Friday, December 31, 2010

2011: A Year Ahead

I am not one to make real resolutions – ie “I will lose X amount of weight” – those ones never work.

But I want to work on all the areas of my life that I mentioned yesterday hadn’t been great this year.

Weight Loss - I need to step this up if I am going to hit my initial goal of 149 in 2011. I need to track everything and work on my dinner consumption. I think 1.5 lbs per week is a realistic goal if I work on it

Exercise - Needs to happen – more on this tomorrow

Food - I want to eat more whole foods. I want to eat more variety. I want to eat less.

Work - I need to be 100% focused while I am work and put myself out there. I need to get back to working hard.

Husband - WE need to be a focus this year. We need to communicate better – we used to be so good at it before we had 2 kids. We need to have date lunches and date nights. We need to spend time together in our own home and away from it. And maybe even get away for a long weekend!


Kids - I need to learn to be more patient with them. I need to be more present in their lives instead of relying on my husband to do a lot of the entertaining while I do all the other things around the house. They are growing up so fast and I don’t want to miss it because I am too busy.


Hobbies - I need to find areas to focus on and I think it is going to be photography and sewing. The cake decorating can be put on hold (a good idea!) – I’ll scrapbook what I need to, but I always say I am going to go back and re-do it “some day”.

But overall, I want 2011 to be about living and enjoying. Not stressing, not planning, not organizing. Just living.

Happy Dance

I know it won't say that tomorrow, but I can't help but be happy. Though I will admit when I first woke up it said 190.0. One of the few mornings I got to go back to bed for a while, knowing I would probably have to pee again when I woke up :) But who cares! It was on July 27 that I first saw the scale say 199.8 and it was on August 30 that I last saw the scale say 200. So it has been a long 4-5 months in the 190s. Yes, I will see the 190s again but hopefully it will not be a whole month before I see them for the last time.

Today I am wearing a pair of overalls I haven't worn in 7-8 years. I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans just on a whim - I could actually button them but they were extremely uncomfortable. I am definitely thicker than I was before I had babies.

Yesterday's organizing was a complete success. I feel so much more calm this morning. One of the things I did was go through the 3 bins of my clothes I have in the attic. One of the bins I physically labeled "The
Hallelujah Box" - it contains a pair of Size 10 jeans, Size 8 jeans, 3 bikinis, 3 cute little t-shirts I used to live in. But before I can get to that box I have 2 more boxes to go through. The first one would be my honeymoon clothes/Size 14/Size L summer clothes. The next would be size 12 clothing. I don't have a ton of clothes left, but some nice pieces I would really love to fit into! There is one last box I have that has all my hiking/outdoor/work out clothes - They are mainly size L and M. In 2011 I will get to wear them!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

2010: A Year Passed

Honestly, 2010 has not been a great year. Not horrible by any means, but really not a stellar year in any areas of my life. I hate to complain when lots of people I know have been affected by serious illness this year.

I woke up on New Year’s Day, after a fun evening with my husband and then 3 year-old daughter, which included cheese AND chocolate fondue. New Year’s Eve in my book always has to have cheese fondue and some sort of chocolate. I stepped on the scale and it said 221.8. The highest I had ever seen it not pregnant or recently pregnant (my son was almost 10 months old at the time). Sure the weight was exaggerated by the food the night before, but not by much. The highest I had been while pregnant with my son was 231. I had seen the scale say 201 in August 2009. But, like with my daughter, I packed on 10-15 lbs quickly after weaning.

You would think that I would have gotten on the band wagon pretty quickly after that. No. According to my Excel sheet I keep of my weights, I did see 220 again on January 26th after having had Chinese food twice in one day. And then I didn’t step on the scale for another 2 months, even though Weight Watchers started a few weeks after the double-Chinese dipping. My weight was 219.4 according to the WW scale on 2/1/2010 which meant I was about 216 at home and I was still 216 when I re-committed myself after my son’s 1st birthday on 3/25/2010.

So I have managed to lose almost 30 lbs in 2010 which is a good thing in itself. But that is about the only really good thing of the year.

