The week so far

Well I am sitting here in my kitchen instead of on my way to New York because it is cold and icy out there and not conducive to driving. My kids have a 2 hour delay (it snowed a little, but also rained and then froze) and there are school delays all the way from here to NYC so even trying to drive there once my kids got off to school (10:30), traffic would be a nightmare because all the parents would be on the road after their kids went to school!

While I am disappointed to not be going, it is 2 more days I can have 100% control over my environment, so that isn't a bad thing!

Monday I got in my 3 walks at work, at all the normal foods and headed home at 1:30. Snack was a small amount of Nutella, flaxseed tortilla, and a banana. I got in a 30 minute walk on the treadmill after work and dinner was leftover chicken and pasta from the night before. Goal accomplished to eat on Monday like it was a Friday.

It paid off because the scale was 227 on Tuesday. But I also woke up to my monthly visitor. Lovely. Since I had an appointment with the nutritionist at 1:00, I was neurotic and didn't have my late morning snack or lunch.

My appointment was wonderful! I was down 6.5 lbs! And I showed her everything I had been doing since our last visit in mid-December and she was so thrilled. Unfortunately that was my last appointment with her because she is retiring. But she did make an appointment with another nutritionist in mid-March. I'll have 1 appointment with her and see how it goes.

I had leftover Thai chicken as a late lunch. For dinner I made my 3rd recipe of the week - an Asian noodle and ground beef/pork dish. I made it very hot. Woops! I drank a ton of water. It was salty so I was completely floored when the scale said 226 this morning. The same weight I was the morning of my colonoscopy. I just need to keep it up. I need to blow out of these "upper 220s" and get below 225.

Now to just get through the next 2 days and we are on to February!!!!

Weekend Recap

Yet again it was a nice weekend with very little commitments. Though the scale took a little bit of a beating :( But I am working hard this Monday to reverse that (though monthly could be arriving this week which doesn't help).

Saturday I had a flaxseed waffle with naked PB and jelly before getting on the treadmill for Week 5 Day 3 of C25K. The 20 minute run! Even though I hadn't run on Thursday due to potential shin splints, I still wanted to do the 20 minute run. I walked for 5 minutes and then turned off the treadmill and turned it back on so I could easily see how long I had run (the mental games we play!). I started out at 4.7 mph (12:45 min mile) but then went to 4.8 (12:30, my happy spot on the treadmill). It was mentally tough but I got through it! And then I walked for 10 minutes.

So I am not going to be following the C25K program anymore. Next week I will run for 23 minutes, then 25, then 28 and finally 30 at the end of February. But I am not sure how many times I will run per week. Maybe I will try with 2 (Tuesdays and Saturdays) and see how that goes.

After my run I had a spiralized sweet potato cooked in peanut oil with some cinnamon, 2 hardboiled eggs and blueberries. It was okay.

I had quite a few snacks from there on out. I had my normal 2 string cheeses and peaches snack at 11:45. Then my son wanted to try our new popcorn bowl that you can air-pop popcorn in the microwave. Of course we add butter to it! But I also had a banana.

At 2:00 I made some pasta and had 2 bowls :( and then immediately had my snack of 2 sugar-free fudgicles with Skippy PB.

We had a 3:30 appointment with an Escape Room. It was fun, even though we didn't complete it on time. Honestly, I think the kids were too young so essentially me and my husband were doing 99% of the work and there is too much work for 2 people to do in an hour. You could ask for hint and this one they don't penalize you with time. But because it was so busy we weren't able to continue beyond the 60 minutes. The guy did quickly explain some stuff that we didn't get. I had done an Escape Room a few years ago with a bunch of co-workers and client people and that was fantastic. The 3 rooms were decorated very well, the lighting was great, and there was a large variety of types of puzzles to solve. This one was lit with florescent lighting and so many of the puzzles involved locks (ones with 4-5 combinations either numbers or letters) so those really slowed us down. I would try this one again though (they have 4-5 different rooms) if we had more adults.

Afterwards my husband insisted on going out to dinner. Applebee's was right next door and we hadn't been there for years and they still have the best Pretzel appetizers we've encountered. I had:
* Some queso and chips - not worth it so I didn't have a ton
* 1 pretzel with cheese dip - could have had 2 but refrained
* 1 mozzarella stick
* My "meal" was a wonton taco appetizer - very yummy
*I drank water even though the kids had an ice cream shake and my husband had a soda

My stomach ached after that. I felt so bloated. And it's not like I had a ton of food. Just greasy I guess.

I walked for 10 minutes when we got home to get me to 9900 steps.

The scale was up almost 2 pounds on Sunday morning.
Sunday was a weird eating day. I woke up early (well normal, 6:30) and since I had gone to bed at 10:00 and wanted to enjoy to quiet of the house I got up. I had given my husband a puzzle - a cartoon map of Jackson Hole - for Christmas. I spent almost 4 hours working on it. At 8:30 my stomach was growing, despite me drinking water - I wanted something quick so heated 3 of my kids chocolate pancakes.

When I was finished the puzzle I walked for 20 minutes - I was only to 3400 steps. You don't walk much doing a puzzle!

I didn't eat lunch until 3:00! I had pulled out some chicken tenders to make a Thai dish Saturday night but since we went out I didn't get a chance and I didn't want the chicken to go bad, so I made the dish for lunch (I am going to post later this week about my cooking escapades this week!). I loved the dish and could have had more than 1 serving, but I refrained. Lots of leftovers this week!

After lunch I took another 20 minute walk on the treadmill.

Since me and my husband had had lunch so late and the kids had been grazing all afternoon, I didn't finish making dinner until 7. A chicken cordon bleu meal with pasta and frozen peas from the garden.

And I crawled into bed to relax at 8:00 - The best way to finish the weekend! Now if only it were Friday - It is going to be a long, long week.

And the scale was still up the 1.8 lbs today and I have my last appointment with the Nutritionist tomorrow so I am going to eat today like it were a Friday!

WW Weigh-in #4

Wow! That is all I can say!

226.4 this week - Down 3.4 from last week! I have not seen below 227 in a very long time (except the day of my colonoscopy in November - ha ha ha!)

