Friday, December 30, 2011

The good and the new

2011 wasn't ALL bad...

I did complete 2 5Ks (though I am worried about New Year's Day - I woke up this morning with a majorly stuffy nose and sore throat :( )

My 5 year old daughter graduated from Preschool and started Kindergarten, she was in a dance recital, she learned to skate, she made amazing strides in swimming, she's loving gymnastics, she's decided that she loves to perform and sing, she's making a ton of new friends in school, she's learning to read and write, her imagination has really taken off, she's growing like a weed. I am so proud of her.

My almost 3 year old son has made leaps and bounds with his speech. He started the year with only a handful of words, now he is speaking 10-15 word sentences. He amazes me every day with what comes out of his mouth. We pulled the front off his crib so now he sleeps like a big boy. He's moved into the Preschool room at school. While he runs off like a typical 2 year old, he loves his gymnastics class. He is still my snuggle-bug mama's boy and I love it!

We didn't let Dan's unemployment get us down - we still took vacations to Sesame Place, Cape Cod and New Hampshire. We took advantage of all the snow and built snow forts and went tubing and sledding. We looked for frogs in the pond, we took pictures of the leaves and flowers growing and opening, we picked strawberries. We went swimming almost every day, we went to the beach, we watched a cool 4th of July parade, we rode rides at amusement parks. We picked apples and pumpkins and made colorful collages out of leaves, we raked and jumped into leaves. We made beautiful ornaments and decorations for Christms, we visited the Enchanted Village like I had as a child, we made it through Christmas without a stomach bug! We could have done more, but we DID have a good year.

And what is on the docket for 2012? It truely is the year of the unknown. I am not making any resolutions, no goals to obtain. I just want to live better and that means:

Eating healthier, cleaner, and most importantly less
Move more - running, biking, swimming (no, I am not training for a triathalon!), lifiting weights, walking, hiking, ?back to rock climbing, moving more as a family
Be more patient with my kids and my husband (he and I both need to work on this)
Be more wise with our money

We'd love to move into single family home (we are in a large townhouse right now)  - if it doesn't work out this year, then it will be in 2013

Obviously for my husband, his #1 priority is finding a job

As for the kids, there would be things that would be nice:

For my daughter I would love it if she is out of pull-ups at night, that she try riding her bike without training wheels, that she continues her love of reading and writing, that she officially learns to swim

For my son I would love it if he is potty trained during the day, that he gets rid of the binkie, that we finally can figure out if he is left handed or right handed, that the Terrible Three's don't end up being that bad

As a family I hope that we can make it back to Storyland, to make it Florida, that we grow closer as we grow older, that we have as many and more great experiences as we did last year.

And the most important, I hope that all of us and our parents continue to have their health.

Here is to the great unknown of 2012! Happy New Year!

Bye bye bad year

2011 really did suck for us - it started on Christmas Day last year with everyone getting the stomach bug.

And here I am, 20 lbs heavier than I was this day last year. Yep, the scale said 209.6 this morning. That is a 24 lb gain from my lowest point on February 25th. The weight gain was definitely brought on my these bad things from the year:
Dan getting laid off….stressful, but in the long run the best thing every
Dan’s surgery….with people we know facing cancers and other life threatening illnesses, it was nothing but extremely stressful for me as I had 3 babies to take care of for 8 weeks and our dreams for the summer disappeared

Stress of mammogram….this really was my major stressor this year - I was extremely anxious all year because of it. I've got to figure out how to live with it because as I well know, any year they could find something, but I can't let it paralyze me like it did. Just the thought of being sick or dieing and leaving my children motherless is more than I can bear.
Lack of exercise….I tried exercising in January, I tried exercising right before Dan's accident. But I did successfully complete C25K, just not with the time I wanted, and I didn't do any other cardio or strength training like I wanted

Not as good with our money as we should have been…but we saved for dan’s school and provided well for our children

The disappointment of maybe not being able to move in 2012 - We should have rung in 2012 with our major house repairs done, ready to go rent a storage unit and put our house on the market in March. Besides Dan's employment status, this is our big unknown (as of now) for 2012. Who knows where we will be ringing in 2013.

A really, really long winter…last winter, with snow cover from December 1 - March 25, really sucked the life out of a lot of people and really left me gun-shy when it came to this winter. The Halloween storm freaked me out thinking we might see snow from October 31 on, but it had been unseasonably warm this fall. Even if we got a blizzard a week in January like we did last year, I think I would be oky with it.
3 ½ weeks of bronchitis ….but I got back to running and did my first 5K

Besides C25K, I did really nothing for myself – I didn’t make any traction with any of my hobbies, and now I am well a year behind in scrapbooking. This was another thing that really sucked this year. That and I was used to having 10 hours a week to myself in my house and I don't think I have had 10 hours, probably not even 5, since March. I need that me time, I need my alone time. Without it I am not a happy person and the PMSing even makes it worse.