Just didn’t happen this year. I tried for a few weeks back in May to get on the treadmill but quickly developed plantar fasciitis. I tried again at Labor Day and did it diligently for 6 weeks, getting up at 5:30 am 4 days a week, in the dark. But then I got sick for a good month and I haven’t been back. I always seem to find something better to do. It just hasn’t been a priority, even though I fantasize about it daily.


Yes, I lost weight. But I eat the same thing every day and too much of it is processed. Dinners continue to be my area of struggle. For a while I was experimenting with different recipes, but the kids are in that “we don’t eat dinner” mode, so I have kind of given up. The result is we eat the same things over and over again. With WW's new plan, I am going to try to spice up my day foods as well as go back to some of the old favorite dinners I haven’t tried in a while, plus I have a long list of new ones I want to try.


Work has sucked the life out of me since July 1st when I found out my client was leaving. Not in 17 years of professional life have I ever just not wanted to be at work this much, and I like working. I was on the client for 8 years and was their star contact. They loved me, but they just didn’t love my company so went to a competitor. So for 3 months I was working on my old client and a new client, so I was able to learn some new things while still loving my job. But on October 1st, my client left, and since then I have been on 4 different projects, mainly at the same time. I feel like I am floundering on all projects and I don’t fit in anywhere. Thankfully I am moving onto one new project next week and hopefully I can grow this next year.


We’ve only been married for 5 ½ years, but this has definitely been the most “non-existent” year of our marriage. We’ve done our own thing, been in our own worlds, or dealing with the kids, but we have failed 100% to be connected to each other. We both agree that this needs to change in the New Year. Our kids are getting older – my son can more easily be with other people, so we are going to make a conscious effort to spend time together, even if that means just watching a movie together, without our computers in front of us


The first 6 months of the year were those times when you really can’t leave your toddler alone for a second because he can climb on the couch, but he’s going to fall off. He can climb the stairs but the chances of him falling are high. And at the same time I felt like I was so busy doing other things that I really didn’t connect with them as much as I would have liked.


Between working, having 2 kids, having an hour commute each way, and being responsible for 95% of everything in the house, I have very little time for myself. I have a lot of hobbies that I wish I had time to work on: photography, sewing, scrapbooking, cake decorating, among other things. All need practice. I have all the materials I need – it is just a matter of doing. I was doing great with my photography and then my son dropped my external drive in May and I lost 1 year’s worth of work. I think that was a big turning point down back in May because I was so discouraged and so mad at myself for allowing it to happen that I kind of stopped doing all the things I love. Writing this makes it sound like depression – maybe mildly. But it is more a relatively new mom trying to make time for work, kids, herself. I want to have time for the hobbies AND working out AND getting enough sleep. Somehow I’ll figure it out.

Like I said, not a horrible year. We have our health, we have our house, we have our jobs, we have our kids, and we have relative happiness. But I turned 40 this year and I want life to be more than just getting by and living day-to-day. But more about that tomorrow.

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 193.2
This Week: 190.6
Change: -2.6
Change Since 3/25/2010: -25.4

I've done better the last few days in terms of snacking - I did a major purge last night, though the Christmas candy does remain. I'll see if I can make it through today unscathed - I am home alone to do a major clean. I know I won't see 189.8 tomorrow, even if I eat well all day, but I might as well try, right?!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Hurry up today

I just want today to be over, well the work day. I am going to stop by Target on the way home and stock up on storage bins and then let the work begin! I am so eager to have everything in the house back in it's place so the New Year can begin! Sadly, to make room for the new toys, I have to remove some of my son's toys that are too baby-ish. I am going to go through the pile and figure out which ones I want to keep for posterity sake and what can be donated. I wish I wasn't the last of my friends to have kids, because it makes it that much harder to get rid of everything.

I ate fairy well yesterday. I was on plan all day at work. My husband was out again last night so I was on my own with the kids. I made myself TWO Lean Cuisines for dinner. One wasn't enough points and I just didn't trust myself to try to peice together other items to get more points without picking junk as well. I wasn't good with the vegetables though and the amount of sodium was horrendous, but it was a rare occasion. I did have to restrain myself after the kids went to bed - all the goodies and stocking candy is around and I didn't eat one thing. Not that I didn't want to! As a result I was 191.4 this morning.

