE that I can not blow the whole week knowing that today I am going to a movie and out to dinner, and Thursday I am going out to lunch. But that is a whole lot more meals that I can succeed with.
I am also contemplating not buying my 8 oz cokes this week! I will only be at work 3 days this week, so I may risk it and see how it goes! Yikes!
I will say I am pretty proud of myself for getting to the meeting this morning. I didn't go to bed until 12:30 so I didn't even get 6 hours of sleep. I woke up with a headache and snow coating the ground - so easily could have turned over and went back to sleep. But I didn't! I really do love my meeting.
Last Week: 222.8
Current Weight: 226.2
Change Since Last Week: +3.4
Total Change: -6.0
Height: 5'6"
Goal: 149
Yes, I am completely bummed out, but my behavior the last few days warranted a gain. So on to a new week.
No predictions, no nothing, except to say I HOPE that I can not blow the whole week knowing that today I am going to a movie and out to dinner, and Thursday I am going out to lunch. But that is a whole lot more meals that I can succeed with.
I am also contemplating not buying my 8 oz cokes this week! I will only be at work 3 days this week, so I may risk it and see how it goes! Yikes!
I will say I am pretty proud of myself for getting to the meeting this morning. I didn't go to bed until 12:30 so I didn't even get 6 hours of sleep. I woke up with a headache and snow coating the ground - so easily could have turned over and went back to sleep. But I didn't! I really do love my meeting.
Friday, February 15, 2013
No more predictions....
I am no longer going to say that I think I am going to have a great week, or think about 10 lb stickers or 5% bookmarks, because this week I will end up with a substantial gain.
Up until a couple of days ago I thought it was dehydration, I thought my body would snap back down. But it didn't, then Valentine's Day came up with lots of baking which ended up at lots of nibbling and then the topper was last night when I had a pint of Haagen Daaz Coffee Ice Cream. Happy Valentine's Day to me! I can't remember the last time I ate a pint of ice cream. I will say it tasted really, really good! I bought it when I went grocery shopping with the kids after work, so I was hungry. And I sat down to watch my ABC shows with the pint - about 5 times I said I should get up and put it away and finally I said screw it!
Now I just have to get the thoughts out of my head of not going to my meeting tomorrow because I know it will be a gain and the next week is going to be very non-routine due to vacation. But I WILL go to my meeting! I will NOT let the whole week get away from me.
Up until a couple of days ago I thought it was dehydration, I thought my body would snap back down. But it didn't, then Valentine's Day came up with lots of baking which ended up at lots of nibbling and then the topper was last night when I had a pint of Haagen Daaz Coffee Ice Cream. Happy Valentine's Day to me! I can't remember the last time I ate a pint of ice cream. I will say it tasted really, really good! I bought it when I went grocery shopping with the kids after work, so I was hungry. And I sat down to watch my ABC shows with the pint - about 5 times I said I should get up and put it away and finally I said screw it!
Now I just have to get the thoughts out of my head of not going to my meeting tomorrow because I know it will be a gain and the next week is going to be very non-routine due to vacation. But I WILL go to my meeting! I will NOT let the whole week get away from me.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Week not looking bright....
I found myself yelling, a lot, at the kids this morning. If I had not known bette, I would have thought PMS, but I just finished TOM, so that isn't it. Then I thought about and I really think it was because I am discouraged by the scale this week. As of this morning I am up 2.4 lb from Saturday without any signs of it going down before Saturday. I don't want to show a gain after 2 weeks!
Granted the last couple nights haven't been stellar. Monday night I found myself having several handfuls of dark chocolate bits after dinner. Last night it was nibbling on scrapes of sugar cookie dough at 8:00 at night.
I got to work this morning with my normal food bag and remembered we had a lunch meeting, so I drank my 8 oz lunch coke at 8:30 am, along with my late morning snack AND my normal breakfast! And the lunch meeting consisted of a 12 oz coke, 3 pieces of pizza, and 2 servings of salad (with feta and creamy dressing).
I need to wrangle in this out of controlness - yes I know i have a birthday party to go to on Saturday night (and if my parents take the kids early enough, I would like to go to a movie), and next week is school vacation so I am taking a couple of days off and the whole week will be thrown off. But I can't let all of this non-routineness completely derail me.
Granted the last couple nights haven't been stellar. Monday night I found myself having several handfuls of dark chocolate bits after dinner. Last night it was nibbling on scrapes of sugar cookie dough at 8:00 at night.
I got to work this morning with my normal food bag and remembered we had a lunch meeting, so I drank my 8 oz lunch coke at 8:30 am, along with my late morning snack AND my normal breakfast! And the lunch meeting consisted of a 12 oz coke, 3 pieces of pizza, and 2 servings of salad (with feta and creamy dressing).
I need to wrangle in this out of controlness - yes I know i have a birthday party to go to on Saturday night (and if my parents take the kids early enough, I would like to go to a movie), and next week is school vacation so I am taking a couple of days off and the whole week will be thrown off. But I can't let all of this non-routineness completely derail me.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Pooped!
I am back at work, though my husband is home with my daughter because she didn't have school. The roads are still really bad and freezing rain is in the forecast, so they cancelled a lot of schools around us.
Sunday was a long, long day!
Our driveway still hadn't been plowed and I was feeling cabin fever, so decided to clean, clean, clean. Almost at the end the plow finally came. He had left before we realized he had left a 6 foot section in front of our garage - we figured it was because there was no where else to put the snow. So after all that cleaning, me and my husband (with some help from my 6 year old) had to spend 2+ hours shoveling in order to even get out of the garage.
