Thursday, April 28, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Ugh. 194.0

But partially in my defense I decided to have something with dinner last night that I love but don't usually eat anymore because of what it does to the scale - black olives. Yum, yum.

I did still put on my WW dress this morning intending to go, but my 10:30 meeting ran 1 hour too long so I missed the WW meeting completely.

But I did do I good thing (I hope!) I pulled out my WW 3-month tracker and I am going to start tracking again. I have to. The only way to do it. Obviously stepping on the scale every day isn't preventing it from continuously going up over the last 3 months. So this is the only thing I can do.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter has come and gone, thankfully...

All of the candy that my husband got me for Easter has been left in the work kitchen and hopefully will be gone by lunch. But I did indulge myself some over the weekend but today is a new day.

The scale this morning showed exactly a 7 lb gain since January 27th - I NEED to get back until 190 again. So today is the day it all starts again. No excuses this time.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

An amazing dream!

After I was done with my early-morning work stuff, I had the luxury of going back to sleep from 6-9:30. During which I had an amazing dream. I had a dream I was running a cross-country 1/2 marathon. By cross-country I mean in the woods/off the beaten path. Not a 1/2 marathon on a course with thousands of other people - no thank you! But it was also a scavenger hunt in you didn't know where you were going next - you would run from point A to point B, then be told where to go next. The only thing was in the dream I didn't have a Garmin so I didn't actually know how far I was going! (I wonder if this has anything to do with me 1) getting a car GPS for the first time this week and 2) wondering if I should get a Garmin so if I were to take walks/runs I'd know where/how far I was going. Though I think I can use my iphone for that - need to look.

But the best part of the dream was at the start of the race where it was straight up a mountain - all the other women who were runners, not hikers like I used to be, took off too fast and very quickly starting walking, while I paced myself straight up the mountain. It goes back to how amazing I felt training to hike Mt Rainier and how amazing I felt hiking the mountain. Hiking and other things are how I've gotten my runners high in the past. Part of me definitely wishers I could be a runner or wanted to be a runner, but it doesn't seem to be my thing and my body has not taken to running in the past. I can strap a 40 lb pack on my back and hike 10 miles, but putting on running shoes and running 1 mile. My knees have said - no thank you!

I want to get moving - I really do. I've got to do it, I've got to do it, I've got to do it.

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.4
This Week: 192.4
Change: +2.0

Ugh. I've always told myself that by weighing in every day I wouldn't let myself gain more than 5 lbs. But since my lowest was 185.4 a few months ago, here I am at 7 lbs. I tell myself it is time to do something different. But it is hard. Life is very, very hard right now. Work is so stressful that I barely have time to breathe at work (hence me not posting the weigh-in for 2 days....oh yeah, I've been up since 4 am this Saturday because I have work to do between 4 and 6). And then home dealing with our new schedule and new budget and new everything. I am on the verge of panic attacks.

I've said it before, I don't do well with change. Once the change has happened and a routine is established, I can get back into a groove and do well. But with life in-flux, it is so hard for me.

Another thing that happened in the last week is I set a weekly menu of all foods I love (and my kids hate) so I really went over the deep end of eating too much for dinners (to the tune of eating off their plates!). This week I had my husband plan the menus - not that he'll make food I don't like, but I am hoping that it will help me eat less. And I need to make sure he makes enough vegetables - he continues to make as much for the whole family that I would eat on my own.

Need to drink water! I've been pretty good getting in 80 oz, but I would like to get in 100 - I need to drink a bottle after dinner.

And lastly, I need to write here more! It is a hard time and I need to be more accountable.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Shopping at a new grocery store

Because of our changed financial situation I am now shopping at a different grocery store - wow - $40-$50 savings a week! But they don't have all of the same stuff as my old store. So I've had the dilemma of - do I find a replacement or spend the extra money on a few items to get what I need. I have decided to do the later for the most part. My motto always has been that money is no object when it comes to losing weight. And while money means something very different now, it does still apply. My new store does not have the Raisin Kashi Good Friends. I tried buying the original last week and it is just not the same, not even when I add my own raisins. So I will go back to the cereal I love - just hopefully I can get it when it is on sale! This morning was part of the reason why - I just wasn't in the mood for that cereal so I didn't bring my breakfast to work (this was made easier by the fact that I am going out to lunch with a friend, so I just didn't bring any food to work) - Instead I got a breakfast sandwich AND a yogurt parfait. Ugh (but so yummy)

I really am struggling to get back in the groove. I so easily go thrown off track when my schedule changes and we've had some major changes in the last few weeks. I hate been thrown off so easily - I am just not an easily adaptable person. Once I get used to the new routine I am golden, but getting used to it, I really struggle.

My pile of Size 16 capris and shorts still sit on my dresser, where they have been for the last week. I don't want to try them on. TOM definitely doesn't help (that and our one day of 80 degree weather was all we had - It was 33 degrees this morning when I woke up - So there is less incentive to try them on).

When I am feeling better I will also try on some size L shirts. Most of my XLs are bordering on too big, but I don't think the L will fit right. Since I had my kid, "the girls" are definitely larger than they were (and larger than I would like - hopefully they will disappear with the weight loss), so while the shirts fit up top and in the arms, they tend to be too short and show the tummy that I never had until I had my second child.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.8
This Week: 190.4
Change: -0.4

Not the right week of the month to expect a loss, plus the last week has just been extremely stressful and large adjustments.

But I am hoping that the next week should be a little bit more calm (non-workwise) so I hopefully can make a dent in losing the 5 lbs I've gained in the last couple of months.

I am going to WW this week even though I am up from where I was 2 weeks ago when I last went to WW.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Made it through one day....