But on to the good.....

Monday, December 26, 2011

Not my greatest run ever....

For December 26th in New England, it was beautiful weather - 39 degrees at 10 am. After the horrendous winter we had last year, I would be okay if it was in the 30s all winter and had no snow (okay, a storm or two, followed by a nice thaw would be okay). Last winter we had snow on the ground from December 1 - March 25. It was a long, long, long cold, snowy winter.

I could really feel the lack of exercise and overindulgence in my run. And serious dehydration too. Pretty quickly I felt lower back and ankle pain. I pushed and pushed myself to go 2.46 miles in 33:42. It was really hard but I was proud of myself for pushing myself even that hard. I was miserable and I thought I would give up after a mile, then 1.6 miles, then 2.0 miles. I could have pushed myself to 3.11 miles but I would probably have practically been walking by then. I was afraid of hurting myself and I want to be able to get in a 5K run prior to my race on Sunday.

I was also distracted during the run, trying to rearrange my dinner schedule from now through Sunday. Usually on NYE we have cheese fondue and chocolate mousse. With how dehydrated I was today, I don't want all that cheese the night before so we'll have boring old spaghetti. My kids are only 5 and 2 so they won't care! I need to drink a ton of water and let up on some (not all!) of the treats before then.

It felt really, really good to get out today. I wish I had found the time in the last 2 weeks, even to get on the treadmill downstairs. But I got out today so i am happy. I do need a race to look forward to to keep me going though - without the NYD run, I probably wouldn't have gotten out today.

Getting Ready to Run

The kids actually slept in a little late - 7:45! Usually they are up at 6:00 am on the weekends, even though we have to pry them out of bed at 6:15 during the week. I promptly ate a banana and some pancakes with peanut butter in preparation for going for a run on a couple of hours.

I never thought I would be so excited to get out and run! Though I am pretty nervous because it has been over 2 weeks since I did everything. And right now I feel so bloated and out of sorts, mainly because our eating schedule has been so off for the last several days.

I am doing my best to try to just sit and relax and enjoy my daughter's first Christmas vacation - I am working from home on Wednesday and going into the office on Thursday, other than that I am off. But really all I want to do is clean up all this mess, put my house back in order, and get the new year started. But I refrain.

Growing up we always took down the tree and decorations on New Year's Day. No way I can wait that long! I need the house to be back in shape when we wake up on New Year's Day. I've decided that the evening of December 28th will be when we take everything down. Then I can have a couple of days to re-org the house, go food shopping to restock the pantry with healthy foods and a calm can come over me for the new year.

I love Christmas. I absolutely love it! And I will admit that a certain sadness comes over me during the evening of Christmas Day. That the Christmas spirit kind of gets sucked out of me. I lose my desire to see Christmas lights or hear Christmas music. The good thing is I lose the desire to eat Christmas treats as well :)

I was pretty disappointed at how much candy my husband put under the tree for me. Sure my behaviour this year has not demonstrated that I would care about treats for Christmas. He seemed that in order to increase the number of gifts for me under the tree, he wrapped a lot of the normal candy stuff that would go in my stocking and put it under the tree. Luckily everyone at work tends to bring in their stuff after the holidays so it won't all go to waste.

Bring on the running. I can't wait!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Popping in before Christmas

I haven't run since my 5K 11 days ago - I am dieing to do it! The busyness of the holidays is upon us. I had hoped to go on Sunday but it was 17 degrees outside and I didn't want to get sick before Christmas and the thought of the treadmil just wasn't appealing to me at the time - excuses I know.

Tuesday I had my 6 month follow-up mammogram. All day Monday and into Tuesday I was in a full blown anxiety attack - I could barely breathe, barely eat, heart palpitations, couldn't sleep. It was awful. And they took 2 sets of pictures, so 2 sets of waiting. But a sigh of relief when it was over. They still see something that they believe is a lymph node and they don't want to do anything more. I'll go back in 6 months for my annual exam (though I made it 9 months away!) This whole mammogram thing has seriously put me in an emotional tizzy for the last year. I honestly it has to do a lot with my 20+ lb weight gain this year. That along with everything else this year I just haven't been able to focus and have been eating my stress way. But at least I did the C25K and ran 2 5Ks this year!

I am not going to even do resolutions this year. Next week when I am off I am going to clean out the cupboards, organize the gym equipment, everything to start the New Year off right. Money is going to be extremely tight next year so I am going to have to be very wise about our grocery shopping. But I will still budget healthy foods.