Starting Weight (1/5/2019): 233.2
Last Week: 229.8
This Week:  226.4
Change From Last Week: -3.4
Total Change: -6.8

I got my 5 lb charm which I put on my car key chain.

Last night I sat in bed and reflected on the week and what I realized is that I didn't have too many pitfalls.
*Sure I had some brownies, sure I had some extra snacks.
*But I tracked (still just writing what I eat, not weights and measures except TRY to do that with not as healthy foods)
*I got my 10K steps in even when I felt like I shouldn't be running due to potential shin splints.
* I got to bed by 10:00 every night except Sunday
*Water was hit or miss - some days it was just 80 oz, not 100+

I am still not exactly sure where I am in my cycle. 4 weeks will be this coming Wednesday. If it comes on time, then this month really will be a miracle to have battled through that 2nd half. But if it doesn't come then there is still a chance I haven't hit that mid-point yet. Joys of getting older. I am anywhere from 23 to 42 days. Sucks.

I do have some challenges coming up this week, but I am not going to let it affect my whole week:
*As a family we are doing an Escape Room this afternoon - we should be done between 4:30 and 5:00. My husband wants to go out to eat after - my initial thought was panic. But I am going to have a small snack before we go in since 3:30 is my snack time. And I'll have a water in the car to guzzle after on the way to the restaurant.
*I am scheduled to travel Wednesday and Thursday for work so I don't think I'll be able to get my 10K steps in. I'll probably be driving between 7:00 am and noon - While I would normally just drive through, I am going to bring some snack (including breakfast) and make sure I stop a few times. I figure I can eat and walk at the same time :) I'll be in meetings in the afternoon and then at a work function in the evening. I am going to try to maintain my no-alcohol January and have some snacks to eat between the meeting and the function. Thursday I will be working until mid-afternoon and then driving home.

Challenges yes. So I will be 100% okay with maintenance this week.

TGIF!

I love, love weekends where we have very little going on. Our own plan is doing an Escape Room as a family, a present my husband got us all for Christmas. My son is starting a STEM class mid-day on Sundays so that doesn't allow us to go skiing at all this weekend, which is okay as we are still trying to pay off the credit card from Christmas :(

This week has been a little disheartening. I ran on Tuesday and while I felt like my legs were bothering me a little, on Wednesday I really felt like I had shin splints :(  I had ordered a pair of black sneakers to wear to work to give me a little more cushion during my walks - while we aren't really supposed to wear sneakers, some people do, and I figure all black sneakers aren't that bad. I was WFH on Wednesday and did take 4 walk breaks totaling 60 minutes but I was pretty busy at work so didn't get many more steps in.

Eating wasn't on the mark either on Wednesday - I was stressed about work and my stomach was grumbling even with my normal food and water. I had my normal snack at 11:50 and 30 minutes later I was have a "dessert" (my 2 sugar-free fudgicles with PB) as well as a mixtures of almonds/pumpkin seeds/dried apricots. And then finally at 12:30 I had my normal lunch. I should have just had that to begin with, but I wanted to stretch out my lunch later since I had just had snack.

My afternoon snack was larger as well - I had chicken salad in a flaxseed tortilla, but then also had more nuts/seeds/dried fruit.

I wasn't feeling like making dinner but had pulled out some chicken tenders. When I realized I was supposed to marinade the meat for a recipe I wanted to make, instead I just made homemade chicken nuggets/green beans/microwaveable bag of grains.

Thursday to scale was up almost a pounds. I made a note in my tracker to make sure I got in my water and promised myself I would stick to my snacking plan.

Once a month they bring in breakfast at work and I skipped it!

I had decided Wednesday night that I wouldn't run on Thursday. I would just get in my walks and even then I slowed them down from 3.1 to 3.0 when I was home on the treadmill.

Dinner was tacos, but I didn't make a bag of spanish rice like I normally do. And I had more of a taco salad (chicken, jalapeno baked black beans, reduced fat mexican rice, light sour cream, lettuce, a 100-calorie tub of guacamole and a few crushed tortilla chips) and I only had 1 helping. Winning!!

I'll see how my legs feel on Saturday - I would really like to get the 20 minute run in. Even if I just run once a week and continue walking and do other exercise, I keep telling myself I don't HAVE to be running right now and I definitely don't have to run 3x a week.

Here is to keeping my sanity of this Friday and keeping my calories in check as I am hoping to reach 5 lbs gone at WW tomorrow (and as I am writing this my stomach is grumbling loudly. Need to eat breakfast!!)

21 Day Habit

On Monday we reached the 21st day of the year.

In that 21 days I have:
-Weighed myself every day (for me this is a necessary evil - I've never been successful with losing weight if I don't and quite the opposite, I start to gain weight)
-Not bought my lunch and/or drank soda
-Gotten at least 10,000 steps every day
-Tracked/journaled my food - while I am not putting in weights and measures at this point, writing it all down is definitely helping


Am I giving up after 21 days? Heck no! Going for the 90 day lifestyle (not that I will stop then either!) - Bring on April Fool's Day

So far the week is going pretty well. Monday I didn't have a holiday but the rest of my family did. But I did work from home because it was 0 with a feel of -16 in the morning. For the first time this year I did drink some calories with a coffee/hot chocolate/fat free creamer combination. And I got in FOUR 20 minute walks. Yes I didn't eat my "normal" work food - I had some pasta leftovers and a small brownie at lunch time (but still ate my carrots I had prepped over the weekend) and dinner was homemade pizza. Me and the kids split a pepperoni pizza made with 1/2 the store-bought dough so there wasn't a lot of pizza per person and I made a salad.

Tuesday I left the house for the first time in 3 days! I got to the grocery store at 7:30 am because we were out of produce! I was very busy for the 4+ hours I was in the office so I barely got in any steps, but prior to my C25K session I got in another 10 minute walk so I was able to hit the 10K steps during C25K (Week 5, Day 1 - so 3 5-minute runs). Dinner was everyone for themselves - I made myself 4 oz of Barilla Plus spaghetti and had leftover salad and some grapes.

