Back at this in 2023

 Let's try this again...

I'm going to go back and do a quick re-cap of April - December 2022 at some point, but I just want to get it out there now where things stand mid-way through January 2023.

After my last post in early April 2022 I got COVID - Not badly at all thankfully, but it really stalled my weight loss so by the time I went for my physical in mid-July I was still the same weight - low 260s (which was still better than the 272 I 1st saw on 2/19/22 and the doctor saw in mid-March).

The good news is now I am about 241. So a loss of 31 pounds since February/March 2022. The bad news is:

1) I've been gaining/losing the same 3-4 lbs since the beginning of November

2) After losing 30 lbs, I've been diagnosed with high blood pressure. Go figure! So for the 1st time in my life I am on medications for something weight related. But I've been under a lot of stress (work, raising teenagers) but I could also have to be on the medication forever like my mom who is 84 and a twig. I don't know if it is weight related, it could be brought on my menopause/perimenopause (I haven't hit the year yet - I've got chunks of 4-5-almost 6 months without) but either way, it is a fact of life right now. And the doctor threw an anti-anxiety medication at me too, though I am not sure it is helping. 

This picture is from late September when I was about 250 and trying on clothes I would like to take with me to Europe this spring. It's hard to get excited about clothes when you look 20 months pregnant.

This is from December - back on my favorite rail trail, walking this time, not running. But running will come. But probably not until after my hernia surgery.

I saw the surgeon in October and he was thrilled with my progress and though perhaps I'd be able to have surgery before getting to a BMI of 80-85 because he could tell my stomach is hernia, not a lot of weight, so I am a good candidate for not having to wait so long. But because I will want to have a tummy tuck at the same time, I may still wait. A lot will have to do with how the hernia looks when I've lost another 20-30 pounds because right now it doesn't seem like it's changed at all - I've lost weight all around it.

I have an appointment with him in April, then will probably do another in October and see where I am. I also have a lot of things to consider about the timing and the possibility of being laid up for a long time - my daughter will graduate high school in June 2024 so there is a lot of events before than and after that that I was to be present for. And then when she does go away to college, I will lose my help in terms of another driver, as we will have a year + where she is gone before our son gets his license. But that is the least of my worries. 

But now it is time to get back to losing weight. I am so desperate to be 239, my pre-pandemic weight, which was still 7 lbs higher than my highest ever/non-pregnant weight. I was close on Thanksgiving Day, at 240.4 but between figuring out my medication (I don't think it is the actual medication that is preventing me, it's the stress of being on the medication) and the holidays, I've stalled. But time to kick it up a notch.

I've always said that I don't do well with time constraints (lose X by Y day) - It usually backfires in a dramatic fashion. So just 1 day at a time, trying to work towards 1.4 lbs a week. Sure I'd like to do more, but I also want to live my life and make this sustainable.

But this week I am really leaning it to do what I need to do to jump start me into the 230s for the first time since March 2020.

4/9/2022 Weigh In

Starting Weight: 272.0 (2/19/2022)
Last Week: 263.6
This Week: 262.2
This Week Change: -1.4
Total Change: -9.9

Of course I am excited about a loss. But I can't help but thinking that the weight should be just melting off at this stage. But I know at my age and 1900 calories a day it's not going to, but slow and steady wins the race.

What was I successful with this week

• Weighing every day
• Tracking in MFP
• Staying within my calorie limits
• Avoiding processed foods (cookies, cake, ice cream, candy - I did have a few crackers with hummus)

What I could have done better with

• We had 3 Blue Apron meals and their sodium content was very high and by mistake we got the 4 serving ones (my kids don't eat them) and it was harder to stay on track
• Complete lack of movement - Maybe getting 3500 steps in a day - I'm not not moving because of mobility issues, it's due to a busy, at desk job
• No variety of food during the day
• Not enough vegetables

What I plan on doing this week

• Cooking meals - no Blue Apron
• More vegetables
• More water - I am pretty good, but I think I can do more
• Proactively add in steps

What I am doing this time

  I know this is not going to be easy. Needing to lose 90 pounds just to be out of the Obese category is extremely daunting. Throw in that I am not over 50 and somewhere hovering between perimenopausal and menopausal. And the pandemic stress and the moody teenagers haven't gone away. The one thing that has gotten better is the financial stress. A "positive" of the pandemic is that we were able to save a lot of money so we have a cushion we didn't have 2 years ago.

And also what is different this time is I am doing this primarily for health, not vanity. I need my A1C to come down, I need my blood pressure to come down, I want my cholesterol numbers to reverse. I don't want to go on medication for any of it if I don't have to.

The surgeon was hoping I'd be down 15-20 lbs by the time I see him. The weight he had was 271 - he didn't weigh me, he was going off of the weight at my physical which was done mid-day and she didn't take any pounds away because of my clothing. Next time, 1st thing in the morning, wearing a flowy dress!

So I would love to be 250. In the past I've never, ever, ever done well with "Lose X pounds by Y date" - I am usually the opposite.

So the immediate changes I am doing

*Weigh myself every day - this is the #1 thing that has always worked for me in the past. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it does for me

*Track using My Fitness Pal - I had tracking. In the past I've had success just writing the items I've eaten in a journal, but not really weighing and measuring. But that won't fly this time. I have my calories at 1900 (which is a 1.5 lb loss a week). There is definitely wiggle room with that number, but I am not feeling deprived.