But the burn of my arms feels great - reminds me how much I miss weight training!
Eating wasn't stellar. Weight was way up this morning - not sure if was due to dehydration or the salty dinner I had last night. I did some grazing and I think I had an extra meal in there somewhere to give me energy to shovel.
I am feeling very disorganized for the week going into it without a full fridge (and not sure if the stores will even have anything), with a meal plan, and without having bought/made the kid's Valentines for schools, nor bought anything for them or my husband from me for the day.
But even with the disorganization I will try to make it a good week!
Sunday was a long, long day!
Our driveway still hadn't been plowed and I was feeling cabin fever, so decided to clean, clean, clean. Almost at the end the plow finally came. He had left before we realized he had left a 6 foot section in front of our garage - we figured it was because there was no where else to put the snow. So after all that cleaning, me and my husband (with some help from my 6 year old) had to spend 2+ hours shoveling in order to even get out of the garage.
But the burn of my arms feels great - reminds me how much I miss weight training!
Eating wasn't stellar. Weight was way up this morning - not sure if was due to dehydration or the salty dinner I had last night. I did some grazing and I think I had an extra meal in there somewhere to give me energy to shovel.
I am feeling very disorganized for the week going into it without a full fridge (and not sure if the stores will even have anything), with a meal plan, and without having bought/made the kid's Valentines for schools, nor bought anything for them or my husband from me for the day.
But even with the disorganization I will try to make it a good week!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
The things I miss!
Way back when I used to be an outdoorsy person. I dated someone for 7 years and one of the factors that lead to our breakup was me wanted to get outdoors more and he wanted to stay inside and play with his computer.
After we broke up I rode my mountain bike and street bike a lot and went rollerblading. Typical "inner city" 20-something outdoor activities.
I had dreamed about rock climbing a lot. I joined the Rock Gym (indoors) and eventually took an outdoors class where I met my next serious boyfriend of 2 years. While I did gain a lot of weight 25 lbs (went from 132 to 157 - mainly due to an insane commute when I moved in with him), we did a ton outdoors - camping, rock climbing, kayaking, hiking, winter hiking, ice climbing, and snow shoeing. Though the outdoorsy part actually was part of why we broke up - With my insane commute, I wasn't able to get anything done during the week, but he was okay with being away a lot on the weekends, either overnight or just out all day doing stuff outdoors. I needed more downtime.
After we broke up I kept up the outdoors stuff to a degree. In 2002 I trained to climb Mt Rainier - I hiked every single Saturday from March until the trip in August. I gained 17 lbs (from 150 - 167) because the rest of the time I was working insane hours and "carbo-loading" (way too much!) I missed rock climbing, but I didn't have anyone to go with. But by the time the trip was over, I was so burnt out from hiking that I never went back to it. I gained 5 more pounds so I was 172 when I started dating my husband in the fall of 2002, and I went a 180 in being outside.
But I miss it so much! Today I went snowshoeing for the first time in 11 years!
I also miss:
Rock climbing
Hiking
Winter hiking
Cross Country Skiing
Snowboarding/Skiing
Kayaking
Swimming
When I started C25K in September 2011, that was the first time I had done something that exerted so much energy so fast. Sure hiking works your lungs and is a fantastic workout, but you aren't exerting yourself in the same way as running.
I think I prefer hiking :) Though I like running because you don't have to spend a lot of time doing it and thus leaves a lot of time for other things.
One thing I was reminded yesterday that I don't like is Yoga. I know it is good for you and a good addition to cardio and weight training, but to be in work out clothes and moving so slowly is so boring to me! Too much time for me to be thinking about all the other stuff I want/need to be doing!
After we broke up I rode my mountain bike and street bike a lot and went rollerblading. Typical "inner city" 20-something outdoor activities.
I had dreamed about rock climbing a lot. I joined the Rock Gym (indoors) and eventually took an outdoors class where I met my next serious boyfriend of 2 years. While I did gain a lot of weight 25 lbs (went from 132 to 157 - mainly due to an insane commute when I moved in with him), we did a ton outdoors - camping, rock climbing, kayaking, hiking, winter hiking, ice climbing, and snow shoeing. Though the outdoorsy part actually was part of why we broke up - With my insane commute, I wasn't able to get anything done during the week, but he was okay with being away a lot on the weekends, either overnight or just out all day doing stuff outdoors. I needed more downtime.
After we broke up I kept up the outdoors stuff to a degree. In 2002 I trained to climb Mt Rainier - I hiked every single Saturday from March until the trip in August. I gained 17 lbs (from 150 - 167) because the rest of the time I was working insane hours and "carbo-loading" (way too much!) I missed rock climbing, but I didn't have anyone to go with. But by the time the trip was over, I was so burnt out from hiking that I never went back to it. I gained 5 more pounds so I was 172 when I started dating my husband in the fall of 2002, and I went a 180 in being outside.
But I miss it so much! Today I went snowshoeing for the first time in 11 years!
I also miss:
Rock climbing
Hiking
Winter hiking
Cross Country Skiing
Snowboarding/Skiing
Kayaking
Swimming
When I started C25K in September 2011, that was the first time I had done something that exerted so much energy so fast. Sure hiking works your lungs and is a fantastic workout, but you aren't exerting yourself in the same way as running.
I think I prefer hiking :) Though I like running because you don't have to spend a lot of time doing it and thus leaves a lot of time for other things.
One thing I was reminded yesterday that I don't like is Yoga. I know it is good for you and a good addition to cardio and weight training, but to be in work out clothes and moving so slowly is so boring to me! Too much time for me to be thinking about all the other stuff I want/need to be doing!
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