2012 is going to be the year of Moving More. If that ultimately means a move of our house, that would be fantastic. But as a family we need to get out and move more. Hopefully the healthy eating with be there also, but moving is more important right now.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

5K #2

My official time was 38:19.

I am looking forward to my first chipped race so I know my real time. I think it was about 38:10 or even 38:05. I need so much practice on remembering to hit Stop on my iphone when I cross the finish line.

This race was in Boston along the Charles River. It was perfectly flat. It was 27 degrees when I woke up but was probably in the mid-30s by race time at 11:00 am. I wore running pants, long sleeve wicking shirt and short sleeve over it (my long sleeve shirts aren't long enough - don't want the gut to hang out). I am so glad that I didn't wear my fleece - I would have been hot. I did wear a hat and gloves and my fleece until it was time to line up.

We left the kids at my parents and my husband with me. My next race I may have to go by myself. Scary!

My husband took a few pictures of me running. I know no one looks good running, but still. Yuck!

Was the race easy - no. By no means am I even remotely close to thinking running 3.11 miles is easy. Was it really hard - no. It was flat. Did I come close to wanting to walk? Nope. I have found that walking is really hard for me. Okay, running after walking is really really hard for me. Actually there were times during the race that I wanted to start running a little faster, only to realize I still had almost a mile to go. I was just ready to be done. This is why 5Ks are good for me. Running for 40 minutes max. I get bored of things really easy. I just don't have the time for more than 40 minutes. I will say that the thought of running 5 miles does sound appealing...some day. Baby steps. Right now I am at a 12:30 mile. I'll work towards 12:00. I am cool with taking this all real slow. I don't want to hurt myself.

I was a little disappointed that I came in 24/25 in the 40-49 age group. This group of runners definitely seemed more seasoned.

My next run is on New Year's Day. I am not sure how much I will get to run in the next 3 weeks. I would like to get to do some more C25K and run at least one 5K - but with the holidays in full swing and work being crazy, which requires several middle of the night stints, it will be hard to establish a good rythym.

Eating....yeah, it is the holidays. I made it to WW again this week which is as much as I can ask for. I turned over my WW work to someone else (I was in charge with all the advertising to make sure we could keep the meeting going at work). A HUGE weight off my shoulders.

The fact that I am going to end this year at least 15 lbs, but most likely 18, lbs heavier than last year is extremely disappointing. I would love to be back down to 184 by March 17  but I have learned not to try to hit a weight by a date. It never, ever works.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Exercise - good, Eating - not so good

This weekend flew by! I wish it was next weekend so we can really get into the Christmas festivities. We don't get our tree until 2 weeks  before Christmas so that will be next weekend. Along with completely decorating our house. Right now we just have  a wreath, our card tree, and our 4, yes, 4, advent calendars.

This morning I got up to run. We had a birthday party to be at at 10, so I had to be running my 8 am. Which meant I needed to be up by 6:30 so I could eat something. It was 29 degree when I went out. I didn't want to overheat, so I just wore a thin fleece over my long sleeve shirt, but took off the fleece after my warm up.

I ran the whole 3.11 miles! This was the first time I had run the whole thing on my own. I ran it in 39:03. Definitely remember the feeling of pushing myself during the race helped keep me going. I was pooped all day though I only got the opportunity to sit down about 1/2 an hour ago!

Eating was not very good. This is why I can't lose weight while exercising. There was the cupcake at 11:30 at the birthday party, then we went to the birthday girl's house for lunch where I had 2 1/2 (or could it have even been 3 1/2!) pieces (albeit not real big) pieces of pizza and a beer (and lots of water). And then when we got home at 4:00, I ate a ton of Smart Food (they now have a 'movie theatre popcorn' flavor - yum!)

I am not sure what I will do this week for exercise since my next 5K is on Sunday. I may do something on Wednesday morning and that will be it before the race.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Day 2 and I didn't get up :(

This week has been really hectic.

Wednesday I took off from work and finished up my Christmas shopping (except for my parents - they are so hard to shop for!). I headed out at 8 am and brought my breakfast with me so I wouldn't buy anything bad. I got home at 12:30 and ate my normal 'if-I-were-at-work-lunch'.

Yesterday I worked until 1:00. Normally I would have worked from home but I wanted to go to the WW meeting. Then at 1:00 headed home for my first elementary school parent-teacher conference (she is doing fantastic - yeah!) and then was busy, busy until 10:30. I put out all my work out clothes for the morning but got into bed and just didn't want to go to sleep because I hadn't relaxed all evening. I ended up watching TV until after midnight! And then my 2 year old appeared at 3 am. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep and didn't get up to work out :(

Scale yesterday morning. 208.2 :(