*Since I love pasta, I've cut out all-white pasta and have been have a mixture of plant based, whole grain, and whole wheat. I have between 3-4 oz at a time

*Since blood sugar is so important here, I'm really trying to cut out processed foods. Lean Cuisine pizzas that I relied on so much for YEARS have been thrown away so they aren't even around in emergencies

So how am I doing......

So many doctors.....

 Let's recap:

*After being in the low 230s (and into the 220s) for 5+ years, by the end of 2019, as I was training for a 1/2 Marathon, my weight started to creep up, By the time the pandemic hit I was 239.

*At my physical in July 2020 I was 255 and my blood pressure was showing signs of being high and what I now know is a hernia was starting to effect my quality of life

*The pandemic did not end, life got more stressful with everyone still at home, overall pandemic stress, worrying about job loss (one of which worry did come true), moody teenagers, my weight got up to 272.0.

*Besides having my physical in July 2020 and my annual mammogram, I was overdue for my GYN (I was supposed to have it in April 2020 and by the time they were seeing patients again my doctor had moved away) and my colonoscopy (after I had mine in November 2018 my doctor moved to a new practice too far away

This is my hernia - Looking 20 months pregnant......

So last fall I decided it was time to start using the pandemic as an excuse for not seeing doctors and not taking care of myself. While my weight was stabilized, the hernia (or whatever - I didn't know what it was at that time) was making losing weight difficult. Or perhaps that was just my excuse. In the past, if I ate well for 1 week, I could noticeably see my stomach deflate some. Now that wasn't the case.

So I scheduled my colonoscopy and endoscopy for early March.

I had a physical planned for January but they moved it to June.

I found a new GYN and had an appointment in mid-February. And I emailed my primary and asked to be squeezed in before June and to order my blood work.

The GYN was pretty sure it was a hernia but scheduled a CAT scan which revealed it was a hernia (and thankfully not lots of other cancers it possibly could be).

The colonoscopy revealed 3 polyps, pre-cancerous, back in 3 years. Not fantastic news, but not the worst news. The endoscopy revealed nothing new so that doesn't need to be repeated next time! Even after all of the prep, I still looked 20 months pregnant (I didn't lose as much weight during the prep as I did last time, though my prep was "adequate")

My bloodwork revealed good kidney and thyroid function, okay cholesterol (numbers all within the normal range but I'd personally like to get my HDL and LDLs going to better directions) and my A1C right at 5.7 which is the very beginning of pre-diabetes, which obviously is not good. And my blood pressure was sky high at the doctor, but was able to be brought down, but still not fantastic.

My primary had me make an appointment with a surgeon about the hernia, and while he was very nice, he said I can't have the surgery until my BMI is at least 35 but preferably 30. So between 180 and 200 lbs. Yikes. But a good swift kick in the pants.

I have an appointment with my primary in June to have more bloodwork done and I have an appointment with the surgeon in July as a check-in (he said I could check in at 3 months, 6 months, or not at all. Sign me up for 3 months!)

So I've got some, lots of incentive here, to finally start getting back on track.

Painting Mishap and Weight Gain

 I was struggling before the pandemic even started. I hadn't gotten into a groove working at home and being around my kitchen all day wasn't helping. I started the pandemic at almost 240 lbs, almost 10 lbs higher than I had been 9 months pregnant with my son (10 lbs less than 9 months pregnant with my daughter).

I immediately felt completely stressed by the pandemic. I had anxiety and panic attacks which I never had. I hoarded food like crazy, I was terrified of getting covid, worried that being obese and not knowing if I had high blood pressure or diabetes and what that could mean. I bought tons of comfort food. Within a month I was no longer wearing jeans "to work" but wore comfy clothes (because the rest of my family was....and my clothes were getting a little tight).

I had my physical in July and I was 255 lbs. I said I wanted a weight and blood pressure check (because my BP was a little elevated, first time ever) a month later but I blew it off after I got home from the doctor and saw that the nurse had written my weight as 245 not 255 and my BP wasn't right either. I told myself I would re-schedule the appointment when I got below 245. This was when we thought the pandemic would be over by the end of the summer.

But then I had something new to panic about. My client was going away and I was at serious risk of losing my job at the end of September and being in IT my husband's job isn't always secure and our bank account was pretty low and we heard companies were laying off people without severance and that trying to get unemployment was a full-time job because so many people were out of work. So I was completely panicked about our finances. I handle all of our finances. Needless to say the scale wasn't going down, it was going up. I can't remember when I actually stepped on the scale and it was 270.

In the spring of 2020 I was still trying to be somewhat active. Not needing to get kids out the door allowed me time to go for a walk in the morning. But then the painting happened.....

Even before the pandemic the plan was to re-do the kids' room. In March right before everything shut down we got their closets professionally done. But I couldn't get a painter in, so I decided to do it myself. Despite the picture of my daughter painting, she painted about the size of the blue - I did all the rest. My husband doesn't paint (he does a lot of wonderful things, but not paint). 

