Friday, February 25, 2011

I will not sabotage myself

My scale said wonderful things today - 185.4 and a BMI of 29.9 which meant the "Overweight" arrow was flashing, not obese.

But I have been here before, for a milisecond, 4 weeks ago. And then I prompty gained 5 pounds in one week. I will not, I will not, I will not allow that to happen again.

I already have the big unknown next week of the business trip, so until then I need to be on the straight and narrow. I usually am not on plann 100% over the weekend, but I am going to try this weekend because my extra points needs to be reserved for the business trip next week.

And here I sit at home, alone, for the first time in weeks! I miss working from home. The house is still full of Valentine's Day treats and other potential eating hazards. But I just have to keep my head down and work hard and eat like it was a normal day at the office.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 186.8
This Week: 186.0
Change: -0.8
Total Since 3/25/2010: 30.0 lbs

I was pretty surprised that I had a loss this week - With a few indulgences and several nibbles here and there, I just wasn't feeling it.

Now I need to stay focused. I do not leave for my business trip until dinner time on Tuesday, so I in essence have 5 2/3 days to be right on target and then hopefully my good habits will carry over to the business trip. For 8 years I traveled to the same place for business so I knew what to expect plus it was car travel so I had a lot more control. This is planes and cars and hotels and all day business meetings so I have no idea what to expect. So I'l bring my water bottle and several energy bars and hope for the best.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mid-week Check In

I didn't realize I hadn't posted since weigh-in on Thursday. It has been a really hectic week and I haven't had much time for anything. And unfortunately that also means that some mindless eating has crept back in. I am on track to maintain this week, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I am traveling for work for 3 days next week so I am already worried about what that will mean in terms of eating.

Saturday we went to the science museum with the kids and had lunch there. The cafeteria is always so hectic - I got a chicken and black bean burrito which was a wiser choice (and more yummy!) than pizza and fried or a burger and fries. I was exhausted having been up late Friday night working (boo :( ) so instead of water, I did get a Coke. I hate fountain soda and they only had 20 oz cokes, but I only drank about 12 oz of it.

For dinner we went out with friends - this was the meal I planned on indulging - I had 2 16-oz beers, they brought homemade potato chips to the table, which I didn't expect, we got nachos as a table, I had a salad with chicken for dinner, and then we all split a piece of chocolate mousse cake for dessert.

Monday I didn't stick to my plan for going to the movies - we went at 11:00 am and I did have a snack before we went, but I did get my own popcorn instead of sharing with the hubby as planned. But I did still get water. And we didn't go out to lunch, so I had my normal week-day lunch when we got home.

My water has definitely been lacking this week and I can tell the difference.

I am dragging this morning - I am contemplating some sort of caffeine, which I almost never do first thing. I need to get more sleep - lack of sleep has such negative effects on all levels.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 188.0
This Week: 186.8
Change: -1.2
Total Since 3/25/2010: 29.2

I was pleasantly surprised by the drop, though I tend to think some of it may be my mysterious pre-TOM dip. But I will take it.

I continue to be working crazy hours, so despite the absolutely desire to work out, I just can't get up at 5:30 am when I am not going to bed until midnight. But at least I am not having evening snacks, nor am I deviating from my normal work food routine, despite being very stressed at work. In the past I would have hit the cafeteria or the vending machine if I was stressed, even if I had healthy food with me to eat.

I have 2 food opportunities, well actually 3 this week.

1) Saturday we are taking the kids to the Science Museum and we'll have lunch there
2) Saturday night my kids will be at my parents (yeah!) and we're going out to dinner with friends to a pub-like restaurant
3) Monday we have off but daycare is open so we are still sending them (another yeah!) so we are going to go to a move

I will try to make good choices for 1), 2) is going to be a planned splurge and I am going to enjoy it! And 3) I will probably not get my own popcorn but share some of my husband's and then get a water.