Yesterday, the woman at work who has been coordinating the WW At Work program asked for someone else to take the reins and I volunteered. Our current session ends at the end of January. Hopefully we'll get enough people (at least 15) to keep going.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Challenging Days Continue

Today I had yet another unexpected day home with the kids (and the husband too) and an unexpected evening home alone with the kids - my parents weren't able to babysit due to the storm, so my husband got a friend to go to a concert with.

I had been down to 190.0 after the stomach bug, but I was back up to 191.2 this morning - yesterday was spent eating a lot of pasta and crackers. Today I started out well, but the stress of having too many feet under me, I broke into the Chex Mix and chocolate chip cookies. And dinner was pasta (too much) and nothing else - no veggies, no fruit, instead of the planned Lean Cuisine.

I feel like a Scrooge, but I took down all the Christmas decorations. I was going to wait until Wednesday night when we take down the tree, but since I was home, I figured I would take advantage of it. We took all the decorations, except the lights, off the tree as well. Now I can at least start to put my top floor back together and that will get me one step closer to being organized for January 1. I love Christmas, I really do. But once it is over, I am so ready for it to be over and to have my house be back to normal. Growing up we waited until January 1 to take everything down. No way. But in the future I do want to wait more until December 29th.

Thursday I will finish putting the house back together, go through all the cabinets and do a big purge of all the leftover sweets, make sure the work out equipment is in order, make sure all the kids stuff is in order, and try to have everything in it's place for January 1. Hopefully we won't be thrown off track on January 3rd like we were last year when my then-9 month old son ended up in the ER with a 105.0 fever and I took 3 of my 5 sick days within the first 10 days of the year.

I hate feeling this Type-A behavior, wanting the Christmas toys and decorations away as quickly as possible. But I do feel that January 1 is a clean slate and I am always eager for that to start as quickly as possible. Though next year my feelings may change. My daughter will be in school so it will be our first adventure into "school vacation" so I don't want to spend my vacation organizing and fretting - I expect that my husband and I will split the vacation, though I am hoping my parents will take her one day so I can still have my purge day.

Here's to hoping that the next 3 days can be better than the last 5.

Christmas Compare

The picture from last year was part of what made me really want to get my act together, though, I didn't start really until 3 months later, after my son's 1st birthday

Christmas 2009 - 221 lbs

Christmas 2010 - 191 lbs

Hmmm, wonder where I will be next Christmas?! I hope at 149 or lower, but I am not going to set a firm #/date deadline for myself. The title of my blog indicates I want to be Fit by 41 which is in August. Of course I would also like to be at my goal  by then. But that is too far enough. And anyways, goals for 2011 will be part of another post.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Unmerry Christmas

It had nothing to do with the comments my dad said - I would not allow him to ruin my Christmas for long. No, the stomach/intenstinal bug hit all of us yesterday. My husband stayed in bed until 3 pm while I managed present opening, all while feeling horrible and dealing with 2 sick kids. Then I was in bed for the rest of the day while my husband took over.

Any silver lining on this, I feel like going through the whole house and throwing out everything. I won't do it completely. But the leftovers from Christmas Eve will go and well as some other indulgences I really don't need around. I need to run out and get some shopping done - we are scheduled to get a blizzard. Ugh!

Friday, December 24, 2010

My father ruined my Christmas dinner

My parents have a big issue with me and my brother being overweight. We were never overweight as kids - both of us gained a lot of weight after we turned 30. But in the last 10 years my parents have lost weight (not that they needed to to begin with). My dad is the one who told me on Thanksgiving when I was 24 that I needed to lose weight - I was 139 lbs - yes I had gained 10 lbs in the last year. 5 days later I joined WW for the first time. My parents don't have any of our wedding pictures up because I know they are disappointed I weighed 184 when I got married. They couldn't believe that I showed my bare stomach during my maternity shots - obviously they didn't want any.

I will say my mom did tell my how proud she was of me when I told her I had hit the 25 lb mark.

