Thursday, March 31, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last weigh-in (2 weeks ago): 189.0
Today: 190.0
Change: +1.0

Could have been a whole lot worse seeing that last Friday I was 4 pounds heavier. Dinners have not been so great this week, but during the day has been fine. Life is extremely stressful right now - our family has taken a large financial hit, but hopefully the future will eventually be rosey again. But in the meantime we've got to button down - that will include me going to the grocery store tomorrow and finding out exactly how much my daytime foods cost and seeing where I can make some adjustments ($5 for 4 Vitatops - ouch - I'll either have to pick a new afternoon snack and look for them on-line). But at the same time I can't compromise my weight loss by buying cheaper, more unhealthy alternatives. We'll make cuts otherplaces.

But I am in my Weight Watchers outfit today - I haven't been to a meeting in a month or more. I was so tempted not to go but I can't do that to myself. During this difficult time, I need to take time and think about me. I need to lose the 4-5 lbs I've gained and get that spring back in my step.

Speaking of Spring - it is supposed to snow tomorrow on April Fool's Day - no joke. 14 years ago we got 2 feet on April 1st - it won't be like that, but still - It hasn't made it out of the 40s in I don't know how long. The mornings have been in the high 20s, low 30s. But at least the sun is high enough in the sky that the majority of the snow around our house has melted.

A month ago me and my husband weighed the same amount as I gained and lost the same 185-190 lbs. But the scale for him said 179.8 this morning - he eats so unhealthy that the slightest change to his diet allows him to lose weight like crazy. Hopefully during this time he'll be able to get more healthy and take care of himself physically - Can't say I am not a little jealous that he has time to be able to do this for himself.

In the next week I am going to work towards getting back to the healthy portions for dinners - Hopefully that will result in a nice change on the scale. I need it to say 18# again!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Home and not pretty

Really, really not pretty. I won't even put the official weigh-in because it wasn't really official, but I will just say it is well into the 190s - *gasp*

But I am home now. I came home to some pretty heavy personal stuff, but I am going to not let that get me down. I am dedicated to getting back on track and even hoping to get back to exercising - that will help to relieve the stress!

Definitely not where I wanted to be on my one-year anniversary of re-commitment/ another re-commitment. But it is what it is. I am not here to lose weight as fast as I can. It is about being healthy for my family and learning skills that will last the rest of my life - a long and healthy life.

I am so thrilled to be home - Now if only spring will really arrive - The 7 day forecast has all days starting with a 3 or 4. How depressing.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Soon I'll be home I hope...

One more night. I hope tomorrow isn't too hellish of a trip home - the ice storms of Michigan should be heading East. Fun, fun.

Another day of feeling full. Ugh.

Had my yogurt and Kashi for breakfast. Cheese stick and fruit cup for snack. Lunch was a chicken sandwich, some carrots, a coke, and nibble of my co-workers chips. I was starving, stressed and unsatisfied after lunch so I got a Milky Way bar in the cafeteria.

My afternoon snack was late - fruit cup and Fiber One bar. But I was starving and stressed when we went out to a BBQ place for dinner - 2 beers, artichoke dip appetizer, pulled pork with all the fixings, a shared piece of cheesecake. Ugh.

I can't wait for normal.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Trip 1/2 Way Over

I am so ready to go home - I miss my kids (I finally used Skype tonight with my daughter - so much fun!)

Today was slightly better foodwise, but far from perfect.

I picked up a yogurt on my way into the office so I had my normal breakfast. I had a snack of cheese stick and fruit cup around 11:30. They didn't buy us lunch today so my and my co-worker went to the caf - I got a large salad (so should have gotten the 1/2 order) with greens, chicken, grapes, oranges, nuts, few other things - got the FF dressing. Still too much food. Skipped the roll. Got the 20 oz coke and drank it all.

Had a snack of a Fiber One bar and fruit cup in the afternoon.

Went out to dinner - again skipped dinner with the gang here because we didn't want to eat at 8 pm. Got a beer. Got a cup of onion soup. Ate 2 of my co-workers bruchettas. Ordered tortellini. Had ice cream sundae for dessert. Not good at all!

