Monday, February 25, 2013

What a bad week....

I am so mad at myself at how far I have fallen in just 2 weeks.

The fact that I haven't written since last Monday and when I opened my spreadsheet to log my weight this morning, I realized I hadn't logged it since last Monday, despite getting on the scale every morning. But when the scale is saying horrible things, that is what happened. That is how I gained 50 lb in 18 months.

Last week was just wild and out of control. With it being vacation week, everyone's schedule was off. Menu planning went out the door. And Friday night was topped off with a Chinese food dinner. I am SO mad at myself for not going to WW on Saturday - there really wasn't a reason not to go - yes, I would see a HUGE gain (hello MSG). But I also didn't go to sleep until 1:30. Actually I said up late a lot last week.

For the last 10 days I have been fast-forwarding through the whole season of Felicity, which ran from 1998-2002, some of the best years of my life. I kept thinking about my life at that time - how active I was (granted, I did still gain weight during this time) and I really, really miss being active!

The over-eating continued on Saturday. I thought it was curbed yesterday until I decided to eat chocolate ice cream at 8:30 at night (and threw out the rest of the carton).

The one good thing I did get accomplished yesterday was to set up my home gym - a corner of our unfinished basement, that has a treadmill, stationary bike and a bunch of free weights. The main thing it is missing is additional electricity - I don't want to overload our breaker, but I would love to be able to plug in our old 18" tv and attach a VCR (yes, we still own one!) and DVD player for additional work outs. Now I just need to get started! That is the hard part.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I am dragging.....

Knowing that I could sleep in a little because for the first time at the new house, I didn't have to drive anyone to school! (I left at my normal time, 7:40 and got to work at 8:00) I went to sleep way, way, way too late.

This weekend was a big 'ugh' in the stomach.

I had a normal breakfast and lunch before dropping off the kids and going to a movie - I had a medium popcorn, 1/2 of which spilled on the floor when I was trying to get situated in my seat, a medium rootbeer (that was almost all ice) and Raisinets.

Since we weren't meeting up for the birthday party until 7:15 (and we got there at 7:45) and the invite made it sound iffy if we were actually going to sit at a table at the brewery and eat, I had a large, large snack of almonds and beef jerky.

At the restaurant, I had 1 1/2 beers, a few appetizer (there weren't enough!) and I ordered a burger and sweet potato fries. The fries were delish, but the burger was just too thick and dense so I barely ate any of the meat, but had the bun and veggies. Dessert was homemade oreos (ie chocolate cookies with frosting between them). Yummy.

I had such a bellly ache when I went to bed. I just felt so bloated.

Sunday I woke up at 8:30 - no kids! And literally sat in front of the tv until 4:30 when the kids got home. It was glorious! And wasteful. I didn't each much out of the ordinary. I passed on ice cream for dessert! I drank a ton of water, but still felt so bloated and gross when I went to bed.

Since I didn't leave the house yesterday I didn't go grocery shopping, so I didn't have any coke for lunch today. That is okay, I am trying to not have it anyways, but I think i may have to go downstairs and get some for lunch because I am so incredibly tired it isn't even funny! It is only 11:40 and I feel like it should be 2:00 pm - not good for a Monday.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Weekly Weigh-in #12

Starting Weight (12/1/2012): 232.2
Last Week: 222.8
Current Weight: 226.2
Change Since Last Week: +3.4
Total Change: -6.0
Height: 5'6"
Goal: 149

Yes, I am completely bummed out, but my behavior the last few days warranted a gain. So on to a new week.

No predictions, no nothing, except to say I HOPE that I can not blow the whole week knowing that today I am going to a movie and out to dinner, and Thursday I am going out to lunch. But that is a whole lot more meals that I can succeed with.

I am also contemplating not buying my 8 oz cokes this week! I will only be at work 3 days this week, so I may risk it and see how it goes! Yikes!

I will say I am pretty proud of myself for getting to the meeting this morning. I didn't go to bed until 12:30 so I didn't even get 6 hours of sleep. I woke up with a headache and snow coating the ground - so easily could have turned over and went back to sleep. But I didn't! I really do love my meeting.

Friday, February 15, 2013

No more predictions....

I am no longer going to say that I think I am going to have a great week, or think about 10 lb stickers or 5% bookmarks, because this week I will end up with a substantial gain.

Up until a couple of days ago I thought it was dehydration, I thought my body would snap back down. But it didn't, then Valentine's Day came up with lots of baking which ended up at lots of nibbling and then the topper was last night when I had a pint of Haagen Daaz Coffee Ice Cream. Happy Valentine's Day to me! I can't remember the last time I ate a pint of ice cream. I will say it tasted really, really good! I bought it when I went grocery shopping with the kids after work, so I was hungry. And I sat down to watch my ABC shows with the pint - about 5 times I said I should get up and put it away and finally I said screw it!