So tonight, as my dad and I were plating the food for Christmas dinner, he asked me if the kids would actually eat anything. I was saying 'I wish I could be like them and just not eat anything at meals' and then he went on a 10 minute narration about how I need to lose weight and how he did and how easy it is and how you have to get through the plateaus.

I just stood their horrified. Christma Eve dinner is my favorite meal of the whole year. Thankfully I didn't actually let him ruin the meal for him, but I didn't really say anything to him for the rest of the night. I had seconds of dinner. I fully enjoyed the dessert I worked my heart out on. Oh yeah, and the red wine was my best friend.

Gotta love parents. And to top it off, he had no clue that he was hurting my feelings - and if he did, maybe he thought a holiday, my favorite holiday, would somehow all of a sudden make me drop 50 lbs in 3 months (and I say 50 lbs because I know once I hit 149 lbs there is no way that they will think it is enough)

But despite my father being an ass on Christmas Eve, I won't let it completely ruin my holiday.

Merry Christmas to all!

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.2
This Week: 193.2
Change: +3.0
Change Since 3/25/2010: -22.8

I am starting to worry about my scale as, except for one day at 193.4, it's been at 193.2 since Sunday - honestly I would have expected it to go up even more as I have not been very good this week. The homemade treats as well as the substantial nibbles and licks while making the goodies have definitely taken their toll. But I will move on from it. The holidays are for enjoying, just not going overboard.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Not the day I expected

My little one got sick in the middle of the night, so I've been up since 4 am, and my oldest did not want to go to school, so instead of having the day to myself to get a ton of stuff done (plus work), I was home with 2 kids. Ugh.

Yesterday I did pretty well despite TOM showing up - a few cookies early in the evening. This morning I was out of it so I didn't get a chance to weigh myself. It wasn't my best day. I definitely know that fatigue is a red flag for me - I very quickly fall off the wagon when I am really tired.

Right now I have meringues in the oven, cookie dough waiting to be cooked, and lasagna to put together for Saturday night (we have our big meal on Christmas Eve) and then tomorrow I have to make the dessert for tomorrow night.

I really don't need the cookies I am waiting to bake, but they are my MIL's molasses cookie recipe and since I am not doing gingerbread cookies this year, these cookies allow the house to smell like gingerbread and it is such a wonderful smell.

I am beyond excited for Christmas and not trying to think about my excitement for 2011 to see what it brings in terms of weigh-loss, exercise and overall good health.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

1 day closer to Christmas

I really am a Christmas nut. Okay, well, not really over the top, but I used to not sleep all night until I was 22 (and started working and could afford things on my own). And now that I have kids, and a kid that is old enough to start to get it, I find myself all excited all over again. What a wonderful feeling!

Yesterday I did pretty well all day until the kids went to bed. Then I found myself in the Christmas cookies and Chex Mix at 8:00 at night - I almost never, ever eat after dinner. I never really have. But they looked so good and I know most of the stuff will find itself in the trash next Tuesday night. So I got to enjoy some cookies and snax in the quiet of the house before I had to start wrapping.

The scale really hasn't moved up in the last 3 days, so I am still up 3 lbs for the week. Life goes on. TOM should be here today or tomorrow, so I know that helped contribute to the late night munching.

And I continue to be excited. Oh yeah, a coworker complimented me the other day on my weight loss. THAT was enough to make my week!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Another day down...

Was not the most successful of days. I woke up feeling extremely tired and a little hung-over (or I was coming down with a cold).  This feeling of ik had me ordering breakfast at work. I figured this would be the only time for a very, very long time and if I did it that day, then I would have the most amount of time before my end-of-the-year weigh-in. I was even tempted to order lunch, buy thankfully, the $20 I thought i had was not in my purse so I ate my normal lunch. But I was so frenzied at work in the afternoon I forgot to have my snack before I left and I was stressed driving home in the first snow of the year. I had seconds of my husband's chicken parm (yum!) and some Christmas cookies for dessert.