After 4 days of prepping and painting my abs were killing me. A lot. I joked to myself about using muscles I wasn't used to. The muscular pain went away but all of a sudden I was looking 20 months pregnant. I had my physical a couple of weeks later and she told me to work with a PT to strengthen my core, but I knew it was something more.

After that I pretty much stopped exercising and stopped going out a lot because I hated feeling/looking so pregnant. And it got worse as time went on. Both physically and mentally.

We did get this in March 2021. I used it for about 6 weeks and then not again. I do love it. I just have to get into the routine.

Next post will be where am I now.....

2021 Quick Recap

 Before we knew it is was 2021 - we were approaching a year. My kids went back into the classroom in October 2020, but only 2 days a week. Remote school was not my kids' friend. My husband unexpectedly lost his job in February 2021, but the year was not lost.

First of all, this was a wonderful way to start the year.

More day trips to Maine - 

Once I was vaccinated I felt more comfortable staying in a hotel and me and my son went to Upstate New York to the Baseball Hall of Fame and Corning Glass Museum.

My husband took a ferry trip to an island off the coast of Maine.

I took an overnight by myself to Maine

My daughter and I did an overnight to NYC for Mother's Day

We got to go to a Bar Mitzvah in June

My son got to go to overnight camp for a month (and was fully vaccinated before he went which was wonderful)

We didn't feel comfortable booking a vacation by plane and I didn't want to just rent a house again so we did a 2 week roadtrip around the Great Lakes and checked a bunch off our bucket list - I had never been to Chicago or Niagara Falls

We rented a cabin in Northern Maine over Columbus Day weekend

And actually left the country for Thanksgiving to drive to Quebec City

And had a pretty much Christmas

Despite my husband losing his job in February he got a much better one in April - in an office, in our town! So the 3rd week of April the rest of my family left the house full time!!!!!!

2020: Quick Recap

I can't believe it's been over 2 years since I've posted. So much has happened, both in the world, and here at home. I can't fully re-cap more than 2 years, but I need to get some things out so I can keep moving forward.

Where was I? It was February 2020. I was struggling. My daughter and I had traveled to Disney World in January. In February the rest of my family went skiing in Vermont while I got 5 glorious days to myself. Never could I have imagined it would be the last extended time I would be alone in the house for over 14 months.

The last day my kids were in school was Wednesday March 11. They shut our district 2 days early because 2 parents were complaining of feeling ill. The kids and teachers never got to go back to to get their things. Since both kids were moving up schools they didn't get to say good-bye to those schools. They would not step inside a school until October.

On March 18 we had to say good-bye to this little guy. He was almost 15 but had kidney disease and had been declining. He had been waking us up to feed him and his sister for years and after he was gone we joked that we would to sleep in. No, a month after he was gone, his sister took over, but since she is deaf, she meows really loudly and we haven't slept through the night in 2 years.

So after dreaming about working from home permanently, all of a sudden everyone was home. But I quickly found refuge on the weekends with road trips. I think I am one of the few that put 4,000 miles on my car in 2020.

We went to all the New England states, but went to Maine a lot. Like 16 times. The border is only an hour away. It was a wonderful escape. We rent a house in Maine for a week in August (after having to cancel our planned (and booked!) trip to Southern California.

We didn't see our relatives much in 2020. I think I saw my mom only 4 times. Her retirement community was pretty locked down and I was so worried about infecting her. It was very sad to celebrate milestones without them.

In May we celebrated 15 years - we recreated our favorite steakhouse meal at home and the kids served us!

It was wonderful to get away and being able to take pictures because being home so much was definitely very difficult. I will touch upon all the stresses and how I handled it in a separate post.

Thank goodness February is over!

You've got to know I am struggling when I don't post. February started out so well and the collapsed.

The one good thing about February was the weather - while it was chilly sometimes, we really didn't have any snow and the 14 day forecast for the first half of March is showing higher than regular temperatures.

This was taken last Monday when it was 61 degrees - It had been 20s and 30s over the weekend and was predicted to be cold this past weekend, so I couldn't resist getting out at lunch time for one trip around the reservoir.

My activity has started to pick up in the last week. I've walked some on the treadmill, did one morning of Beach Body Upper Fix. Yesterday, even though it was chilly, me and my husband did 2 laps around the reservoir and this morning I walked on the treadmill for 1.75 miles (at 3.0/3.1 and 3.2 mph).

But the eating, the eating is pretty out of control. I finally weighed myself yesterday 239.8 :( I am awaiting my monthly visitor but not waiting for it to come in order to make changes.

Baby steps, so this month I am going to concentrate on:

1) Drinking my water
2) Getting up more at work
3) Exercising at 7:20 am
4) Tracking my food
5) Daily weigh ins (didn't do it today :( )
6) Lights out at 10 pm

Now that I am WFH full-time I need to get into a routine (okay, it's been 3 1/2 months....of which I have gained almost 10 lbs). I am going into the pantry too often and eating crap in there.  So I am thinking of creating a rule for myself that I don't go into the pantry at all until it is time to make dinner, which would mean that every morning when I am getting ready, I would pull out anything in there that i would need - for instance my Shakeology powder, or spices or tuna fish or PB. For the most part I eat out of the fridge/freezer so wouldn't need to pull out much. Plus it would force me to think about in advance what I was going to have to eat like I did when I went into the office.