Thank god I don't have to travel every week - I would hate to eat out every meal for most of the week - We eat out so infrequently at home that I do consider it a treat and never really try to eat very well. But business travel is a different animal but so hard to have the same 'dinner is just a meal' mentality I try to have at home.

Monday, March 21, 2011

So uncomfortably full

Here it is after 10 pm and I have the hotel room to myself and I should be in bed relaxing, but I am so full from dinner I am uncomfortable and I am dreading getting into bed. Dinner was mexican and I had planned to enjoy myself. But I am totally regretting it. I can't eat as much as I used to and I hate, hate, hate the full feeling.

Yesterday I had a birthday party to go to before getting my flight. I picked and nibbled and left around 2:30. Flight was delayed but not enough to have dinner, so I grabbed a water and some raisinets in the airport - figured raisins was better than anything. We arrived at 8 pm and decided to eat in the airport before our 2 hour drive in the pouring rain. It was quick mexican food - pretty gross. We didn't have time to find a grocery store like I had hoped.

Today I got a yogurt for breakfast and ate the Kashi I brought from home, so my normal breakfast. We were so busy in the morning that I didn't even think about eating my Fiber One bar I brought, so by the time lunch did arrive I was hungrier than normal. They brought lunch in - Chinese food and soda. Gross. I wasn't hungry for a snack, but my and my collegue did decline a dinner invitation because it wasn't until 7:30. We went to an okay mexican restaurant - but I had a drink, chips and dip, a dinner, and split a chocolate dessert. Stuffed.

I did find a grocery store on the way home and got water, canned peaches and carrots so I can have my fiber and extra water. I plan on stopping there on my way into town the next time.

Ugh, off to bed. Only 4 more days until my re-commitment. I can't wait!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

So excited for the end of the week...

I want it to be Friday again so my re-commitment can begin. But before then I have to endure a 4 1/2 day business trip. It is going to be a long, hard trip.

I am going to try to do all right with my eating. I am packing Kashi for breakfast (and I'll get yogurt in the cafeteria). I am bringing Fiber One bars for snacks. If we make it to a grocery store I'll get carrots, string cheese, fruit cups and water. If not, I have to find a way to get all my water in. Dinners will be the hardest because they will be at restaurants and probably not until 7-8 o'clock at night, when I am used to eating at 6.

I am hoping to pack my bathing suit and walking clothes,  but I am trying to limit my bag to a carry-on roller size and with 4 business days worth of clothes to pack, it is going to be tight.

Another good thing is today is the first official day of Spring! My favorite time of year. Of course it is going to be cold, raw and raining where I am for most of the week (here at home too) but hopefully when I get back the crocuses will be peaking through and more snow will be gone.

Have a good week!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 188.2
This Week: 189.0
Change: +.8

Another week of gains. But I am okay with that. As long as I keep weighing myself every day, I never let myself gain more than 5 lbs. And I have an end of the down-period or should I say another recommitment coming next Friday, the 1 year anniversary of my one last year.

Another thing I am considering doing is changing the name of the blog - I hate dates - I hate saying 'I am going to lose X by Y" It never, ever works.

Though I did make a physical today for June 21st so I have 3 months. My last physical was last February, so right at my highest amount. If I can come back having lost between 40 and 50 lbs, she would be absolutely thrilled (as would I!)

This week didn't go even remotely the way I wanted it to - I ended up having to be home Tuesday and Wednesday with a sick kid, and thus I couldn't be home yesterday. It was the most stressful work week to date in a long, long time. But thankfully I could have today off! It is 65 degrees and gorgeous. Tomorrow and for the next week it will be back to 40 degrees. So I am trying to soak in today.

Yesterday was my son's second birthday so I've officially been post-partum for 2 years (can you really say post-partum after the first year? I doubt it, but I will!)

We had one party for my son last night, one tonight, house guests and a 5 day business trip coming up. See why my recommitment isn't happening until next Friday?! Though I won't use the business trip as an excuse to eat everything in sight. I am hoping to stop at a grocery store after we land to get healthy snacks and lots of water. The theme of the party tonight is Farm, so we are having all sorts of stuff that lives and grows on a farm - not all 100% healthy, but good whole, non-processed food.