So not the best day and the scale creeped a little this morning for the 4th day. Trying to be okay today but doing that with the stress of the week AND PMS might prove to be difficult. I should be okay until I get home. I need to get my water in which has been severely lacking the last few days.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sunday's Challenging Day Done

The scale has steadily gone up the last 3 days to the tune of 3 lbs since Thursday.

We went to our friend's house for lunch - luckily the munchies (Chex Mix and chips/hummus) weren't too close by. Lunch was deli sandwiches and then the Christmas cookies were broken out. Maybe had a few too many :)

My parents came over and we really didn't have dinner - just 8 different appetizers over 2 hours and then Christmas cookies for dessert. Nothing really heavy and I didn't make too many of each. I felt a tad full, but it was fun.

Before they came, I ran out to the grocery store to get my staple Lean Cuisine pizza for lunches this week - I had purposefully not bought any thinking I could start the new WW this week. But I need consistency this week.

So here's to try to eating well until Christmas Eve. I need water. Lots and lots of water.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Another challenging day done...

I had a normal breakfast and brought a snack with me to my daughter's dance class since we had to go shopping. Though I did buy a box of whole wheat macaroni and cheese which I ate for lunch (impulse/hunger buy) - I did have a bunch of carrots and peaches for lunch as well.

I had a bunch of baking to do in the afternoon - I didn't nibble too much, but did some. I had a large snack before we left for our Christmas party. And I drank a large bottle of water on the hour drive their.

I could have been worse, could have been better at the party. I alternated between wine and water at the party. It was potluck and seemed to be food everywhere. And I found myself at a table with friends along with a jar of pretzel and chocolate clusters. Those were really, really good!

I knew I was going to wear one of 2 pairs of khakis to the party. Either my 16W which are nice and comfy and I like how they look on me better. Or the 16 which are a tiny, tad snug. The 16W were in the hamper. I feasibly could have pulled them out and ironed them, but I elected to wear the 16s. But I tried on a black turtleneck I hadn't worn in 3 years - I really can't pull off turtlenecks as I have a very short neck. Disappointed I pulled it off and put on another shirt. I definitely need to go shopping for more black shirts/tops, which are my staple, after the holidays.

Another extremely challenging food day tomorrow.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Friday check in

Yesterday we checked out the new Asian restaurant around the corner. I got a ginger salad to fill up some on greens. I also ordered water which I have been doing so well with. But I still did my normal 3 plates I do at chinese buffets - the first is always fake sushi. The second is appetizers. The third is normal meals. But none of the plates are overflowing - they are little plates. But I still had that too full feeling because I am just not used to eating so much. But a year ago I wouldn't have felt full at all. For dinner we fed the kids and just picked at leftovers ourselves.

Today we did go out to lunch with the kids. No soda. But I did get an appetizer. We skipped the dessert that came with our meal.

After lunch I went grocery shopping for the next 10 days. Bought way too much cheese - But I can eat just a little of each. I also brought my new WW calculator to figure out the points for somethings I have in the freezer, but no longer have packaging for (hot dog rolls, lavish bread, etc.)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 193.4
This Week: 190.2
Change: -3.2
Total Since 3/25/2010: -25.8

So close but no cigar on seeing 189.8. But that is okay. My goal just is to see it before 12/31.

Yesterday I ended up getting Smart Food from the vending machine because I was so hungry - It was 4 points, which isn't too bad. I had to work late so I came home to dinner waiting for me on the counter and I have to inhale it before giving the kids their bath. I did eat too fast so I still felt hungry afterwards. The Chex Mix I haven't touched since Saturday was staring at me but I resisted. I drank a lot of water - I usually do anyways, but extra water has really been helping me lately.

But this is the beginning of a potentially challenging week
-Today my husband and I are trying out the new Asian restaurant around the corner - they have a buffet at lunch. Could be bad, could be easier because I can have 1 crab rangoon, not the 6-8 if we ordered take out.
-Dinner will be disorganized, so I'll make myself a lot of veggies and only one helping of pasta salad
-Tomorrow we are all taking the day off - we are planning to get to the Mall early to see Santa. That is good. A later time could result in ending up at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch
-Saturday night is a Christmas party at our friends - I plan on holding water in my hand the whole night and not standing too close to the food table
-Sunday morning we are visiting friends - again, I am going to try to avoid munching on food as we all hover around the kitchen island which we normally do
-Sunday my parents are supposed to come over for appetizers (which will be our dinner) - It may snow so they might not. I could make so many appetizers - I love them! But I will try to be in control
-We'll do some baking this weekend - 3 kinds of cookies. I will refrain from batter or eating too many cookies

Then come Monday morning I should be able to be on course until Christmas Eve. I am going to enjoy the next week but everything needs to be in moderation.

