Monday, July 11, 2011

Scared to get on the scale

I am so terrified because I am afraid it is going to start with a 2. Last week it was 198.0 but I still just can't get back on track, so I am scared. And work is going really badly so I am back to where I was a while back, afraid that if I get on the scale and won't like what it says then the whole day with stink. But I've just got to do it.

I feel a little liberated though. For the past 18 months I have been the moderator for a weight loss challenge on a message board I am part of. It was great for the first year - I was motivated. But once the scale started going up and up and up, I stopped doing a good job of updating the site because I didn't want to go there because the scale was going up. So I asked someone else to take the reins - I hope I will now be able to go there often as a participant, that is it.

We are entering a month a poor eating so trying to get back until 190 by Labor Day will be hard (so much for being at goal by my 41st birthday like I had hoped 11 months ago). We've got 3 out of our 4 birthdays, plus 2 vacation, no make that 3, before now and Labor Day. Throw in a ton, ton, ton of work. But I'll try my best. But for now, I've just got to concentrate on staying under 200 and then getting under 195. But right now, I've just got to get the scale going in the opposite direction. A Gain 13 lbs in 4 1/2 months is NOT good!!!!

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