Now I just have to get the thoughts out of my head of not going to my meeting tomorrow because I know it will be a gain and the next week is going to be very non-routine due to vacation. But I WILL go to my meeting! I will NOT let the whole week get away from me.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Week not looking bright....

I found myself yelling, a lot, at the kids this morning. If I had not known bette, I would have thought PMS, but I just finished TOM, so that isn't it. Then I thought about and I really think it was because I am discouraged by the scale this week. As of this morning I am up 2.4 lb from Saturday without any signs of it going down before Saturday. I don't want to show a gain after 2 weeks!

Granted the last couple nights haven't been stellar. Monday night I found myself having several handfuls of dark chocolate bits after dinner. Last night it was nibbling on scrapes of sugar cookie dough at 8:00 at night.

I got to work this morning with my normal food bag and remembered we had a lunch meeting, so I drank my 8 oz lunch coke at 8:30 am, along with my late morning snack AND my normal breakfast! And the lunch meeting consisted of a 12 oz coke, 3 pieces of pizza, and 2 servings of salad (with feta and creamy dressing).

I need to wrangle in this out of controlness - yes I know i have a birthday party to go to on Saturday night (and if my parents take the kids early enough, I would like to go to a movie), and next week is school vacation so I am taking a couple of days off and the whole week will be thrown off. But I can't let all of this non-routineness completely derail me.

Monday, February 11, 2013


I am back at work, though my husband is home with my daughter because she didn't have school. The roads are still really bad and freezing rain is in the forecast, so they cancelled a lot of schools around us.

Sunday was a long, long day!

Our driveway still hadn't been plowed and I was feeling cabin fever, so decided to clean, clean, clean. Almost at the end the plow finally came. He had left before we realized he had left a 6 foot section in front of our garage - we figured it was because there was no where else to put the snow. So after all that cleaning, me and my husband (with some help from my 6 year old) had to spend 2+ hours shoveling in order to even get out of the garage.

But the burn of my arms feels great - reminds me how much I miss weight training!

Eating wasn't stellar. Weight was way up this morning - not sure if was due to dehydration or the salty dinner I had last night. I did some grazing and I think I had an extra meal in there somewhere to give me energy to shovel.

I am feeling very disorganized for the week going into it without a full fridge (and not sure if the stores will even have anything), with a meal plan, and without having bought/made the kid's Valentines for schools, nor bought anything for them or my husband from me for the day.

But even with the disorganization I will try to make it a good week!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The things I miss!

Way back when I used to be an outdoorsy person. I dated someone for 7 years and one of the factors that lead to our breakup was me wanted to get outdoors more and he wanted to stay inside and play with his computer.

After we broke up I rode my mountain bike and street bike a lot and went rollerblading. Typical "inner city" 20-something outdoor activities.

I had dreamed about rock climbing a lot. I joined the Rock Gym (indoors) and eventually took an outdoors class where I met my next serious boyfriend of 2 years. While I did gain a lot of weight 25 lbs (went from 132 to 157 - mainly due to an insane commute when I moved in with him), we did a ton outdoors - camping, rock climbing, kayaking, hiking, winter hiking, ice climbing, and snow shoeing. Though the outdoorsy part actually was part of why we broke up - With my insane commute, I wasn't able to get anything done during the week, but he was okay with being away a lot on the weekends, either overnight or just out all day doing stuff outdoors. I needed more downtime.

After we broke up I kept up the outdoors stuff to a degree. In 2002 I trained to climb Mt Rainier - I hiked every single Saturday from March until the trip in August. I gained 17 lbs (from 150 - 167) because the rest of the time I was working insane hours and "carbo-loading" (way too much!) I missed rock climbing, but I didn't have anyone to go with. But by the time the trip was over, I was so burnt out from hiking that I never went back to it. I gained 5 more pounds so I was 172 when I started dating my husband in the fall of 2002, and I went a 180 in being outside.

But I miss it so much! Today I went snowshoeing for the first time in 11 years!

I also miss:
Rock climbing
Winter hiking
Cross Country Skiing

When I started C25K in September 2011, that was the first time I had done something that exerted so much energy so fast. Sure hiking works your lungs and is a fantastic workout, but you aren't exerting yourself in the same way as running.

I think I prefer hiking :) Though I like running because you don't have to spend a lot of time doing it and thus leaves a lot of time for other things.

One thing I was reminded yesterday that I don't like is Yoga. I know it is good for you and a good addition to cardio and weight training, but to be in work out clothes and moving so slowly is so boring to me! Too much time for me to be thinking about all the other stuff I want/need to be doing!