So I do not expect to see a loss in week, especially since it will be TOM. But I'll try for a maintenance.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Forgotten Cereal

My life is so routine. I bring the same thing to work every day to eat (well, I have been. That will be most likely changing soon). I have a little routine of how I pack everything up the night before. I have some like quirks. 3 things remain on the counter: my 8 oz coke, my fruit cup and my cereal. The cereal and fruit cup don't need to be refrigerated, but could be. But the coke - in the past, what I found is that if I put it in the fridge the night before, then I would be more tempted to drink it as soon as I got to work. So at least now it is cold (okay, cool, because it's been in a cooler bag with frozen and refrigerated items) But warm enough psychologically that I wouldn't drink it)

The cereal I measure out the 3/4 cup into a tupperware container. I use the container for a couple of days before washing it. So last night I threw it in the general area of where I make my lunch. It wasn't until I got to work this morning that I realized that I forgot to fill it last night! Agh! So 3 points of of my 29 left at home. My morning crunch (and crutch - I don't drink coffee in the morning, well ever, except in the form of ice cream). I immediately started thinking about what I could eat from the cafeteria for 3 points. I scoured my purse for a Fiber One bar. Nothing. So I went without. Ugh. It is 11:30 - I've had my yogurt, I've had my morning snack, and I am counting the minutes until 12:00 when I can eat lunch.

And the reason for this insanity? Tomorrow I have the day off so I won't be here for WW anyways. But. This morning the scale said 190.4. If I am really good today, maybe, just maybe, the scale could say 189.8 tomorrow. I doubt it. But I am not going to sabotage it by getting a bagel in the caf, or god forbid the world's best breakfast sandwich.

I will make up those 3 points sometime today though - I don't want to be starving. There is too much yummy pasta salad at home for me to get home starving. So even if i have to grab something from the vending machine (I just couldn't do it at 8:30 am), I'll make sure I eat my points.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Even more spring!

Only .6 to get to where I was pre-vacation. I can do it!

It is sad that a number on the scale can affect my mood so much. But I learn I have to get on that scale every single morning. Otherwise I just don't mind the inspiration to eat well during the day. And I actually get giddy as I am going to bed if I think the scale will show a loss the next day. I know I've said this before, but eventually the weight won't come off as quickly (if I actually do the work, the weight has been steady, but since I am not very good at dinner time, it hasn't been as steady).

I spent a considerable amount of time yesterday trying to formulate new meals

This is my current meals and their new WW points
3/4 cup Kashi (3)
Yogurt (2)

Fruit cup (0)
Cheese stick (1)

Carrots (0)
Lean Cuisine Deluxe Pizza (9)
(8 oz regular coke (3) - this goes against my extra points)

Vitatop (3)
Fiber One Yogurt (1)

This only leaves me 10 points for dinner, which is not enough

So I am going to aim for the following to reach my 29 points
Breakfast (5)
Snack (1)
Lunch (8)
Snack (3)
Dinner (12)

So my breakfast and first snack can stay the same - may add some fruit to breakfast

Lunch is the biggest change - I can cut a chunk out of my pizza, which I was doing earlier in the fall, to make it 8 pts instead of nine. But we are also trying to cut back on our finances this coming year to save for a new house, so I figure instead of spending the $4 per pizza, I could also make sandwhiches, etc. So I figured out 8 point lunchs for PB&J, Egg Salad, Chicken Salad, Pasta Salad, Ham and Cheese, Turkey and Cheese, Pasta, etc. I've always brought processed foods for lunches, so this will be the biggest challenge.