Weekend Wrap Up

I felt really good after coming back from WW. I had some peaches and 1 flaxseed waffle with Bare Almond Butter and hopped on the treadmill for W4D3 of C25K. I ended up upping the the treadmill to 4.8 (12:30 min/mile) - I am really hoping that when I can transition to outside (whenever that will be now that we have a sheet of ice outside!) I can start at 12:30. I can't remember in the past how my speed on the treadmill transitioned outside - I thought I was faster because I am a wuss on the treadmill and don't tend to run as fast as I could, but then outside you are dealing with elevation gain (even though I run at a 1.5% incline).

After my run I decided to have a not typical breakfast. I had sweet potato noodles cooked in peanut oil and cinnamon, blueberries and chicken.

Lunch I did have leftover mac and cheese, not healthy, but threw about the other 3 servings of leftovers we had.

As as post-Mall-with-my-tween, which is always a stressful event, I treated myself to a treat I hadn't had in years - I put 2 sugar free fudgicles in the microwave for 20 seconds so the melted a bit, enough so they could slide off the sticks, and added a little PB (this time I went with Skippy). It feels like ice cream.

Dinner was spaghetti with zoodles and garlic and Parmesan cheese. So yummy!

Sunday I was 228.6!! My short term goal is 227 which is the lowest I got on WW last winter.

We had 6 inches of snow and it was freezing rain and more rain to come, so I needed to shovel (while my husband snow blowed). I had peaches before going out and a chocolate milk after.

I am very superstitious and I wanted to watch the movie Fever Pitch (Jimmy Fallon about the 2004 Red Sox) and get in my 10K steps so I add a waffle with jelly and PB. I walked 4 miles at 3.0 while watching the movie. I was at 12,400 steps by the time I was done.

Lunch was leftover spaghetti and zoodles and cheese.

I had a snack of string cheese and peaches around 2:30.

I had bought a box of Kodiak brownies and made them - I did have a couple small ones.

Football food was pepper nachos with ground turkey and a 7 layer dip (and a little more brownies). I probably ate too much, but I didn't eat ANYTHING after 5:30, despite all the football stress.

I stayed up until 1:00 am and was up at 6:30. I was up to 229.6 so need to reel it in today. For the first time in over 3 weeks I drank something besides water (coffee mixed with peppermint hot cocoa with a little fat free creamer). I needed  a pick me up! But I am going to stay on plan today. It will be hard to get my 10K steps in but I've already had 2 20-minute walks on the treadmill.

I would love to have gone to the grocery store today but it is freezing (and icy) so I  am not going to venture out!

My husband was already talking Super Bowl food. I reminded him that we never feel like eating when the Patriots are in it, and since we are superstitious (and we loved the food) we are going to just make what we made yesterday. I am good with that!

WW Weigh-in #3

Ugh, my app isn’t letting me upload pictures. The website on my desktop isn’t pulling in all my posts, so a quick drive by on my phone.

229.8 on the scale this morning!!!!!!!!!! (231.4 at WW, difference of 1.6). I got on the scale multiple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

So glad I went to my meeting. I was tempted not to because the regular leader wouldn’t be there and thinking I’d be up. So glad I got out of bed and went!

I was pretty chatty during the meeting. I told everyone that my “Why” is so I can run. Yes, I want to lose weight for lots of other reasons, but right now that is my motivation. I just vaguely said I had a / year goal and after the meeting another member asked me what my goal was. She has run a marathon. We chatted for a while which was even more motivating.

On to a nice weekend. I hope to make wise choices, that is all I can ask for!

Week in review

Thank goodness this week is almost over. It has felt like the longest week. My husband has been gone on business since Sunday, something that almost never happens. And while the home week went fairly well (it was a lot easier because the kids don't have a lot of extra curriculars going on at this time of year), work was pretty stressful and being a little of the normal schedule added up to the scale being back up to 233.0 this morning. I don't have a lot of confidence in it being down a lot by tomorrow. But I WILL be going to my meeting despite the gain and despite my leader being there. I need the meetings to help me reset.

Let's start with the things that didn't go quite as well before I get to my accomplishments:
-Too much for dinner on Saturday, no organized dinner on Sunday, everyone for themselves on Monday so made salty noodles, 2 servings of spaghetti (at 7:30 pm) on Tuesday, out to Bertucci's for dinner on Wednesday - had 2 rolls when I had told myself none; daughter picked a recipe for Thursday which was homemade mac and cheese with pizza dough over the bowl to make it a bread bowl
-Didn't eat a good snack this week - no egg salad even though I had eggs, no chicken salad because I didn't make it
-Why did I bring dark chocolate morsels into the house? Ate some Sunday and Tuesday
-Overall 10 chocolate chip cookies on Sunday and Monday
-Leftover spaghetti for lunch on Wednesday due to intense work stress
-Ate 2 chocolate pudding (albeit low fat) at 2 different sittings instead of good snack
-2 nights stayed up until 11:00 watching TV

What did I do well:
-10K steps every day - no matter what!
-Got in my 2 C25K days in
-Made a 2019 running plan
-Listened to "Half Size Me" podcasts to inspire me
-Didn't get anything at Starbucks the 2 times I went with my daughter
-Food prepped my breakfasts Monday - Thursday and my carrots
-Did add veggies to my Asian noodles on Monday and made a salad to go with the mac and cheese on Thursday (and ordered a salad at Bertucci's)
-Threw the dark chocolate morsels out before I ate them all
-Could have easily had more than 10 cookies!
-Another week of not buying my lunch at work
-Wasn't as good with my water



Plans for this upcoming week:
-Go to my WW meeting regardless
-Get in my C25K days and 10K steps per day
-Make more eggs so on hand
-Make more chicken salad but not so much so I don't get bored of it
-No chocolate in the house; only planned meals
-Plan my dinners and only 1 regular size serving
-Bed at 10:00 every nights
-Track my water better to make sure I get in my 100 oz

While I am not excited to wake up and go to WW in the morning, I am excited for the reset!

2019 Plans to Run

In September 2011, when I did C25K for the first time, but the time I got to the long runs I decided to run outside and immediately got bronchitis because it was so cold.

In March 2013, when I did C25K for the 2nd time, as soon as I hit the 20 minute run I started running outside because it was now becoming spring.

