Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Clothes shopping

I haven't liked going clothing shopping in a long time - probably since I got married over 5 years ago. Even then I didn't like shopping too much because I was shopping for size 14 and L shirts. Now I can dream about fitting into those clothes again. I had so much fun because for the first time in my life I was shopping for girly clothes. Cute little numbers to wear for my bachelorette weekend, for our wedding weekend, and most important, for our honeymoon in Hawaii.

But sadly those clothes didn't fit for long. I think I was 184 lbs when I got married. By the time I got pregnant 6 months later I was 206. I think I was back in the size 16 pants, but quickly had to put on size 18 before going to maternity clothing.

Now, at 199.4 (yeah for seeing less than 200 again!), I am a size 18W, teetering on a size 16W. I can't wait to throw away all the size 18s. I recently donated all my IX shirts (which never really fit me well anyways). I want to dive through the 16s and get back to the 14s. But who knows when that will happen because of the baby-shifting-fatness. Of course exercise would help. I know it would!

Ever since I had to wear suits back in my mid-20s, I've usually dressed as casually as I can get away with at work. Even when I was thin, button-up shirts were never comfortable to me. I prefer v-neck collar-less shirts. Or even dresses (but I don't wear them now because I feel like they look like maternity dresses).

But as we look for clothing this weekend for our whole entire family, I am going to attempt to buy some pieces that are a little more dressy. I am starting to feel better about myself, slowly, and since I don't have to worry about spit-up anymore, I think it is time to step it up a notch with my work attire. But sometimes that is easier said than done.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Arms of steel

I've always had a liking for arms - a guy can be kind of squishy in the rest of his body, but if he has a nice set of arms. Yum. Not huge bodybuilding kind, but strong.

And for me, even at my thinnest, I don't have long, thin legs. I kind of have tree-trunks. I never really had a stomach until I had my second child. But I used to have amazing arms (okay, not Michelle Obama amazing, but ones I was pretty proud of). But unfortunately when you have had amazing arms and then you just stop rock climbing and stop rowing and stop strength training and decide to let yourself go because you'd rather eat a second dinner at 10 pm with your then new boyfriend (but eventual future-husband)...you then don't have amazing arms. They are so far from amazing that I hate them almost more than my legs.

Over the weekend me and my father had the unfortunate task of having to canoe across a large pond as fast as we could to come to the aid of 2 friend who had capsized their canoe. They weren't really in any danger, but we still went as fast as we could. It was exhilerating. And using my arms for something besides carrying a 26 lb 18-month old was fantastic. I miss rowing and I miss rock climbing and I miss strength training. I miss having amazing arms. I hope that when I do get around to starting all of those things again (I think I better start with the strength training!) that I will again be able to have amazing looking arms. Not just strong arms underneath a lot of bat-wings.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

6 Months In

I am officially at 6 months of being pseudo-dedicated on WW. Which isn't saying much since I've only lost 15.4 lbs. Time to really get dedicated if I am hoping to make my goal of 149 by March 25, 2010. With 51.4 lbs to lose in 6 months, it doesn't really seem doable. But I can do so much more to lose weight. Okay, there is a ton I can do!

The 2 biggest things I need to do are:
1) Exercise
2) Track my dinners - Right now I am at 24-25 points and I usually have about 9-10 left for dinner, but I haven't been paying attention to the points of dinner foods and probably have been eating way too much.

Right now I do use some of my extra 35 points - I have an 8 oz regular coke every day for lunch (2 pts each), so that alone is 10-14 of the points. I also do eat my exercise points, when I did exercise. Because I exercise early in the morning I have to eat something when I am done, because otherwise I don't eat breakfast until 9 am - 2 1/2 hours later.

My goals for this week:
1) Drink more water - I am usually really good about water, but I've been so busy my usual 100+ oz a day hasn't been happening
2) Eat more vegetables - the more vegetables and fruit I eat, the less "backed up" I am, and the better I feel overall
3) Survive the weekend with my parents and my kids without going crazy

Weigh-in: 200.6
Hope for next week: 199.0

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Spring in my step is coming back....