And the afternoon snack has to change as well. I don't want to use a whole vitatop as my snack - I also need to fit in another dairy into my day (I don't think the 1 cheese stick counts towards a serving of dairy) So I came up with some other options as well for only 3 points.

And finally I went through all our most common staple meals and determined how much I can have for 12 points.

So all this said and done, I am not sure when I will actually put it into place. Maybe next week. We'll see. I'll get some of the items I need at the grocery store this week.

I can do this, I can do this. I want to see the scale say 18# very badly!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Spring coming back in my step?

One, the scale was good this morning. 192.6 so only 1.8 to lose to get back to where I was pre-vacation. I think it is doable. Of course TOM will be here in a little over a week, but hopefully that won't derail my plans. It will arrive right in time for Christmas (how are we so close to Christmas already?!).

But the spring in my step also has to do with the fact that I devoted a large chunk of time yesterday to ready all the new Weight Watchers material and figuring out the new points for all my favorite foods.

I have never been one to track my dinners, which I know has been a downfall in the last year. So the changes in points for those items didn't really affect me that much. It is the point changes in my breakfast/lunch/2 snack meals that need to be played with. If I kept eating what I've been eating, I would only have 10 points left for dinner, when I really should have 13 according to WW (and seeing that dinner is the one meal I have issues with, I should have as many points as I can!)

Oh yeah, and I am loving the "free fruit" - My 21 month old son loves to tell me he wants a banana, then takes 2 bites and hands it to me. So now I no longer have to waste it. I can eat it and not feel guilty. Yeah!!!

So the plan is to eat well Monday - Wednesday and then evaluate where I am. I am scheduled to have Thursday and Friday off, which could be lunches and/or dinners out and then 3 holiday gatherings over the weekend! Yikes. I will admit, all of that makes me nervous even thinking about it. But I will visualize everything before I go and try to to de-rail myself completely.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Better today....until dinner

I did pretty well during the day - I kept looking at the Chex Mix but didn't have any. I stuck to my normal weekday food plan. I did have some hunger pangs during the day. I also was bored during the day - it was a chilly, rainy day so we were shut in. But I refused to let boredom (or a timeout from the kids!) derail my plans. So in that respect I am happy.

For dinner I made my famous chili (beef, sausage, beans). But I also tried to make latkes (potato pancakes) for the first time. Friend's of ours always has a holiday party during Hannakah but we missed it because we were in Disney. They always make Latkes, which we love, and we've been talking about making them ourselves for years.

I only had 3 of them - I could have had 10! I did have a second helping of chili (along with more cheese and sour cream, both full-fat) I really didn't need it. I didn't finish it though. I had that really full feeling while eating it, which made me not feel so good. I hate that feeling.

I am pulling the stew and the homemade macaroni and cheese off the holiday time menu this year. 2 less dinners where I know I would probably overeat. As I see it now, even getting back to 191 by December 31st could potentially be in jeapordy, so any help I can get.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Need to nip it in the butt on December 12th

I think I am already rethinking my food plans for the next 3 weeks to pull back some.

Last night I made Chex Mix which my husband loves at this time of year. And I found myself aimlessly eating way too much of it today. And then I found myself grazing as a whole. I also made our favorite pasta salad and I had 3 helpings. Yikes. That is what happens when I make the foods I absolutely love. I eat too much. I am not 193.4, for the most part, because I eat a lot of junk food. I am this weight because I eat too much. I want to have the foods I love this holiday season, but I need to just have them in a smaller quantity and between those meals, I need to eat smaller dinners. Eating too much for dinner has been what has prevented me from losing more than 30 lbs this year (not that 30 lbs is anything to sneeze at). But if I am going to lose more than 30 next year, I need to do better at dinner.

On a good note, I ran into a friend yesterday whom I hadn't seen since my son's 1st birthday party (a week after the party I really began my weight loss, weighing at 216) and she went on and on about how great I looked - she was basing it solely on my face as I was bundled under scarves and a winter coat. It made me feel on cloud 9.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Holiday Plan

I went through last night and did menu planning for the next 3 weeks to make sure that we had time to fit in all the holiday favorites - It all will be a big test for me, because I don't want to be deprived so it will be a test of portion control.