Now, I am not sure of my plan. As of today, January 17, 2019, there is no snow on the ground but that is going to change this Friday or Sunday so the treadmill could be my friend for the foreseeable future :( But better than nothing!

I am scheduled to run 20 minutes on Saturday January 26 and Thursday January 31 is my last interval run - from there on out the runs are 25 minutes or longer.

If I keep with the plan, I will be complete on Saturday February 23rd with the last 30 minute run.

So where from there?

I want to keep up the 30 minute runs 2x a week and then a long run on the weekend during which I will increase my time (this time I am going strictly on time, not distance). I am going to be very conservative with my increases. So the plan is to increase by 3-5 minutes weekly all the way until mid-May when I will get to 70 minutes.

I may or may not sign up for a 5 mile race over Memorial Day weekend which I've done a few times.

And continue to concentrate on 5 miles until we go on our trip in June. For the most part I am planning that these long runs (time and distance) will be on Saturdays so Sundays can be reserved for hikes and other family outdoor activities.  I will not be giving up Weight Watchers to do these longer runs. It also means I won't get to make many trips to my favorite rail trail (which is a 25 minute drive away), but that is okay - those can come after our trip in the summer/fall.

Then the plan would be to after our trip in July I'd pick up my mileage a bit, and slowly, to get it up to 7 miles. I may sign up for a 10K in August and September. I'll also continue hiking as we are planning a big hike in Vermont in October. And then I'd be so kick-ass at 6-7 miles and I could start 1/2 marathon training in November. So that is the PLAN. I like having a PLAN! And I WILL get excited for every single "new to me in a while" distance because I haven't run longer (ie even a mile!) distance without walking in a long time.

This gradual increase and not worrying about distance (ie not worry about speed) will also be conducive to weight loss.

I do want to incorporate other exercise, but for now, this is the RUNNING plan! I like this plan!!!

Mid-week Checkin

This weekend hasn't been going very fantastically.

Monday
I got in some walks at work and ate my normal foods and then had a follow-up appointment from my colonoscopy in November. I hadn't met the doctor except for the procedure. Well, turns out he wants to do an upper endoscopy just to be cautious. He usually does it if he finds 10+ polyps. Well, I had 9 and with a family history of polyps on both sides, he feels like he should be cautious. Good news is I only have to fast, not do the bowl prep. The bad news is I have such a horrible gag reflex (tongue depressors make me gag) that he is going to do it at the hospital so I can get more anesthesia - still no general anesthesia, but heavier than at the Endoscopy center. So that is scheduled for February 8th. Lovely, trying not to freak out about it.

My kids had made chocolate chip cookies on Sunday and due to the stress of the pending procedure, 8, yes 8, made their way into my mouth (4 each in 2 batches about 30 minutes apart, not wolfing down 8 all in one seating).

Dinner was "everyone for themselves" (story of my life this week with my husband traveling) - I had a microwaveable bag of Sobe noodles, chicken, veggies, peanut sauce/wasabi dressing combination.

Because I hadn't walked too much nor had a lot of steps, I walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I listened to more Half Size me podcasts - I love them!

Tuesday
I knew the scale result wouldn't be great because the peanut sauce/dressing was salty.

I couldn't drop off my son at school until 8:30 so I made sure I got a 20 minute walk on treadmill before I left.

Work stress got to me and my snack was dark chocolate bits and almonds.....the rest of the chocolate got tossed today. I just can't have it in the house.

I am repeating Week 4 of C25K again so I did Day 1, running 3 min, 5 min, 3 min, 5 min at 4.7 (12:45 min mile). Afterwards I came up with a running plan for 2019 (more on that tomorrow).

My son had to be picked up at 7:00 from ski club and we hadn't had dinner before that and he wanted spaghetti, so I had 2 servings, with sauce and cheese, at 7:30. Second serving, not necessary. And no, no veggies.

I also stayed up too late. I watched 'This is Us' at 9:00 but had some other DVRed stuff I wanted to watch (and due to the chocolate at 3:30 I wasn't tired).

Today on to a better day! We are going out to dinner and nothing really healthy, but I am going to try to have something not horrible (but not "diet food" like fish).

RunDisney/ Plans for running

Just a quick re-cap with my history of running:
I used to hate it - I was the kid who dreaded the timed mile. And then my sophomore year in high school I tried to start running and I ended up with 2 stress fractures in each leg - one right below the knee and one above the ankle, as well as shin splints. All because I was wearing the completely wrong shoes. But my running career was over before it started, at age 15.

In the summer of 2011 I was back at WW for the upteenth time and they had a challenge to walk a 5k. Since I had small children at the time, getting outside wasn't really an option, so I decided to work up to walking the 3.1 miles on the treadmill and it took forever. Time was so precious and I just wanted to get the 3.1 done as quickly as I could. A friend had done the C25K program so I decided to give it a try. I did it during the fall of 2011 - First on the treadmill until I got to the 20 minute run, and then outside. By then it was late October and I got bronchitis my first time running outside. Even though I couldn't run for a month, I still was able to do my first 5K the day after Thanksgiving. My time was like 38-39 minutes. I did 2 more 5Ks, the 3rd one being on New Year's Day. I last ran on Super Bowl Sunday 2012, the day after we committed to moving. I never thought I would take off 13 months. Moving will do that to you.

March 1, 2013, 3 months after recommitting to WW, at 223 lbs I decided to try C25K again. My friend who had gotten me into running had just had her gallbladder out and wanted to get back outside running slowly (ie my pace!), so even before I was completed I started running with her on a rail trail. By my birthday in August I was up to a 6 miles. In 2014 I ran a ton of races including a PR in the 5K (31:30), my only true 1/2 marathon (2:32:30) and on 1/1/2015 I PRed the 10K (1:07).

In December 2014 I joined a running group because I wanted to get to 400 miles by the end of the year and I couldn't do that just on the weekends and I hated the treadmill and I wasn't going to run by myself in the dark. Since then my running has tanked and I've gained the weight back - The weight gain happened for many reasons, but part of it was lack of sleep - waking up at 4:30 am to run at 5:00 am meant less sleep. And I didn't even like those runs - I didn't feel the runner's high running in the dark. I did run 400 miles again in 2015, many of them with the group. But 2016, 2017 and 2018 my miles have decreased, to a low of 57 in 2018! (I didn't run even 1 mile from early September 2017 until February 2018). So even though I am monetarily part of the running group and I follow them on Facebook, I don't run with them anymore.