We will see how it goes!

A week of struggles

The work week started out SO well! I was thrilled with my work outs on Monday and Tuesday. But the rest of Tuesday I felt like I was dying.

I don't know exactly what I did to pull muscles in my upper abdomen. Tuesday they hurt so badly. They were swollen and protruding. I felt 12 months pregnant. I wondered if I had a hernia. I couldn't really eat because expanding my stomach hurt, but since Aunt Flo had also arrived on Tuesday (3 days early, thanks perimenopause) I also had cramps and lack of food made my stomach growl. Overall a bad day.

Finally I got into bed at 6:00 pm, yes, 6:00. I thought I would be uncomfortable and have a hard time sleeping (not that I was trying to sleep at 6:00) but lying down fixed everything. My abs didn't have to work so even before I went to bed everything was back to normal. Very freaky.

The weather the rest of the week has been pretty blah - snow and rain and freezing rain. I haven't worked out the rest of the week. But I am okay with that. Can't expect to go from 0 to 7 workouts in a week.

Friday was supposed to be my day to take a Peloton class but then I remember I needed to take my cat to the vet so wouldn't have time to also shower so skipped the workout.....But then I postponed the vet appointment because the weather is still crappy - slushy, foggy, raining but almost freezing rain, and the route to the vet is normally busy anyways, throw in bad weather and it was not something I would want on a miserable Friday.

Eating....not been great this week. I skipped any meal prep on Sunday in lieu of Super Bowl food prep. Most of the Super Bowl food was thrown away Sunday night but some lingered into Monday - perhaps lingered a bit too much into my stomach (hello brownies and cupcakes)

Then we really had no snack food at all until last night when I got some for the rest of the family. We are on a tight budget right now - but wow, junk food is expensive!

I haven't weighed myself at all this week, but I am going to work my hardest to have a "normal" pre-WW day today. It's only 9:20 am. Is it 5:00 yet???!!

Weekend: WW and a Run

Happy 3rd of February - The day everyone seems to be dragging a little bit even if you didn't have anything invested in the game.

I had a great weekend and already wishing it was Friday. Last week was such an insanely long week and I was pretty busy over the weekend so not a ton of time to relax.

Saturday morning I went to Weight Watchers. I was 238.4 at home and 240.0 there :( But that is just the starting point!

The rest of Saturday was spent doing housework. Mainly re-organizing our pantry which is desperately needed. While I didn't do any organized exercise, I was moving a lot. I did end up at Bertucci's with my daughter where I had 2 rolls, salad, spaghetti with meat sauce.


Sunday morning I slept in until 7:30 and did my first run since November 22nd. 3 miles on my favorite rail trail. It was a little slippery with black ice and I was going slow anyways (hello, 238.4 lbs, hello no run since November 22nd) But it felt fantastic. I wasn't thrilled with my pace but it is just the start.

The rest of Sunday was spent doing chores and getting ready for the Superbowl. I could have eaten worse, I could have eaten better:

Drink - 1 cranberry juice with seltzer and lime juice (no alcohol)

Eat: 2 cupcakes and 2 brownies, 1 mozzarella still, few chips and salsa and guacamole, couple chicken wings, buffalo chicken dip with veggies, 2 stuffed jalapenos.

In my effort to move my body every day at 7:20, today was a day to try yoga. While most people do their long run on Saturdays, I do mine on Sundays so Monday is a considered my rest day. But I want to try to do yoga and stretch and move my body in ways I am not used to.

I tried Day 1 of Beach Body's 3 Week Yoga Retreat. I modified quite a bit but it felt really good.

It is almost noon and I have posted this. The day isn't going so great. I had Shakeology for breakfast, but the leftover brownies have been calling my name :( Tomorrow is trash day - While we haven't thrown everything away, I hope to do it tonight.

Spring is next month!

Thursday was for practice

I've definitely learned that with starting a new healthy routine you just can't start all at once. While my list of what I want to do to have a healthy life is long, I know they all can't be done perfectly every day.

Just putting on workout clothes Thursday morning when I woke up was a good change. After dropping of Kid #1 at school I walked on the treadmill for a mile (3.0, so 20 minutes) while listening to a Half Size Me podcast. I listened to these for 2 months last year and they really helped me - hearing people's stories are very inspirational.

I had breakfast at 10:00 - 2 vanilla Greek yogurt with blueberries and 1/2 a cup of granola - too much breakfast but I was measuring it - easing into it.

Work was pretty busy and I was in meetings from 10:00-12:30 so no walking breaks. I had leftover spaghetti with marinara sauce and cheese - probably too much and I ate it in front of the computer since I had a few hours of stuff to catch up on.

I only got 1 other walk break in and it was 10 minutes. And then the day went downhill from there. More meetings and work all afternoon. No walk breaks, no snack.

At 5:00 I went grocery shopping on an empty stomach - not the best idea. Seeing that it is Super Bowl weekend I was already buying some not-so-healthy eats for Sunday dinner and picked up 2 bags of Popcorn chips.

Dinner at 6:30 was a Lean Cuisine pizza....and then TWO bowls of chips :(

Days aren't perfect but today is a new day.