This was me a year ago for my son's first birthday

And his 2nd

Friday, March 11, 2011

How to love food and lose weight

I know that stress is a lot of my issues lately - Work has just been ungodly stressful.

But the more I think about it, for months I was just going through the motion of eating food and not really thinking about it or enjoying it. I wasn't tasting it. I was just eating it to get rid of the hunger. And I thought that was the answer. But I realize I wasn't tasting what I was eating and I missed the wonderful flavors of foods. But once I started wishing for the flavors, I found myself overeating. I write that like it is in the past tense - I continue to be struggling today.

So I am not exactly sure where to go from here. I think tracking is the only answer right now. To be accountable for the Lindt truffles in the freezer, the ice cream at 9 pm, the slices of cheese, too many pieces of pizza.

But even throughout this I continue to step on the scale every single morning which is incredibly important to me. The day I stop getting on the scale is the day I give up. I have weighed myself every day I've been home for almost a year - the only days I haven't weighed myself are days I have been away.

I will find my way back to weight loss. Not sure when it will be, but it will come.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Weigh-in (2 weeks ago): 186.0
This Week: 188.2
Change: +2.2

It is definitely the stress of working getting to me. Coupled with the fact that I know I won't have to face the WW scale until at least 3/31. I just can't make it another meeting - nothing around my house is remotely convenient, and the only one near work that I can make is on Thursday which is the same day as my work weigh-in.

With the exception of getting breakfast at work this week and a lunch a couple of weeks ago, my eating issues have been mainly been contained to home. I get home and feel stressed and that translates to nibbles (mainly cheese) while I am making dinner, as well as bigger portions or seconds at dinner, and too many desserts. The biggest change has been the more than occasional "snack" after dinner which is ice cream or chocolate.

I want to think that after March 25 that things will be a little better workwise, that I'll be able to breathe more and make better food choices. As well as maybe, just maybe, start exercising.

I should be able to stay on track for the next week. I am really going to make an effort, despite the continued stress of work. I haven't menu-planned for the week yet, but I am going to pick things that are not my favorites.

I am definitely disappointed in myself. I am not feeling good about my body because the 2-4 lbs have all been added to my stomach I feel - I never, ever had issues with belly fat until I had my second child.

But I am not going to let myself feel down for long. Spring is coming, Sunday is Daylights Saving (yeah!), there is hope and good ahead.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Downward Spiral

I will admit, that's what it has been like since Friday. I can't quite put my finger on it. I've been eating to my hearts desire, not drinking water, snacking and nibbling. One or 2 full-on binges in there as well.

I've got to get back in the correct mindset. And I definitely have to get back to drinking lots of water - that really makes a huge difference to me. And tracking - I need to track. I need to get back on the wagon even though I won't make it an official WW meeting until at least the 31st.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Finally home

We ended up leaving my client's office an hour early, so no afternoon snack. We arrived at the airport starving and 2 1/2 hours to spare before our flight - plenty of time of window shopping and a good dinner. Until we realized we could make a flight that left in 25 minutes. They had free snacks at the gate so I grabbed a water, a bag of sun chips and a 1 cup regular size Reeses cup and flew onto the plane. Still starving. The bag of pretzels and the coke didn't cut it. I thought I would grab Fresh City (burrito, yummy!) in the airport when we landed, but I was so eager to get home so I just headed straight for my car. I got home around 9, instead of 11:15 as originally planned. The generous portion of spaghetti I had made before I left was still there, along with the remenants of vanilla ice cream.

Need less to say I am up 3 lbs this morning, but that isn't real I tell myself. Today is a new day - albeit I am exhausted and usually my choices are not that good when I am exhausted. But I will do the best I can.

The side of my knee is hurting. I presume from being crammed in planes and cars and at a desk for 3 days - honestly, I haven't walked around a lot since I left. So my knee is in quite a bit of pain - going down the stairs kills. I am going to try to do some stretches today and hopefully get on the treadmill to loosen it up.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

No weigh-in this week

I write that a little bit stuffed from my lunch.