I do miss running. I don't just like running for the sake of running and I am pretty particular about where and when I run, but I want to get back into it, hence starting C25K again.

Part of my frustration of running past 2014 was that I had run a 1/2 marathon. I loved all parts of training for it (except the huge blisters I got during my last long run - wrong socks!) but the next time I tried to train for one, I didn't feel the same. Been there, done that, when it came to the long miles. It wasn't new. I planned on running a 1/2 over Memorial Day weekend 2015 but with my dad passing away on 5/4 I knew I couldn't (or wouldn't want to) dedicate the last few weekends to long runs so I ran 13.1 on my own the weekend after he passed away. In 2016 I tried to train again, but this time the weight was just too much - I didn't want to hurt myself. But it has been so long that I feel like I am ready again - That the excitement of doing those distances again would once again by exciting.

I've done 3 runDisney races - 2 5Ks and 1 10K.

I've told myself IF (and it still is an IF) I were to ever run a marathon it would be in Disney. Their marathon is in January which should be ideal (except yesterday, which saw a high of 80 degrees and humidity). My body doesn't like heat. Never has, no matter what my weight. But I don't want to run a marathon on Cape Cod in February! Or raise thousands of dollars to run Boston (and hello, hills!) And I don't want to run a relatively flat marathon in Chicago or Philadelphia in October/November because that means lots of summer miles. The training cycle for the Disney marathon starts mid-late August. Which happens to be my birthday. So IF (and still a big IF) I were to do a marathon it would be Disney, January 2021. I could start training on my 50th birthday. Though I would have to register in April of 2020.

 Then I keep thinking, I've done a runDisney 5K, a 10K and if I were to do a marathon, what about the poor 1/2 marathon? I had planned to go down with my family next February (2020) and run the princess 1/2 then, but I don't want to spend the $ for another family Disney trip. But since I told them all that we weren't going, I still kept thinking....but I could go down? A friend talked me out of Princess based on how it falls for our February vacation. Plus it means a lot of winter miles as training wouldn't start until Christmas time. So if I were to do a 1/2, it would be next January. I would have to sign up in April of this year. And I'd have to be 10K ready (steadily 6-7 mile long runs) by Veteran's Day (which is perfect because that is when the kids' fall sports end).

But for now, I need to be able to run for 30 minutes without stopping (I am just at 5 minutes now!) . While I think I would do the run/walk method for marathon training, I want to get back to non-stop running. I never used to walk, ever, unless it was a huge hill, but I usually avoided those in long runs, or used them as part of a short training run.

Which brings me to my foot. Every time I've tried to run over the last 18 months I feel like I perhaps have the start of a stress fracture. Or it could just be that my feet are too fat right now :) But I worry about it. But I am going to continue with my plan to do C25K - be done with that towards the end of February and starting March 1, start increasing my mileage to get back up to 5-6 miles. No races on the plan, just getting the mileage (with no walking) up. That is my plan :)

Ellie and I - 5K- November 2014

Pre-cruise 10K - April 2016

Weekend Wrap Up

I didn't take any pictures this weekend - it was such a nice low key weekend.

Saturday
After WW I ate a banana - I was contemplating getting W4D3 of C25K done, but I wasn't feeling it. Instead I headed to Target - I hadn't been there in over a month (a miracle!) - We are trying to keep expenses low, but I had a few things I needed:
1) A wall clock for our basement so I can see the time while I am on the treadmill
2) A standing fan for behind the treadmill (we have one in front of the treadmill and the one on the treadmill, but I want one on the back!)
3) A timer for our living room lamp - we have 2 other timers in the house, but I love having this one lamp on but I always forget to turn it on so I figured a timer would be good to help make this one room more cozy. I am trying to read more this year and love to read in there.
4) Mason jar lids - I have a project I am starting to work on (I had hoped to work on it this weekend but I didn't!) which I need lids for.
5) Bralette for lazy days - Now that I've started doing the C25K, after I am done it is too early to put on PJs, so I put on comfy clothes but really don't want to put a bra back on, so this is the perfect choice.

I really kept to my intended list - So proud of myself!

When I got home I hopped on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then made oatmeal for breakfast.

The rest of the morning was spent putting away my purchases, doing some organizing, and reading. Around noon I hopped back on the treadmill for another 20 minutes. Lunch was spiralized sweet potato, chicken, little bit of goat cheese and dried cherries.

I just couldn't bring myself to do C25K - I was cozy in my comfy clothes, so I did another 20 minutes on the treadmill to get me to 10K steps. Dinner was chicken parm made in the Instant Pot, some spaghetti and a salad. I did have my son's chicken when he refused to eat more than the bite I made him have (story of my life). And I finished up the day reading and watching Hallmark movies. A perfect Saturday night.

Sunday
My husband left early and I was up - I love getting up early knowing the rest of the family will be asleep for a while! I was not happy when the scale was up almost 2 lbs - I knew dinner was pretty salty and I had not been good about my water all day Saturday. I made a note to make sure I got plenty of water on Sunday.

I had some peaches to give me a little energy to run and then did get in W4D3 of C25K done. I had a chocolate milk after and skipped breakfast at it was 10:30 by this time. I did have my normal work snack around 11:00 and a lunch of leftover spaghetti and salad around 1:00.

I chose to sit and enjoy 2 games of football. I was very pessimistic about the Patriots' chances, so was pleasantly surprised. I did cave into temptation in the afternoon. I just wasn't in the mood for an egg salad snack - I knew we had dark chocolate morsels so put some in a bowl with PB.  But I didn't finish the chocolate :) I actually threw it out. And at the start of the second game I got on the treadmill for 10 minutes to make sure I hit 10K.

I wasn't really hungry for dinner so I had a quick microwaveable Kraft Mac and Cheese....and my daughter made chocolate chip cookies, so I had 4 over the course of the evening :(  But I didn't have any dough, and 4 could easily have been 14!