AND TOMORROW JANUARY IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January From Hell

Like everyone, January feels like it is a million years long. It is by far my least favorite month of the year.  One and a half days to go and it is time to celebrate February. I always buy myself flowers over Super Bowl weekend. While New England has had lots to celebrate 4 out of the last 5 Super Bowls, I will admit it is kind of nice not having to stress about it and enjoy.

So like many people I had lots of intentions at the beginning of the year. I worked out on the first 3 days of the year. I tracked for the first 4 days of the year. And then nothing, nothing at all...except too much stressing and too much eating. The stress is work and living with a 13 year old.

I did have some fun. From the 8th to the 12th I went to Florida where I originally was supposed to run a Half Marathon, but do to illness, weather, work and the holidays I wasn't able to train above 8 miles. I haven't run since November 22nd. I am not upset I didn't get to run the Half Marathon. Our trip was fabulous, except for looking at the pictures of myself. The race would have been awful - It was incredibly hot. It was 74 degrees at the start of the race at 5:30 am. Instead we walked 13.1 miles our first full day and went to all four parks in one day. The other 3 days were a little more relaxing but still a lot of fun.

But life since we got back hasn't been a lot of fun. Thirteen years old is no fun and it stresses me out.

But I've got to take care of myself. In 15 weeks I am back to Orlando for a 50th birthday party and I can not look or feel the way I do now. So now I am under the gun and I usually do not react well to that.

I will confess I did something "bad" - I was supposed to have my physical in 3 weeks and I just moved it July!

So this is what I plan on doing
1) Going to WW on Saturday - no waiting until I lose the 5-6 lbs I've gained since November
2) Walk breaks at work - listen to Half Size Me Podcasts and wear my Fit Bit
3) Drink my water
4) Track my food
5) Exercise at 7:20 am even if just walking on the treadmill
6) To bed by 10:15/Up at 6:15
7) Menu plan/Food prep - cook my way through everything in our pantry/freezer
8) Weigh myself every day

My exclusions are small
A) Don't drink my calories (I actually went into the office 3 days this week and bought my lunch every day which included a regular Coke) - I don't drink much alcohol but I am okay having none for the next 15 weeks.
B) Stay away from processed foods - they are such a trigger - I've eaten way too much of that crap this month because I allowed it in the house. The kids are cranky when I don't buy much and I am sick of cranky so I buy it but then I don't stay away from it so then I am cranky! I don't know what is worse, them cranky or me!

Money is tight these days - Christmas will be paid off with payday tomorrow! But we've already put $ on the credit card for upcoming trips. So not eating out is a good thing! And even reducing our weekly grocery bill, which is usually $250, will be a huge help.

I want to get outside more. We have no snow right now, which is great, but us in New England know not to get too complacent, because February and March are often when we get pounded with storms.

Now I just need to get through today and tomorrow and then it is the weekend and February!!!!!!

Starting the year out alright

Well, the first thing I did this year wasn't great. I went to bed at 10:00 on New Year's Eve - I just don't feel the need to stay up past my bedtime, especially when I worked all day Tuesday and need to be at work on Thursday. I had when rotating holidays are on Wednesdays! I decided on a whim to step on the scale. It was horrible, horrendous. 239.6. The last time I weighed myself, a few weeks ago, was 232. I wanted to cry. But just one piece of data. I had eaten a lot of frozen appetizers the night before (to clean out the freezer) and the Christmas candy has been staring at me from my work space. It has either been eaten, throw out, or moved so I have a fresh view from my kitchen island.

Like last year I started the year out with a walk around the reservoir. Last year it was in the 50s and no snow so I got in 2 laps and made plans to get trail running shoes and eventually run it which I did! This year there was a couple of inches of snow and ice so one lap took 45 minutes so I stuck to just one. But got in 5,000 steps in the process.

After my walk I went to the grocery store to get a few things. I have decided that I am going to try to photograph every thing I eat to try to keep myself accountable. Not that I am going to post everything. I had taken a picture of my oatmeal before I ate it so it was prettier, but while I was eating "breakfast" I found an app that records the timestamp so I tried that out with my half eaten meal.

I made a soup that my mom used to make for Christmas day - I had some leftover pancetta to use up but I had too much meat and the soup was just too salty so the rest may get thrown away. Some people sware by soups but I doubt - I feel like the saltiness, even when I use low sodium broth, just makes me feel bloated.

In the afternoon I jumped on the treadmill for 5 minutes to get my steps to 10K.

I asked my husband to make his chicken parm for dinner. Since I am not in the habit of photographing dinner, of course I didn't. And.....I had three helpings :(  I went into the meal way too hungry and his parm is so good (full of garlic). I should have stopped with 2 helpings. Okay, I should have stopped with one. We did have a salad as well (and I purposefully forgot to tell him I bought garlic bread) so it wasn't all bad. Of course I made the salad because he usually doesn't include vegetables with his meal planning.

I did something new last night - I left my phone downstairs. I never used to sleep with my phone next to my bed until about 5 years ago when I started running at 5 am and wanted to know before I got downstairs if people had bailed (which ended up being more often than not so I stopped trying to meet up with people). It really is such a time sucker and everything I read says you shouldn't be exposed to the phone light right before bed. I got into bed around 7:00 and read books - no phone, no tv. It was wonderful.