Weekly Weigh-in #11

Starting Weight (12/1/2012): 232.2
Last Week: 224.6
Current Weight: 222.8
Change Since Last Week: -1.8
Total Change: -9.4
Height: 5'6"
Goal: 149
It is going to be a long week! I want to have a kick-ass week!

At 222.2 I will have lost 10 lb
At 200.5 I will get my 5% bookmark - This seems a stretch for next week and I don't want to completely deprive myself during this blizzard. We'll see what happens!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Blizzards make you want to eat....

But so far, so good! I keep telling myself it is still just a Friday. Even though I won't have weigh-in in the morning, I shouldn't go crazy. I allowed myself 1 M&M cookie (in addition to my normal snack), a bite of the kid's mac&cheese. Dinner was Chicken A La King made with Healthy Cream of Chicken. I had 1 Pillsbury Biscuit (5 points). But I also made myself a plate of fruit. But I am still feeling weak -to the point I feel like going to bed so I won't eat.

Who knows what Saturday will bring. Shoveling, boredom, the typical 'It is Saturday so I can be a little "off plan"'. But I will still try to be conscious of what I am eating, because it easily could turn into a free-for-all.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

To weigh-in or not...

The scale at home tomorrow and whether there is any snow in the air tomorrow morning will help me decide. My school-age child's school is cancelled for tomorrow, and I had already decided not to bring my son to daycare. So I will be home tomorrow with the kids (I really hope that my husband's work decides that they should work from home - after all, the Governor is asking people not to drive tomorrow, even before the storm starts). But if the scale says happy things, I may just shlep them down there.

I had a couple more M&M cookies this afternoon. Boredom perhaps? Stress of not working but constantly wondering what was going on at the office (I HATE that feeling).

My husband brought home pizza and a salad. I made myself stop at 2 pieces, even after the No School email came in the middle of dinner and I thought perhaps I wouldn't weigh-in.

I will NOT have a blizzard be an excuse to just throw caution to the wind for the whole weekend. I have visions of the 210's (still probably at least 2-3 weeks ago), but that will mean my 5% bookmark. Keep me focused on the prize.

It is going to be a long few days....

One of the hardest things about being a mom is having to flip your schedule on a dime. As I wrote yesterday I had everything well planned out on how I could get my weigh-in in before the storm.

Yesterday I left work early so I could get home for a conference call and then do a little grocery shopping to tide us over through the storm. Just as I got home I got a call from the after-school nurse saying my daughter was complaining of a sore throat, but no fever, but warned me strep was going around. After my conference call me and my 3 year old (who had come home from my parents house during my call) left to get my daughter and then go shopping, but right as we were pulling in we got a call that she did now have a fever.

The 3 of tried to go to the Minute Clinic at CVS but there were too many people waiting, so we went to the train station to wait for my husband (whose train was late - it is never late) so I could hand off my son. Meanwhile my daughter looked so sick - she *knock on wood* really hasn't been sick before - I had never seen her like this. Off to Urgent Care we went. 1 1/2 hours later, yep, it is strep. We got home, I was famished, no grocery shopping done. My husband had made spaghetti, so at 8:00 pm I wolfed down 2 small helpings (but second none the less).

This morning my daughter was feeling much better (but still couldn't go to school), so after dropping off my son, we went grocery shopping. What a mad house! At 8:00 am! The snow isn't supposed to arrive until Friday afternoon/evening, but everyone was shopping!

So here it is, almost 10:00 am, and I've just had my normal breakfast, plus a glass of OJ, plus a M&M cookie....I need to turn this day around now because it so easily could go very, very, badly. But off I go to snuggle on the couch - I am actually taking a sick day today instead of trying to work from home (and unfortunately my throat is starting to feel sore, so if the kids go to school tomorrow, I may have to go to Urgent Care myself instead of my weigh-in :( ). But I can't think like that - I need to act today like I will go to my weigh-in and eat well today.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Won't let the snow get me down....

Right now they are predicting a large snowstorm Friday into Saturday. I really hope they aren't wrong this time - I am looking forward to playing in the snow with the kids on Saturday. But most likely this will mean I will not have a meeting on Saturday....

But as I was writing this, I remember that my Weight Watchers location is a "store" which means you can weigh-in through out the day. So, unless the kids schools are cancelled, which I don't think they will be because the snow is supposed to be heavy until later in the day, I may run down there on Friday and weigh-in. So while I won't be able to get to a meeting, at least I can weigh-in. I am already planning on doing some grocery shopping this afternoon, so I will just get more than I intended so I can put off the daily shopping until Sunday.

But this early weigh-in will NOT give me liberty to "be bad" on Friday and Saturday. I am planning to have a really good week and then next Saturday, the 16th, my parents are taking the kids for the night and we are going to a 40th birthday dinner and I plan on living it up!