Of course I couldn't fall asleep very easily - that is what happens to me with chocolate. I slept horribly. I was having weird dreams about football (love the Patriots, but I really do get anxious about watching them), work (I foresee a stressful week), and my foot (more on that tomorrow).

WW Weigh-in #2 + Week Wrap Up

Even though it was 11 degrees I got out of bed and headed to WW.

230.2 at home/232.0 at WW - 3 pound loss this week! I wish every week could be that great. The reason for that high a loss can be attributed to the following:

1) Last week was towards the beginning of my cycle

2) It was my first week

3) I had a low stress week at work

4) I tracked and walked 10K steps a day

#1-3 won’t be part of this coming week so I’ll have to rely on #4 to get me through this week and all the weeks to come.

Wednesday - Friday were pretty ordinary days

Wednesday I worked from home - I walked on the treadmill 4 times. My husband made pulled pork and pasta for dinner but I added in my own veggies.

Thursday I walked 3 times at work and then did W4D2 of C25K. I asked my husband to bring home a pizza after his haircut. I had veggies I wanted to use up for a salad. I thought maybe I’d only have 1 piece but the slices are that big and I knew I could have 2. Didn’t want to deprive myself and when I checked my calories in MyFitnessPal I was well within my range (except for sodium!). I had a 8:30 meeting Friday so I went grocery shopping Thursday night.

Friday I worked from Horne. At first I thought I was getting sick because I felt awful in the morning but thankfully that went away pretty quickly. I ended my day with my pre-WW “dinner” of a banana, Nutella and a flaxseed tortilla. This time I weighed the Nutella - 38g.

My activity for Friday was to organize my tracker. I felt like I needed a bookmark so I laminated a picture from our Out West trip (there are 2 more pictures on the back) - unflattering pictures but to give me inspiration to work hard coming up to our next trip. I also made a pocket for my WW booklet which has a picture from 2014 (right before my 1/2 marathon after which I started gaining) and another picture from our WDW trip in November (again, unflattering)

So what for the next week?

Keep doing what I’ve been doing - I am not going to change up my eating this week. This week could be more stressful and I’ll be coming up on my mid-cycle (I think - perimenopause sucks so I never know) which has been tripping me up the last couple of years. So I am hoping that tracking and walking through it will help.

Happy Weekend! 

Mid week check in

Since Wednesday has just started, the week isn't technically half over yet, but close enough!

When I walk on the treadmill I've started listening to "Half Size Me" podcasts. The ones available start in 2014. One of them was talking about the importance of looking in the mirror, really looking in the mirror, during your journey. So I decided that was important....Of course last night I came home and found the house cleaners had broken the mirror (the back part that keeps it up) so I didn't get a picture this morning. Hopefully it can be fixed because the mirror wasn't cheap!







Do I like looking at these pictures? Not at all. But I know it is important to have them. While looking for pictures for My Story I found that I have so few pictures of myself - I know so many women, especially moms, don't. Partly because they don't like how they look and don't want to be in pictures,  and also because they are the ones taking the pictures because they appreciate more documenting their families lives. I get annoyed how often I have to ask my husband to take my picture.

Another thing I heard in one of the podcasts was talking about BMI and how flawed it is (I admit I totally pay attention to BMI - for me above 184 is Obese and 155-184 is Overweight. We will see how I feel when I get back to 184 to see if 154 is even still doable at my age) But they were also talking about waist size and how really that is a factor. We've been hearing for years that pear shaped women are healthier than apple shaped women - ie belly fat is a huge contributor to health issues. I never gained weight in my belly until after my 2nd kid. Even after the first the weight wasn't there. So they talked about striving for a waist of 35" or smaller. Monday I pulled out the tape measure. 42" - that's a bra size, that used to be my hip size. I've never been one for measurements but I now I feel like I do want to keep track of some of them - waist, hips, bust. Not going to worry about arms and leg right now.

So how has the week gone so far?
I've gotten in my 10K steps both days. Monday I took 3 walks at work and then a 21 minute walk at home on the treadmill to hit my 10K.
Tuesday I took 3 walks at work and then did Week 4, Day 1 of C25K on the treadmill. My walking is at 3.0 mph and my running is at 4.6 (about 13 minute miles).

Dinners have been so-so.
Monday I made asian meatballs (baked, with beef because that's all we had), rice in the Instant Pot, and edameme. Probably had a bit too much - not a full second helping, but more than 1 serving.

Tuesday it was a "everyone for themselves" night as my son was at ski club. I had a left over enchilada, but I was still hungry. I should have waited 10 minutes. I made some asian noodles (1 packet is 300 calories) and put on some veggies and a little ginger dressing. Again, not horrible, but I felt pretty full after that "second dinner" - I needed more than the enchilada, but I could have done with 1/2 of the noodles.

Today I am working from home - I enjoy those days so much more. I did a mini grocery run early, I don't need to do laundry like I do on Fridays, so it is a much more enjoyable day to be home.

My story.....Obese since 2003

When I started dating my husband in December 2002 I was 172 pounds. That is 18 pounds over the "normal" BMI/WW weight of 154 for my height. I had started the year as a "normal" weight but by spring I was overweight. But by the beginning of the following year I would be obese, not to venture back into "overweight" except for a few short periods of time over the next 16+ years.

When we started dating, I was burnt out. Burnt out from working 12 hour days. Burnt out from house repairs. Burnt out from training for months at an end. I was ready to relax. My husband's eating habits were horrible. He liked to eat dinner at 9:00 at night. I'd go home because he didn't get home until 7:00 and then we'd meet up and I'd end up having a second dinner. And staying up late and drinking way more than I was used to, all I know is by the time I got back from France in early June 2003, I was 196 pounds.

August 2003

June 2004 - Newly engaged

In May 2004 we got engaged - I was 184 lbs by then and didn't lose any weight in the year before our wedding.

May 2005 Wedding

Hawaii honeymoon

Since I was almost 35 when we got married, we weren't going to wait to have kids. Honeymoon, work stress, stress of the thought of getting pregnant, I was 206 in November 2005 when I did get pregnant.