We have nothing for the next week, so I have time to flush out the system and feel good. We had tacos last night, which notoriously is a meal where I have seconds, which I did. Add the black olives and the scale wasn't pretty this morning. But it kept me in check and prevented me from ordering breakfast at work this morning, since this is a rare Friday I am in the office.

Chocolate chip cookies
Gingerbread Men (for Santa)
Raspberry thumbprints with white chocolate
Chex Mix
Buche de Noel for Christmas Eve
Chocolate Charlotte for New Year's Eve

Saturday Dec 18th - Xmas Party
Sunday Dec 19th - Xmas playdate/lunch with friends
Sunday Dec 19th - Appetizer dinner with family
Christmas Eve at my parents - Beef tenderloin, potatoes, broccoli, yorkshire pudding
New Year's Eve at home - Salad, cheese fondue (my seriously once-a-year guilty pleasure), dessert

Meals to test myself
Homemade Mac and Cheese
Take out Chinese (I can't remember the last time we had it)
Christmas Eve (my favorite meal of the year)
New Year's Eve (my second favorite meal of the year)

But all of this is in a period of 3 weeks - that is 21 dinners, 21 lunches and 21 breakfasts - So it really is a small percent of the meals and there is no reason for me not to eat well all the other meals.

If I can get back to 191 by next Thursday, maybe, just maybe, I could get to 189 by December 31st. But I am not going to stress about it.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.8
This Week: 193.4
Change: +2.6

I was actually 192.0 the day I left for Disney, but even if that was water weight, 2.5 lb gain isn't that bad. Hopefully I can lose it again by next Thursday. I don't have any holiday obligations this weekend, so it should be doable.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Not so bad...

The scale said 194.0 this morning. I was pleasantly surprised. But I still feel very squishy because after having my kids, all the weight goes straight to my stomach and it doesn't bode well for my self-esteem (I am always convinced that everyone will think I am pregnant again)

So after a nice quiet lunch with my husband today, I'll be back on the wagon. I can't wait.

I can't wait to get back to exercising. My son is getting a cold and I hope I don't catch it this time like I did in October when I was sick for 3 1/2 weeks and I haven't exercised since.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Home and dreading the scale

Our trip to Disney was wonderful - a bit stressful traveling with a 21 month old and a 4 year old, crazy, not relaxing, exhausting, but fun.

But the eating part was not fun. We had booked 3 character meals and those were rushed and the kids were going bonkers, so we just kind of shoveled in the food. And the result was probably 3-4 times this trip I had a serious bellyache. I am not used to eating much and I definitely over-did it. But even if I had had the time to pick out the healthiest thing on the menu, there wasn't a ton of healthy things to pick from.

But on a good note, I brought granola bars and ate those as snacks. We didn't have any Disney snacks at all. We used all our snack credits towards water, and milk and bananas for the kids.

We did drink water (I only got soda one meals) but no where near as much as I normally do, so dehydration contributed to my discomfort. That and being "backed up" (sorry, TMI) from lack of veggies and fruit.

But I am home, tomorrow is another day. I am not working and will go grocery shopping. I will get on the scale tomorrow, and will probably be horrified but hopefully it doesn't say above 200. And move on.

Oh yeah, in reviewing the pictures quickly from the trip, I am not happy with my stomach at all. The bloat is definitely eviden and I hate that it makes me look 5 months pregnant. Ugh.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 192.4
This Week: 190.8
Change: -1.6
Total Since 3/25/2010: -25.2

I made my official weigh-in one day early since we are leaving so early tomorrow. Plus I went to a WW meeting at a center today (opposed to At Work) so I could learn about the new plan since I am going to miss my meeting tomorrow.

I was hoping to be under 190 before we went on our trip. Oh well. But I move on.

I like the sound of the new WW plan - when I have to time to wrap my arms around it I'll embrace it. I am all about eating less processed foods if I can.

But for now it is all about the foods on vacation. I am going to practice my visualization techniques before we go do I don't completely splurge on the couple buffets, desserts, and bread baskets.