When I started working from home I realized I could work out between getting kid #1 to school and either dropping kid #2 at the bus stop or driving him to school, but due to the work project I hadn't been able to do it. But I decided to give it a try today.

I turned on the original 21 Day Fix - Total Body Cardio Fix. I was able to get it done, get my son into the car to drive to the bus stop (he can't really walk since the sidewalks are covered in snow and ice), and then jump into a quick shower before sitting down at my computer.

Of course I am procrastinating working by writing this - while it may feel like a Monday to some, it really is a Thursday, so we just have to get through 2 days!

Looking ahead to 2020

The title of this blog is "Getting Fit Again in my 40s" but in mid-August I will no longer be in my 40s. But I am going to spend the next 7 1/2 months feeling more fit, even if the scale doesn't reflect it.

While I am disappointed about not running my half marathon, I am by no means giving up running. But I am going to concentrate on 5-7 miles max and enjoy it and push myself. But I am not going to jump into those distances not having run since the 3rd week in November.

So this is what I want 2020 to look like:

1) Beachbody workouts
2) Spinning videos on our bike in the basement
3) Walking on the treadmill during the day
4) Stretching and yoga
5) Getting my water in
6) Sleeping from 10:00 pm - 6:00 am
7) Not drinking my calories (except Shakeology)
8) Eating a variety of foods - less sugar, smaller portions, more fruits and vegetables
9) Post more to be accountable
10) Get back to WW
11) Find someone to be accountable to each day

What you don't see above is a number - Numbers in time never work for me. Yes, I need, need, need to be under 220 for the first time in 5+ years (and I'll hope for way more than that) but the scale isn't a top priority right now (even with going back to WW after I go to Disney).

I also want to
A) Get outside more - hiking, walking, taking pictures, just enjoying not being inside
B) Work on my camera skills
C) Watch none or less Hallmark movies - they suck the time away - if I am going to watch TV (which I want to watch less of), I have a list of movies and shows to watch
D) Read more books (my problem is I so easily fall asleep while reading!)
E) Use what I own more - craft supplies, books, kitchen foods and gadgets, hiking/outdoors supplies


What do I have in store for 2020? Actually not a lot.

We all have milestones - I am turning 50, me and my husband will be celebrating 15 years, my daughter will be finishing middle school and heading to high school, my son will be finishing elementary school and starting middle school (my brother will celebrate 55 and my parents would have celebrated 60 years).

I have one concrete trip to Disney coming up in January, one hopeful trip to Disney in May to celebrate a 50th birthday of a friend from high school, a trip to California as our family summer vacation, hopefully some time away with my husband while the kids are at camp, perhaps a road trip with my son, and hopefully a weekend away in December to celebrate Christmas activities in Vermont.

I have no races planned, no hikes that we will definitely do (though I do want to do some), no big things to look forward too (the trips will be fun but nothing compared to our kid-less trip to Wyoming this year). So it is a good year to be - To enjoy life, to make some positive changes that can last a lifetime. But I need to come up with things to occupy my evenings - I don't want to just mindlessly play on my phone or watch tv. I can't really do photography in my house, in the dark. I like to write stories so I may get myself a new laptop so I can sit in bed and write. And I want to not just sit around on the weekends but yet we don't want to spend a lot of money - 2019 was a little hard on the pocketbooks.

Feeling good, mind, body and soul - That is my motto for 2020.

Bye Bye 2019, Hello 2020

Today is the last day of 2019 - I am so ready to start a new decade, if that means bringing on a new decade of age.

I don't know how much I weigh today but if I guess it is what I weighed a year ago. I am not thrilled with that, but most of that is due to lack of activity at the end of the year. For the most part I was active in 2019.

I started out the year with a warm walk around the reservoir.

I did lots of Beach Body in the beginning of the year - I was very good at getting up at 5:30 am and working out. I also walked 10K steps every day for the first 6 weeks of the year.

I tried to get out along the reservoir as much as I could during the winter, even in the snow

I started out the year at WW and lost 10 pounds very quickly....unfortunately the 10 lbs did not stay off

I dunked my feet in fountains on our family trip to Virginia/DC in April.

I hiked with part of the family (and solo)

I even did 1 20-mile bike ride to commemorate 20 years at my company

I got in lots of runs (more on that later), even in the heat

The trail is still my church - I find such peace there

Me and the husband took a much awaited trip to Wyoming without the kids

I got to dunk my feet in snow in July

I ran my 10K in Rhode Island in October

And I got in so beautiful runs on the trail, topping out at 8 miles (more on that later)

And then came November 22nd. And I haven't run since.

In 2019 I ran 59 times for a total of 215.0 miles.

I planned on doing a 1/2 marathon in January in 10 days, but once Thanksgiving hit, due to exhaustion and illness I didn't run over Thanksgiving weekend. And then it snowed 18 inches and while the snow didn't last, holiday obligations and work obligations and holiday stress and holiday excitement and work stress took over and I didn't run in December. There were a couple of times i wanted to but it was like 5 degrees and I didn't want to run the risk of getting sick. But I am not giving up running!