Last picture before I got pregnant - November 2005

I felt so ill my first trimester that all I wanted to eat was Ritz crackers and pasta for the first 13 weeks. And the last trimester was summer and I over indulged with ice cream. My last weigh-in at the OB I saw 249 on the scale. To this day I've told myself I don't ever want the scale to say 24_, which is part of why I'm lighting a fire under myself now.

2 weeks before she was born - July 2006

I seem to recall that I pretty quickly got back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 206, but when I stopped breastfeeding (at 6 months) the weight quickly came back on to 216.

I joined WW At Work that spring and pretty quickly lost I think 20 pounds, so got under 200 (Time #1)

Her 1st birthday - I got pregnant again a month later

I got pregnant again at the end of August 2007. I had the same 1st trimester food aversions and gained weight my first trimester. Unfortunately we lost the pregnancy at 13 weeks in November 2007. I was pretty desperate to get back to that pre-pregnancy weight as quickly as possible. I know I was about 196 at Christmas time.

July 2008 - I was pregnant again and didn't know it yet

I wasn't in a huge rush to get pregnant again, despite my age, and I was stressed about getting pregnant again, so I was 206 when I got pregnant again. Again I gained about 10 pounds in the first trimester. I was on modified bed rest from Weeks 22-25 and 28-36. I was very concerned about weight gain, so I really watched what I ate so I probably lost some weight. My last weight in at 39 weeks was 231. So yes, right now I am the same weight as I was 9 months pregnant.

March 2009 - 1 week before he was born

Same thing happened with my son - pretty easily got down to 206 (pre-pregnancy) and re-gained once I stopped breastfeeding. I was 216 at his first birthday (March 2010)  and joined WW At Work the next week.

March 2010 - His 1st birthday

In 11 months on WW I went from 216 to 181 - 35 pounds. (in Onderland time #2)

March 2011 - His 2nd birthday

 

At that time life took a turn in my husband got laid off from our company in March 2011 . We chose for him to stay home for 10 months to further his education on-line. Obviously money was a stress. We had always planned on moving in Spring 2012 and I was devastated to think that might not happen. I also asked my husband that I would like him to come up with new ideas to add to our menu planning. He chose to come up with these elaborate, not healthy meals. 2 meals in 10 months got added. I felt like I was at a restaurant and also felt like I needed to eat a lot because he had worked so hard. And then in January 2012 we figured that if he got a job in the next month, we could still feasibly move in spring/summer 2012. 2012 was spent with the stress of getting our townhouse ready to sell, finding a new house, moving, having 2 mortgages for 3 months, and settling into a town where we knew no one. At to top it off, we lost my mother-in-law in November 2012. In a period of 20 months I had regained the 35 lbs I had lost + 15 more. I was 231 when I re-joined WW on December 2012.

New Year's Day 2012- My 3rd 5K before taking a 13 month break from running

One of the "ah-ha" moments from Disney - November 2012 - 2 weeks later I re-joined WW

I lost 35 lbs in the first year (in Onderland time #3) and in July 2014 I received my 50 lb charm.

2014 was a fantastic year from a exercise stand point. I ran 21 races - I PRed 5K (31:30) and 10K (1:07) and ran my only official 1/2 marathon (2:32:30). But it was also the year we lost my father-in-law and my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I had pledged that I wasn't going to let his illness affect my health. Late September 2014, 2 weeks before my 1/2 marathon, I saw the scale hit 180. That was the beginning of the "end".

December 2013

March 2014 - His 5th birthday

1/2 Marathon - October 2014

Disney November 2014

When I gain weight I do it in leaps and bounds:

• In the 2 weeks after my 1/2 marathon I gained 5 pounds
• On November 1st we spent 9 days in Disney - another 5 pounds
• In January/February my dad's healthy really started to decline (adding to that, we had an Armageddeon of a winter in February and March) and on May 4th he was gone. I was probably about 200 at that point. We had lost 3 parents in 2 1/2 years.
• I rejoined WW in September 2015 at 203 lbs. But then I got bronchitis and was sick for a month - Next thing I knew I was 215 pounds by Christmas. And then I got bronchitis AGAIN in late January. By President's Day I was 224. Also during this time we were closing down my parents house, a process which took 18 months. While I missed my dad, packing up my childhood house was devastating. Life was in turmoil - my weekends were not my own, I was at my mom's house every Sunday, my house was a mess from all the stuff I was bring home. I did a 3-day Cleanse during President's Day vacation and saw 219.
• The "good news" was that from February 2016 - August 2017 my weight was pretty stable - I fluctuated from 219-224. In that period of time we remodeled our basement and family room and basic normal family and work stress.
• In August 2017 we went on a fantastic 2 week vacation Out West to Colorado, Utah and Wyoming. I hated all the pictures of me. Every.single.one. I gained a few pounds during the vacation, but dropped back to 224. But that fall my weight bounded back up to 231. I can't remember the exact time frame, but knowing me, 7 lbs probably came on in a month.
• I joined WW again at the beginning of 2018 and went diligently for 3 months, losing 5 lbs in the process. But I stopped going at the end of March 2018 because I was frustrated. I would lose the first 2 weeks of my cycle and then regain. It was just a viscious cycle. I have this fear that "perimenopause" won't let me lose weight, but at the same time I know if I don't lose it now, I never will be able to.

August 2015 - Back to 200

April 2016 - Disney Cruise - About 220

Arches National Park - August 2017

Back in front of the fountain at Disney - 50 lbs heavier

So here I am back where I started, or a little more. 233.2 on my scale on Saturday, 235.0 on WW scale.

But the fact that my weight had only fluctuated by 10-15 lbs in the last 3 years is not the worst thing in the world.

But now it is time to get it off again. 1 big pound at a time and if that means if takes 83 weeks, then it takes 83 weeks. In 83 weeks I will be 50.

My story...Pre-Husband Years

While I am starting all over again, I feel like I need to write my story so I can be reminded of where I have been but also be reminded that things could be so much worse!

This is the pre-husband portion.

As a reminder, I am 5'6" (for so long I was 5'6.5" but when I gain weight I presume either my joints compress and/or my back arches more making me shrink) and I have what I call a medium build - some parts are large framed (like a 36" bra even in high school) and some small framed (tiny wrists).