I am not expecting great things at weigh-in this week - A maintain will be okay with me. But hoping for great things on the 16th.

As for last night, we had taco salad using leftover chili. My husband had given me for Christmas these metal bowls where you can bake tortilla shells. Since it was the first time I used them, I just made all white flour tortialla shells. Next time I will definitely try my flax tortillas. I did have seconds (though I didn't finish the shell either time) but had fat-free cheese and greek yogurt, but did have a little guacamole.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I passed the Husband Dinner test

When my husband got laid off in March 2011, for 10 months he made dinner and I proceeded to gain 25 lbs. It wasn't all his fault :) Stress of him being laid off, stress of the unknown if we were going to be able to move or not, our routine was off (and then of course after he went back to work I kept on gaining another 25 lbs). But part of it was me not cooking dinne - I was kind of in the 'out to eat' mentality but at home. So I would have more than one serving - but he also wasn't cooking very healthy - too much meat, too much fat, not enough vegetables. And he was making such a big deal every night so I felt guilty.

He took off yesterday and made his Chicken Parmesan for dinner. I ate well all day. I had an extra banana when I got home because dinner wasn't ready. And I only had 1 helping - a small amount of pasta, a 3-4 oz portion of chicken (with cheese). It was very, very yummy. Tons of cheese, tons of garlic, pasta, just up my ally.

I made sure after dinner to tell him how much I wanted more than 1 serving, but in reality, it was just another Monday night dinner, so no reason to have more than 1 serving. He appreciated the compliments.

Still feeling bloated and crampy TOMish, but so far the week is going well.

Tonight is leftover chili in tortilla "bread bowls" - an experiment. The tortillas are baked, so they should be okay.

One thing I will be getting at the grocery store on Friday is sour cream - even if it is fat-free. Plain Greek Yogurt is not a good enough substitute when eaten plain - mixed in a dip or a recipe maybe, but not spooned on top of chili or tacos.

Monday, February 4, 2013

So glad the weekend is over...

Well, not really, because Mondays are hard, but the next 6 weeks is relatively plan-free, so I feel like I can eat well on the weekends, and a lot of years my husband decides after the Super Bowl that he is going to eat healthier too.

Saturday I made some chili for the game, then me and my daughter went to get pedicures (her first - and during which she announced her tooth was loose - anothe first!) - She will be 6 1/2 this week - she is growing up so fast!

We also went to the grocery store to get "winter is 1/2 over" flowers. But then by mid-afternoon I was grazing and just kind of had a mini-free-for all with snacks. Ugh.

Sunday I had a very large lunch-for-breakfast before skating lessons and then my parents took us out to eat at a Mexican place after. I didn't have soda, I didn't order any appetizers, I only got a quesadilla (instead of the plate with beans and rice), but I did have quite a few chips and salsa (their salsa is to die for!), and I did have a couple bites of beans and rice off my son's plate. It was a late lunch, so no one really felt like eating for dinner. I did have some chili with fat-free Greek dressing and fat-free cheese and some chips, but I didn't finish it.

TOM arrived Sunday evening as well, so now I just feel bloated and gross. A post-food hangover (no beer!). But another week to look forward too.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Weekly Weigh-in #10

Starting Weight (12/1/2012): 232.2
Last Week: 228.4
Current Weight: 224.6
Change Since Last Week: -3.8
Total Change: -7.6
Height: 5'6"
Goal: 149
Doing the happy dance!

Bring on the new week! I really want to try to do well this week, so I think our Super Bowl menu will be greatly reduced. I want to bust out of the 220's as fast as I can!

I found myself not being able to sleep last night, I was so excited to see what the scale would bring this morning and I was excited to go to my meeting (I did end up going to the 7 am one - get it over early!)

Off to pedis with my daughter and to buy myself flowers :)

Friday, February 1, 2013

Wishing the day away!

I want this day to be over! I want weigh-in to happen!

I am expected a pretty good loss this week, so I am excited.

But today is my work from home day and it is very easy for me to feel like grazing. Having weigh-in on Saturday morning really helps that though.

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day which means that winter will be 1/2 way over! To celebrate me and my 6 year old are going to the spa to get our toes done. And I'll stop by and buy myself some gorgeous flowers, and then Sunday night we'll have a feast. Meaning chili and wings and chips/dip and veggies/dip and brownies or cookies for dessert. I am not going to blow the one week on one meal - I will make the stuff lower-calorie and I won't go overboard and I don't plan on drinking - I only drink during the Superbowl when the Patriots are playing.

Monday night my husband is making dinne and that will be a test of only having 1 regular serving. Just because I am not the one cooking doesn't mean I can overeat.

TOM will be arriving at the beginning of the week though, so all of the above will be made a little bit harder because of that!