But to go back to dinner last night, we ate at a Brewery. I had tried to look on-line for the menu, but the menu wasn't on the website. It was about 7:30 when we arrived and I was starving. We were a group of 8 people, all the other 6 besides me and my collegue were men who travel Mon-Thurs each week. Thankfully for my waist no one suggested getting appetizers. We did get a beer each, which I didn't finish. Most of the food was BBQ and single pizzas. I got pulled pork. The 2 sides I got were coleslaw and baked beans - they were tiny, tiny though - about 1/4 cup each. So I was actually quite hungry by the end of dinner. But refrained for dessert, though a couple of people did order desssert.

This morning I got breakfast at the company cafeteria. I got a yogurt parfait and a very large muffin.

I had a Fiber One bar at 11:30.

I had a later lunch at 1:30 - I got a chicken fajita salad but a full-size portion - should have gone with the 1/2 size. And my 20 oz coke which I didn't come close to finishing.

Dinner will be at the airport (Mexican again I think) and then back to the calmness of my own home and my own food.

Next time I travel it is going to be for 4 nights - I've told my collegue that we need to find a grocery store between here and the airport so I can pick up water, carrots, string cheese, and fruit cups (and maybe Vitatops and 8 oz cokes). I will bring along my own cereal so I just have to buy the yogurt (the same I get at home) here at the cafeteria.

At home, we go out so infrequently that I do act like it is a treat and eat whatever I want. But if I am going to be eating out because I have to, not because I want to, I am going to try to eat as close to normal as possible, with the occasional transgression. This first trip to my new client has definitely been a learning experience, but now that I have some knowledge, my future trips here will be more successful on the food front.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Business Trip 24 hours in

At the airport I grabbed a water and a bag of Jalapeno potato chips around 3:00 - the chips would have been 8 points if I ate the whole bag. I had 1/2 the bag, but also had a 4 pt Fiber One bar so it all evened out point-wise.

On the plane I had pretzels vs. peanuts and a regular coke, because I knew I had a 2 hour drive once I got off the plane. Never, ever have I had to drive 2 hours from an airport. But the coke was only in the glass - they didn't give the whole can which was good.

We landed at 7 pm and drove almost an hour before deciding on Applebees for dinner - I was ravenous but did still order one of their Under 550 calorie meals and had water.

I got room service for breakfast - gross! One, I do not like to eat so soon after waking up. Plus my stomach felt wacky - I didn't have enough water yesterday and was feeling it this morning.

I met my collegue at Starbucks - I haven't had Starbucks in 4 years. I don't drink coffee because I don't like hot drinks. I love, love, love coffee ice cream, but to have my coffee taste like coffee ice cream, it is just not good for you. But I indulged in a grande ice cafe mocha - full on whole milk or cream or whatever they put in it. Yummy treat but not to be repeated anytime soon.

I had a Fiber One bar mid morning and drank lots of water this morning.

For lunch I got a bottle of coke (no cans to be seen) but didn't finish it. Got a chicken in a wheat wrap and some yummy home-made potato chips. No dessert though.

I had a Fiber One bar around 3:00. Here it is 5:15 and I have no idea what we are doing for dinner. I had not knowing! And I am starting to get starving. Not a good feeling.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Off to eat away from home

Our house was full of the sickies this weekend - well me and my husband. Thankfully the kids haven't gotten it...yet. Saturday afternoon/night I had a stomach bug - not horrible, but enough to keep my in bed for almost 24 hours and to eat nothing except ritz, plain pasta, and lots of gingerale. Sunday my husband had a bad cold and is home today, while I take off on my first multi-day, flying business trip in a long, long time.

The lowest I was over the weekend was 185.2, but salty food last night had me up to 186.6 this morning.

I packed a bunch of Fiber One bars to serve as my morning and afternoon snacks.

This afternoon I will be driving to the airport during my normal afternoon snack, then we fly from 4:30 to 7:00 - so I will probably grab something in the airport, but then we'll be hungry again when we land.

Tomorrow will be breakfast buffet, lunch in a cafeteria, and then a client dinner out. Breakfast and lunch on Thursday will be the same, then dinner in the airport before we fly off. I made some extra spaghetti when I made lunch for my daughter in case I am hungry when I get home on Thursday at midnight.

So I will hope for the best. I will miss my work weigh-in this week as well as next week - next week I'll be working from home as it is parent orientation for Kindergarten. Yikes!