I have always liked junk food - we had very little in the house (cake and ice cream at birthdays and homemade chocolate chip cookies a few times a year). Starting at age 6 I'd buy candy with my allowance (candy bars were 25 cents - I got a dollar, I'd buy 4. My Halloween candy was gone within days. Starting in the 7th grade I took the city bus home every day - I had to switch buses in front of a convenience store so I'd go in and buy chips and a candy bar. But surprisingly enough, the majority of my weight gains have been due to overeating (too much pasta mainly), not eating a ton of junk food. But looking back at it, I definitely felt deprived, especially of salty foods. My mother was thin but had gotten high blood pressure when pregnant with me that never came down. So we had no salty foods in the house -pretzels had no salt, ketchup had no salt, no potato chips, nothing.

10 years old

I stopped growing in the 8th grade - I was probably 120 lbs, but I never really paid attention to the scale.  I do remember a time in 9th grade telling a friend I was 125. And I was 142 when I graduated from high school. Looking back, I wished I had stepped on a scale in high school. Not compulsively so, but my eating was so bad. I went away to boarding school in 10th grade and ate lots of junk food, post-dinner Mac and Cheese, and ate very little fruits and vegetables. I had never had to take care of my own nutrition before I went and had no clue how.

Around high school graduation

In college I was afraid of the Freshman 15. I took a fitness class my 1st semester which is the first time I ever lifted weights. I do remember I was 148 half-way through my sophomore year when I met the person who'd be my boyfriend for the next 7 years. At one point my weight got up to 157 at which point I went on my first ever diet. I was 20 years old. And I graduated from college weighing the same as I did when I graduated from high school: 142.

Age 20 - Around time I started my first "diet"

 

March 1992 - Soon before graduating high school

 

The summer after college, me and the boyfriend drove across country for 8 weeks. I was so worried about gaining weight from so much time in the car that I instituted a "no eating in the car" rule, and because we were on a budget, our lunches mainly consisted of splitting the 2 cheeseburger meal at McDonalds. Thus I didn't gain any weight on that trip. Score!

On cross country trip July 1992

 

That first year home was hard. Said boyfriend was still in college and I had a job I hated. I dropped to 132 without even trying. Instead of moving in together we broke up temporarily. At one point I dropped to 119 at age 22/23. But I settled to 125-127.

May 1993 - Low 130s

April 1995 - High 120s

My first stint at Weight Watchers was in Fall of 1994 when i had gotten up to 137 and my father commented on how I had gained weight. Fathers should never, ever comment on weight. WW was At Work. I reached Lifetime by getting to 130 - It took me about 6 months to do that though. But as soon as I reached Lifetime I started gaining.  And gaining. The boyfriend and I got back together, but that didn't last too long. At age 26 we broke up finally and I got my own apartment.

July 1996

I think my weight had gone back up to 157, but the only reason I think that is I got back down to 132 and my recollection is telling someone I had lost 25 pounds. But honestly, I don't remember being 157 again.

November 1997 - Single me in Mexico! High 130s?

I did join WW again in the Spring of 1998 and got back down to 132 (again, didn't lose very much, so if I had lost more, I did it on my own).

In June 1998 I quit my job and funded by my parents took 11 months off to figure out my next career move. I went back to school for graphic design and trained to do a Outward Bound trip in Montana and then in January 1999 went back to school for 4 months to train for my current job. I do know that when I started my current job in May 1999 I was 136 pounds.

August 1998 - Montana Outward Bound - 135

November 1998 - Start of rock climbing and spinning craze

4 days after I started my job, I started dating someone new. I was so eager to live in a real house that I moved in with him in October, even though that meant a 50 mile commute each way.  Lack of sleep + stress = weight gain (and relationship killer). I shot back up to 157 pretty quickly but through WW At Work got back down to 150 when we broke up in Spring 2001.

Me on my 30th birthday - Probably around 150

I stayed at 150 until I started training to hike Mount Rainier in Spring 2002. 2002 was a long, strenuous year. A great year, but an awful year. It was the year I left "normal weight" behind.

I had signed up for the hike and committed to re-doing the flooring in my townhouse, which meant having to paint the entire place, by myself. And then I got a new assignment at work which had me working 60 hour weeks for 11 months. I'd work 7 am - 7 pm Monday - Friday. Hike 10 miles on Saturday. And spend all day on Sunday lounging on the coach...and eating. My weight took a huge toll. I was 172 by the time I started dating my husband in December 2002.

Training for Mt Rainier - About 160

 

Before starting hike up Mt Rainier - August 2002

 

Where we spent the night on Rainier



And those are the last pictures taken of me until February 2003.

Wrapping up the weekend

It ended up not raining much yesterday so I headed back to the Reservoir. I brought headphones so listened to my “RunningComeBack” play list. I did more running than Tuesday but still didn’t wear my Garmin so wasn’t keeping track of how long I ran or how far.

During my run I kept thinking that maybe I should do a 1/2 Marathon in Disney next winter. I don’t need bring the whole family, but IF (a big if) I were to do a Marathon there in 2021 and I’ve done 2 5Ks and 10K there, I really should do a 1/2 marathon as well.

But I also love the Reservoir because it does have some small hills to go up and down (I walked up and ran down) and some technical areas which will give me some practice for hiking - let’s me use other muscles.

I ran in an old pair of sneakers, not my hiking sneakers that need to be replaced.

When I got home I made oatmeal with milk, blueberries, almonds and a little brown sugar (baby steps!)

My only “slip up” over the weekend was having some Chex Mix Saturday for snack. 

For dinner I had spaghetti and zucchini noodles. I did have a small 2nd helping, and leftovers for Sunday’s lunch.

Sunday we didn’t make it outside for any activity except to go to the grocery store. I did get in 3 20-minute walks so 3 miles and hit 10K steps for a 5th day.

My husband made beef enchiladas for dinner. So yummy as they were I stopped at 1 - even though I wanted 2. Baby steps!

Food prep I did:

Bagged my 5 days of carrots

Made more hard boiled eggs

Prepared 2 days of yogurt/blueberries/2 TB granola

Made my curry chicken salad with grapes

On to another week!