With all this, I would still love to see 185.6 again by next week - we'll see.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Hold the cupcake, I'll have a banana

Okay, a banana and ice cream. My 4 year old daughter pointed out to us during dinner that there were only 2 cupcakes left and that there were 4 of us, so we could cut each in 1/2 and we'd all get a 1/2. I am so proud :) But my husband and I decided to forego our halves and since it was bath night, let them go to town. But I wasn't going to end Valentine's Day without a treat, so I cut up a banana into our Ben and Jerry's ice cream bowls and then put ice cream on top. My husband got a whole heaping bowl of ice cream.

I dropped my candy off in the break room at 8:30 am - It wasn't quite ALL gone by lunch (and lots of other people had added to the pile). I did grab 2 hersey's kisses in mid-afternoon. I had contemplated it for a while, afraid if I had 1 or 2, I would have opened the flood gates and I would have kept going back for more, but I didn't.

And a score I am wearing a size 14 skirt today - It is a mini skirt and I found it New With Tags in my clothes bins over the holidays. Since it is courderoy, I figured I would try it out, since my plan is for it to be way too big come fall. So I feel 25 today instead of 40. Yeah me!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Missing REI

In the past I have spent thousands of dollars at REI. 1999-2001 I lived with someone and all we did was outdoorsy stuff - I bought kayaking stuff and rock climbing stuff and hiking stuff and camping stuff and snowboarding stuff and biking stuff. In 2002 I trained to hike Mt Rainier in Washington state so I bought a lot of winter hiking stuff. But since 2002 I have barely stepped inside the store. I haven't done anything outdoorsy and none of my stuff fit and REI doesn't sell Plus Size women's stuff (or at least they didn't used to)

But in the last month I have found myself with no warm socks - just gym socks and work socks. In the last 8 years, the 10 pairs I had have all wore through. So today I ran in with my son and spent $70 on 5 pairs of socks. I missed being there so much. I can't wait for all my stuff to fit again. I can't wait to go back there and buy new rock climbing gear (you aren't supposed to use anything more than 5 years old - I'll "practice" with my existing stuff - ie practice tieing the knots and all, but I will eventually have to go buy new stuff) I am not sure if I will ever climb outside again, but I am dieing to be in good enough shape to go back into the gym (though not so eager that I am doing anything and everything to get back in shape)

The weekend was good.
-I stopped by the store on the way home from work on Friday to get a thin-crust pizza and salad fixings
-My husband made dinner Saturday - steak tips, grilled zucchini and squash and baked potato - I took most of the potato out and had the skin. I also made a veggie and dip platter since the grilled veggies wasn't enough
-I made breakfast this morning - grilled toast, poached eggs, bacon, and strawberries - I had a ton of strawberries, only a little bacon
-For dinner I made a ham roast, couscous, roasted asparagus - We had V-Day cupcakes and ice cream for dessert - I had a little ice cream, I had a cupcake - this is life - I am not on a diet - I wasn't going to deprive myself
-My husband put all the Lindt chocolate we gave each other in the freezer - I always forget it is there - he eats most of it
-I am bringing the rest of the chocolate to work and I'll stick in the break room and it will be gone by 9 am

My dinner tonight was a tad large so I have some discomfort right now. I literally did not sit down all day and I didn't drink much water and I didn't get a snack this afternoon.

I am feeling good going into this week :)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Feeling an upswing coming

I continue to fret about the 5 lb in one week gain and the slow loss of it. As of this morning I had lost 3 of the 5. Despite Valentine's Day and TOM coming, I hope I can be successful this week.

Thursday we had our first WW meeting of the new session and my first time as the organizer. We ended up getting 21 people so that brings us to early June! Lots of new faces so I am very excited. Several people couldn't make the first meeting so I am going over the program with them at lunch on Monday. And Thursday afternoon a collegue stopped by and wanted to know about the program so I found myself rambling on for 30 minutes. I would love to be a leader someday. I know I couldn't have it be my actual job, but if there was anyway I could lead a couple meetings in the evenings or the weekend, that would be so much fun. I love to talk about weight-loss. I can talk about it until I am blue in the face.