My body has not felt good in December - all the holiday stuff and work stress will do that do me. But tomorrow is another month, another year, another decade. Time to do better, but what "better" means is for a different post!

Quick Check In: No running and more

So yeah, the last time I posted was Friday November 22nd, the last time I went running. That being said, obviously there is no way that my Half Marathon is going to happen, but I am okay with that.

But what have I been doing since November 22nd (sorry no pictures, I've pulled them off my phone and I am too busy at work to retrieve them off my computer)

--Saturday November 23rd I went to NYC for the day by myself. I saw Christmas decorations being put up, I went to the Tenement Museum, I strolled for 14 miles.

--I originally was going to do 9 miles the day before Thanksgiving but work has been so incredibly busy, I wasn't able to go into work late. Thanksgiving was fine - not my favorite holiday. Despite me eating pretty well, I woke up incredibly dehydrated on Friday and it was only 18 degrees so the 9 miles didn't happen. My husband and I drove to Maine for the day on Saturday - so 9 miles didn't happen then either. And then Sunday it was about 5 degrees and I wasn't feeling great, so 9 miles didn't happen then either. I figured I was okay to do 10 miles the next weekend, but....

--Monday and Tuesday it snowed 18 inches. The kids didn't have school for 2 days. It was cold. I was working my butt off. I had zero motivation to try to run in the cold and with snowbanks. I was waiting for my period so I was feeling really off.

--Saturday December 7 there was still tons of snow and I had shopping to do and I think it was this day that I officially declared to myself that the Half Marathon wasn't going to happen. Sunday December 8th I took my daughter to NYC for the day (yes, trip #2 in 2 weeks) to meet up with friends. While I didn't walk 14 miles, it was still a fun, long, tiring day.

--I've been working from 7:30 am to 5:30 pm every work day for the past month and this week isn't going to be any different.

--This past weekend my daughter had a party Friday night and into Saturday where we did some Christmas activities, Saturday I finished ALMOST all of my shopping and wrapping and Sunday I officially did finish both! I had hoped to get in a run on Sunday, just because I MISS it! But it was the only day I could sleep in for the foreseeable future and I had been up in the middle of the night stressing about work. And it was good I didn't go because it was so incredibly windy!

--Sunday I did step on the scale for the first time in forever. 232.6. While yesterday was full of holiday cheer and this coming weekend will be as well, that doesn't mean that this whole week will be a free-for-all even though we have TONS of junk food in the house.

--I will be back after Christmas to recap our festivities and then talk about getting on track, because for me, getting on track starts on December 26th. While I am still going to Disney, just not running, there are 2 weeks between Christmas and our trip and I want to jump start my healthy new year, not wait until after we get back because it will be almost mid-January by that time.

Nothing this week except 8 miles

After a fantastic week last week, this week was a big dud.

I started out last Saturday going to my WW meeting and learning about the new program. I was 230.4 Saturday morning.....And I haven't weighed myself since.

We went out Saturday night to the Melting Pot for my mom's birthday - I was going to try to be good, but went too hungry - I had 3 alcoholic drinks, 4 courses. I drank a lot of water as well, but woke up Sunday feeling so dehydrated.

I had a productive Sunday and did some food prep - cooked whole wheat pasta and sweet potatoes and hard boiled eggs. But really didn't eat well during the week. Work continued to be crazy so I was starting work at 8 am and not getting my work out in. I didn't track. I didn't wear my FitBit, I didn't get in steps. I may have been okay with my water.

What I did do was run 8 miles this morning. I ran incredibly, incredibly slowly. And it was 45 degrees and I was a little overdressed and it was humid so my water went more quickly. But it is done.

Originally I was going to do 9 miles this coming Wednesday, but work is too busy and I always do a second grocery store run the day before Thanksgiving to get the perishables. So I will be doing the 9 miles on Friday. That will help me curb things a bit on Thanksgiving. I don't love Thanksgiving food, but this will be extra incentive to keep my plate to one helping.

And the reason for my Friday run this week? I get to see this tomorrow!

And the week to come? I am not making crazy promises.
-I will have some treats tomorrow but will also try to get in some extra water and I will walk a lot even after my 8 miles today
-Sunday is my big grocery store run so we are in the process of getting stuff out of the fridge to make room for all the holiday stuff, so my normal food haul will be small
-I will get in a run on Monday or Tuesday
-Lots of water, less grazing
-Get on the scale at least once

First work week at home/tracking/WW

Let's start backwards with today before getting into the rest of the week.

I had 7 miles on my training plan and decided to do them today instead of Saturday. I want to get to my WW meeting and then have plans after it and there is no way I am going to go running mid-day on a Saturday. Plus it is only supposed to be a high of 32 tomorrow. Though it was about 25 degrees today when I ran (that is ice on the stream in the picture) I woke up at 5:30 am and drove to my favorite rail trail and nailed out 7 miles, getting home and showered before a 9:45 meetingn. Not very fast - average of 14:07 per mile, but I got it done with no walking. I haven't run 7 miles of just running since August of 2015! And then I was more than 30 lbs less than I am now!