I look back at my weight-loss journal from the day I recorded my lowest weight to date: 197.2 on Friday, August 6th. The day before Ellie's birthday. I was convinced that I was going to make my 10% the next Thursday. I was going to conquer her birthday with no weight-gain, just like I had with Dan's, 2 weeks prior. But then her party ended up being more stressful, especially with Jack being sick, then going to the beach, another day off. But I still didn't get above 200.0. I was dangerously close though. Then I made the mistake....

While driving back to to work on August 11th, I decided to get lunch at Fresh City. I had my normal lunch next to me in the car. I hadn't had my mid-morning snack yet. I was starving. I did have to get off the highway to go. And when I go, I don't usually just get the burrito grande, I get a salad as well. According to their calorie postings in the restaurant, together it was around a 1,000 calorie lunch.

So a slip-up for lunch? But I also had had a stomach thing going on - I knew I wasn't pregnant, but healthy food just made me feel so nauceous, so for about 10 days I couldn't eat any fruits or veggies. I was eating pasta and potatoes. I felt bloated and pudgey, and gross. But I have also forced myself to get on the scale every single morning, even when dinner the night before included a cup of olives. The highest I have seen in this slip-up is 203.4.

But I think I am back on track. I was 201.0 this morning and the spring is getting back in my step. Not as much as it would be if the scale said 199.8, but still. I can feel it. I stopped myself from snacking last night while I was making dinner. I am looking forward to the big salad I will make for dinner to go with my hotdog and fries. I will get on the scale tomorrow at WW, even though the last time I got on it there I was 3 lbs less. But that is okay. I am on my way back.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Finally Forty!

I am feeling okay about it. I would be feeling better if I hadn't been on a downward spiral for the last 2 1/2 weeks. But I am feeling better prepared this week and hopefully within a week I will be back below that coveted 200.0 mark.

I am breathing a sigh of relief at the annual '3-IN-3' is finally over. 3 birthdays in 3 weeks. My husband's, my daughter's, and mine. He and I agreed that next year, he and I would get 6 cupcakes for our birthdays and my daughter (who turned 4 this year) will have a real cake. I like cake....every once in a while. We are definitely burnt out from cake this year.

I don't feel the spring in my step I did 2 1/2 weeks ago when I thought I may have made my 10% this past week (instead I chose not to get weighed in, though I did attend our At Work meeting). I have felt sluggish and gross. I want that spring back! It is such a high!

But one thing I did do was put all my IX shirts in the 'To Be Donated' pile. I hadn't worn them out of the house for a while. They were left over from the 'I am pregnant but don't want to wear maternity shirts yet' and the 'My boobs are still so big from nursing that XL shirts won't fit yet'. Despite having weaned in November, it wasn't until June that I could fit back into XL shirts. The IX shirts have been PJ tops or lounge-around-the-house shirts. But I don't like how they look on me so off they went.

I armed myself well for my husband working late again this week. Last week I was unprepared for how much he'd be home late, so I ditched the planned menus, made the kids 'kiddie food' and ate what I wanted each night for dinner. But this week I bought some Lean Cuisines so I can eat at the same time the kids are and no eating after 6:30 pm.

The birthday is over. Fall is around the corner. Time to get back on the bandwagon. My 10% and the shortly there after my 25 lb charm are not far away. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Only 4 more days of my 30s.....

Up until 10 days ago I was doing so well - I had visions of getting my 10% ring this coming Thursday, the day before my 40th birthday. But now I am struggling and need to get back until 200.

Am I trying to sabotage myself? Is the thought of getting to goal freaking me out because then it will mean - what do I do now? Or did I freak out thinking, 24 lbs down and still almost 50 to go and that seems so overwhelming?

Tracking and being organized are so incredibly important to me. Without them I quickly fall apart. My tracker for the last week is empty except for my daily weight (which is a good thing - often I would have not weighed myself if I had eaten badly and before I knew it I would have gained 10 lbs).

I hate this feeling though. 10 days ago I was walking around with confidence. I felt thin. But the last 10 days has brought a lot of bloating, a lot of uncomfortable feeling, a lot of headaches (from too little water). No fun.

But today is Monday. Another day. As of 3:52 pm I have done well today. But getting home is the hard part - nibbling while making dinner can be my downfall.

I will track. I will track. I will track.