I just looked up the weather and I was so excited for what I saw - 2 days next week where the highs start with a 5! Right now I would take a 4, but a 5 - bring it on! We need this snow to start melting. There is just so much of it. But we want it to melt slowly so everyone's basements don't flood.

I get such bad spring fever. Really, really bad. I absolutely love spring. May is my favorite month of the year. Lilacs are my favorite flower. Just thinking about spring makes me giddy inside. The thought of wearing flip flops, and painting my toes, and wearing capris. Just makes me want to do a jig.

Work is also going well. Crazy busy, but in a good way (for the most part!). I've worked a ton of hours, but I am learning stuff and that is what is important. I am working with new people, new people I like. And I've been able to eat relatively healthy despite it. I do need to change my afternoon snack - the apple I need to cut up isn't going to cut it (woops, sorry for the pun!) anymore as I am too busy and it is too messy. The reason I have to cut it up is I have 1 tooth where I am worried about it's longetivity - I've had gum issues around this tooth my whole adult life and I worry that it could break eating an apple the regular way. I also need to go back to cutting up my Lean Cuisine pizzas so they are only 8 points.

Last weekend I forgot to buy my Lean Cuisine pizzas so I only had enough through Wednesday. So Thursday I had to buy lunch in the cafeteria. Thursday I got a egg salad sandwich. Friday I wanted to get a cheeseburger and fries :) But it would have taken too long to cook so I got the chicken/broccoli pasta.

So here is to being successful this week!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.4
This Week: 188.0
Change: -2.4
Total Loss Since 3/25/2010: 28 lb

Of course I am thrilled to be in the 180's again though I don't even feel comfortable with 188.0. The scale did it's initial 188.4 then jumped down to 188.0. And I continue to be pissed at myself that I am 2.4 lbs above where I was 2 weeks ago, but at least I lost 1/2 of that huge gain.

But honestly, I didn't work that hard in the last week. I didn't eat really horribly - ie no real junk food, but my dinners continued to be too large.

I haven't done the menu planning for next week, but I expect to cook lighter meals. Valentine's Day could be a challenge, but I will refrain. We don't really celebrate it, though there will be some candy around the house because of the holiday (TMI - a year ago tomorrow I had a violent stomach bug for 8 hours after eating V-day chocolate (not because of the chocolate) so I think I will be skipping the Dove hearts this year!)

My goal for the week is to get back to 186, 185.4 again would be nice. Though TOM will arrive sround mid-week next week so my Thursday weigh-in might not reflect all my hard work but that does not mean that I will not work hard in the next week. My ultimate goal is to be at 176 by 3/25 but in order to do that I need to work hard every week.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The struggle continues

I need to start tracking. I really do. I will come this Thursday which is the start of my WW week and the first day of our new session. I am not exactly sure why I didn't start tracking this past week - I really needed it. My weight has been hovering at 190 since last Monday, so 9 weigh-ins now.

The weekend was so-so. I changed our dinner plans so we didn't have Chinese on Saturday night as planned, nor did we do anything special for the Super Bowl. But I have definitely been struggling with dinners again. I can eat so well all day long at work and when I get home I am not starving because I've had 2 meals and 2 snacks, but dinner is where I do the majority of my overeating. Second helpings have started slipping in. Thus I need to track.

If I am lucky I will only have a 2 lb gain at WW on Thursday. The last weigh-in I had at WW was January 20th and I was 187.2. Because of the weather, we didn't have WW the week I got down to 185.6. But still, in my mind I know I had gained 5 lbs.

Today I am home yet again because of snow - only a few inches, but it saves me 3 hours worth of commuting time. I was starving first thing and I know I could have had a bunch of water, but I had a Slim Fast at 7:30 am. I will try my darndest not to munch while home today.

