Grieving and moving forward....

My father passed away in his sleep on Monday May 4th. He had been in the hospital for 2 weeks and hospice was brought in on April 29th. We are all thankful that he is finally at peace, because it was a long, long year for him and my mother.

I tried so hard last year for his illness to not interrupt my exercise and weight-loss efforts and that worked until February when he really started going down hill. I am now 15 lbs above where I was in September.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a physical. She had been at 200 --it was at 2:00 in the afternoon. And that was after she took off 2 lbs for clothing. The doctor was nice --she said it is okay to be overweight was long as you are very active. So she really urged me to lose the 15 lbs I need to go get back to "overweight".  So I that is my goal to work on for the next 3-4 months. To actively work on losing weight again. And then I'll take it from there.

I ran 13.1 miles on Saturday, not for a race. I wanted to prove to myself that I physically could do it, and then I decided to drop down from the 1/2 on Memorial Day weekend to the 5 mile option. The last 3 miles were miserable. I don't want to be miserable. I wasn't going to race at all, but I miss doing it, so this is a good option. It will be hard because the course goes by the hospital where my dad died, but I can be strong about that.

So I am not feeling great about myself, but I am excited for the plan ahead.