I ate well all day yesterday and it felt so wonderful! It was not without challenges though. After dinner, where I ate a normal portion, not my as-of-late large portions/seconds. I was still hungry though and everything looked so wonderful in the refrigerator. I so easily could have grabbed a bowl of yummy pasta salad, or early Easter candy, or anything. But I knew I wasn't really hungry. So I forced myself not to have anything.

I made sure I got all my water in too. I backtracked steps as I was leaving the building to fill up my water bottle (20 oz) so I could drink it on the way home.

I lay out my work out clothes and went to bed at 10:30, alarm set. But my daughter came in at 1:00, as she has been doing lately, and I could not fall back asleep. Literally I tossed and turned for the rest of the night. Part of it was because it was 60 degrees out and warm in our house, even with the windows open (yeah!) but mainly it was because of work stresss. Ugh! Needless to say, around 3 am I turned off my alarm and turned on the 6:15 am one instead.

Baby steps.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I think I can, I think I can....

I think it is time to get back on track. I am sitting here at work staring at 4 bags of Pepperidge Farm cookies a co-worker brought in, and I am not taking a bite. Not a nibble. I am sticking to my guns and only eating what I brought in. And it feels good!

I know that with minor changes the first 2-3 pounds will come off quickly (which will be good because that will get me back below 190) but I need to be very diligent and get back to 85 degrees where I was a couple of months ago. If I can be 184 by my 6th anniversary on May 21st, then I will be thrilled.

I was pretty depressed yesterday - Today was supposed to be 185 which meant I broke out the capris to try on and I hated how they all fit. I had been so close to throwing them away in December because they are size 16 and I figured I would be so far out of them come spring. Thankfully I held onto them (but hopefully I will be out of them by the end of the summer).

Today is the start of a whole new schedule for my family - my husband is now on kid-duty 3 days a week (either 1 kid or both), I am driving his car to work, and we're buying our food at a new place which will require me to go shopping after work on Thursdays (the alternatives are either 1) for my husband to drive 30 minutes each way to go shopping or 2) buy expensive food like we are currently doing) By doing this we'll be saving at least $25 per week.

I tell myself I am going to go to bed early tonight and get up and walk. Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

Last Week: 190.0
This Week: 190.8
Change: +.8

This week continued to be a stressful week. Stress due to work is one thing. My husband being out of work is a whole other story. But I can't blame it all on that because this pattern has been going on pretty much for the last 2 months.

I get frustrated and sad when I feel that I haven't learned anything if I am letting stressors affect my life like this. But at the same time it isn't like I've abandoned weight-loss/healthy living all together. If I had I would be feeling really down. I get on the scale each morning and I haven't been eating a lot of junk. I am not eating more meals, except for a couple of post-kids-in-bed desserts around my son's birthday. My issues really are nibbling and too big dinners.

So what is the plan? (I do have a plan!) Tomorrow is mine and my hubands's organization day - I am taking the day off, we're cleaning the house, we're getting our affairs in order, and Daddy Daycare starts on Monday. And with those affairs, means me getting up in the morning to work out. I will be starting from scratch with walking on the treadmill, but that is okay.

While I am having mini-anxiety attacks, I am excited for this new chapter of our lives. I am eager to be healthy in all aspects of our lives and this bump along the road will make us financially healthier and will make our marriage better as well.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'd be okay if it wasn't for dinner....

I can go through the day completely okay - and I love the foods I eat before 6 pm so it's not like I feel deprived. But my dinners continue to be too large and the scale does not say nice things because of it.

I am hoping to start waking up early in the next few days so I can get on the treadmill. I need to. I need to. I need to.

Monday, April 4, 2011

So much for the 180s....

I did something last night that I haven't done in a very, very long time and I am not proud at all. Around 8:30 I made this incredible Israeli couscous dish for dinner tonight - I only make it a couple times a year and it is so yummy. But I found myself eating almost 1/2 the dish last night. Yep, right out of the bowl.

And I am feeling it this morning. I woke up bloated (and of course the scale was way up), feeling starving because I was dehydrated. All those horrible feelings that I haven't felt in so long because I usually don't eat after 6 pm.

I tell myself it is the stress. I know it is. With my husband now home, it is one of those top 10 stressors we face in life. I had a complete anxiety attack on Saturday after figuring out our budget - We are okay for at least the next 5 months which is a lot better than we could be - I know people that can't survive a month, a week even. And I know being on a strict budget will be good for us over all. But it did send me into a tailspin on Saturday.

But I am going to just keep trucking. Keep weighing myself. And try to get moving - That is key I know. Gotta do it. Starting next Monday is when our routine completely changes and I've got to get back into the habit of going to bed early to get up and at least walk on the treadmill - I know the exercise will be good for all of this stress.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Back in the 180s....

Barely, but I was very happy to see that this morning.

Yesterday I did do fairly well - We had a baby shower for a co-worker and I did have 1 piece of cake, but stopped at that, even though the rest of the cake sat behind me for the rest of the afternoon.

I had a hair appointment after work so I didn't get home until after the family had eaten - they were having hot dogs, so elected to eat leftovers instead. I choice to not have any dessert.

I am working from home today as there is 6 inches of heavy, wet snow outside - Happy April Fool's Day to us! Since my husband is home now, we went to the grocery store together and spent a long time going through the aisles, so 1 I could show him what I normally buy since he'll be doing the shopping now and 2, so we could compare prices - We usually don't by store brand at all, but we are now! I was surprised how much lower our bill was! But there are some things I won't skimp on if it means the cheaper version is less healthy.

I was thrilled that our cart was still full of vegetables, and as we get into summer, all the local fruits and veggies will be so much more inexpensive. I can't wait!