Please, please, please let spring come quickly!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Glad for a new week

I continue to be so mad at myself - the scale has said 190 the whole work week. How quickly things change in a week. But I do feel good that I completely changed our weekend meals to be "normal" with no treats. For dinner we had a thin-crust frozen pizza and a ton of salad so hopefully the scale is a little better tomorrow. All week, and for the foreseeable future, I am working out of a conference room with 6 guys - they all go down at lunch to buy their lunch and bring it back. I make sure I have my "food bag" with me so I can still eat my normal foods. Once a month they provide bagels for breakfast and today I skipped it (for the last 3 years I haven't been in the office on Fridays, but now I am).

We do have the 15 people for Weight Watchers which is great. Now don't snow next Thursday so we can have the meeting!

I am still so sore from my Jillian video - but a good sore! But I need to get back to my early bedtime. All week I've been working until 10:30 at night but instead of going to bed, I've watched tv for 2 hours. Not good!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 185.6
This Week: 190.4
Change: +4.8

Ugh! Major Ugh! When I saw 190 on Monday, I thought it was just from the sodium Sunday night. Nope. Have't made it out of the 190s this week. ugh!

it looks like we have 15 people for another session of WW at Work - just waiting on 2 people.

I've canceled all plans of goodies for Saturday night and "just because" goodies for Super Bowl sunday - we don't care about the teams playing. So trying to get back to basics in the next week and see what happens.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Shred in the afternoon

I am waiting on co-workers to finish something up so I can continue with my work, I spent a 2 hour conference call watching last night's The Biggest Loser, and I found myself with a spare hour before I need to start making manicotti for dinner. So I decided to test out Jillian's 30-Day Shred. Seriously - why did I not try this months ago? I loved it. It is exactly what I need to lift some weights without spending a ton of time, plus working up a sweat which I never do lifting weights.

Okay, sure I felt like a complete out-of-shape failure. But I am out of shape. A failure - no. But at least it is a starting point and I know I will be kicking butt soon.

I also need to push myself. That is something I never, ever did in all my years lifting weights. Pretty much as soon as it started to get hard, I would do 1 more rep and stop. I found myself doing that today. As soon as I didn't feel like I could complete another push-up (the girly kind), I collapsed on the floor and stretched out until they were finished with push-ups. There were several other instances where I just gave up before the set was over.

But tomorrow is another day. I am *hoping* to get up and get on the treadmil. Since I am not weighing in tomorrow, I can work out in the morning. And since I will be sitting even more than normal tomorrow, it will be a good idea!

I really wish I could work from home 3-4 days a week - While I did wake up early for 7 weeks last fall, it would be so great to go downstairs and get a workout in while no one was home.

Disorganization = frustration

What the past week has shown me is 1) If I don't plan, then things can very easily go haywire and 2) I am not ready to add a lot of treats into my routine.

Last week I was trying on my wedding dress and honeymoon clothes and hearing 'That's Overweight' on the Wii, but since then I've seen the scale be 5 lbs higher, back into the 190s, I've missed 2 weigh-ins due to hectic schedules and weather related madness. I've snacked mindlessly. I've had seconds for dinner. I've eaten after dinner. Overall a horrible week.

*Oh yeah, I did set my alarm for Tuesday morning and it went off, but I turned it off. I am mad at myself. But I did not know if the kids would be home with us on Tuesday and Wednesday - I needed to get as much sleep as I could to deal with everything that the weather was going to bring.

Tomorrow is registration for WW at work - hopefully we'll get the 15 people. But I am going to skip the scale. I just don't have it in me to wear the little dress - I will be scrapping ice off my car and I have a SIX HOUR conference call, during which I need to duck out to register. I can't not eat breakfast before that. So even without the added weight, adding different factors in, I just don't want to see it at WW. I'll see it on the scale at home.

But I am not going to let this bad week get me down. I am going to get back to basics and tighten the reins and hopefully have a good week next week.