It was been a wild and crazy week! Work has just been insane so I've barely had time to breathe during the day. So thankfully I don't have a commute so that made it a little bit easier, but not much. And then you throw in the mix that my co-worker was out unexpectedly for 2 days so I was now doing the work of 3 people (when I was already doing the work of 2), Thursday my cat needed emergency surgery on his ear yesterday (lots of time and $$$ spent on that) and today I had to pick up one kid from school because she got hurt in gym.

But through all of this I ate pretty well and tracked (as much as I track, though some meals I actually tracked the whole thing in the WW app!). I attribute this good week to a few things
1) It is my first week post-period which is always a good week for me - I feel thin and I feel good
2) I had no junk on the house and no time to go buy anything (ie we are completely out of milk right now)
3) The desire to weigh-in each day and to do that I need to feel good about myself
4) The desire to have as good a run as I could and I know eating well helps that.

While I am not going to outline my whole meals, this is what my breakfasts and lunches looked like

Breakfasts
1) Homemade breakfast sandwich
2) Shakeology with frozen bananas and almond milk
3) Old Fashioned Oatmeal
4) Leftovers from dinner (sweet potatoes, chicken, black beans) but with a tad of vanilla yogurt, a hard boiled egg and blueberries to make it more like breakfast
5) Shakeology

Lunches
1) Leftovers from dinner - chicken, pears, peas, couscous
2) Leftovers from dinner - whole wheat spaghetti, ham, walnuts
3) Leftover whole wheat spaghetti, pre-cooked chicken, veggies, asian dressing
4) Leftovers from dinner (sweet potatoes, chicken, black beans)  but it was a very small serving so I had a Shakeology at 2:00 pm
5) Leftover Barilla+ spaghetti from dinner, jarred sauce, cheese

Now that I know what WWPurple looks like, I will be buying more stuff at the grocery store and doing some meal prep, but not as much since part of what I wanted to be able to do as part of working from home full time is actually make my meals (such as my breakfast sandwich and oatmeal).

I hope not every week was as crazy as this one! I know some people's every day has been like my every days this week and I could never sustain that!

The weekend can't come fast enough - I've still got 1-2 hours left. We don't have a ton planned except some errands in the morning (which is why I needed to get my run in today) and then celebrating my mom's birthday at the Melting Pot (that being the reason I didn't want to run on Sunday). I am going to TRY to be mindful at the restaurant - no alcohol, more fruits and veggies during our cheese course than bread, healthier meats (perhaps not pick any beef), and stick more to fruits during the chocolate course.

And right now Sunday seems like a completely free day! Though I really need to get on making lists for Christmas and start my shopping (I always host Thanksgiving and I make the same meal every year so there isn't much planning involved)

And next week:
Run on Tuesday
Beachbody on Monday and Wednesday
Run 8 miles on Friday
Menu plan better and have enough for leftovers - I am usually an anti-leftovers person, but if I am making good dinners with lots of Zero Point ingredients, then it would be great to have those at lunch as well!

Happy Weekend!

WW Team Purple

While I've only been to one WW meeting in the last 6 months, I decided to actually read my emails when the new program was announced on Monday.

They've broken it out in to 3 programs
Green - This program has more daily points but less Zero Point foods
Blue --This is the current program from the last couple of years
Purple - This program has a lot more zero point foods but less daily points

After looking it over, I decided to give Team Purple a try! (You can keep changing your plan but they would like you to give a plan 2 weeks before changing)

I really do have the desire to more cleanly so I feel that Purple should be a good option for me. Things that are now Zero Points that weren't before are sweet potatoes, whole wheat pasta and oatmeal. While I haven't been eating whole wheat pasta (we eat the Barilla + at home) this would be a good excuse to.

Looking at what I would eat on a "good" day, the things that still will have points are: Milk, almond milk, non-plain yogurt, beef/pork/ham/bacon, avacado, wraps/english muffins, cheese, peanut butter, jelly, salad dressings, Shakeology powder. And of course every.single. junk food I may be tempted with.

I have never been a good tracker (ie actually keeping track of points) but I have been playing around with it to get an idea.

So for instance, I am all excited I can have oatmeal now that I am home (trying to make oatmeal in the microwave at work is just a recipe for disaster!), so I actually had 2 servings (1 cup dry oatmeal) made with almond milk, blueberries, a dollop of vanilla non-fat greek yogurt, and a TB of pepitas = 3 points!

I am going to try to rearrange my running schedule to run on Friday so I can go to my regular meeting on Saturday to hear her talk about the new program. I will not be happy to get on the scale, but that is okay. And then I probably won't go back until mid-January since Saturdays are my running days or we are busy.

We are having tacos for dinner and I've already put my points in - Definitely a heavy point meal despite many zero point items:
2 Joseph tortillas - 3 points
100 calorie guacamole - 3 points
2 TB sour cream - 3 points
1/4 cup Mexican cheese - 4 points

And then the chicken breast, black beans, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos will all be 0 points. I haven't decided if I will make sweet potato rice instead of mexican rice (which I wouldn't eat) or just leave it out all together.

This may actually be too much food for me - I will see! But if not, the 13 points is worth every point to me.

Of course these 2 meals are it in terms of my points for the day (I did have 3 points at snack) and I haven't even had lunch yet! But it could be worth it. Except for the holiday treats I need every excuse not to eat junk food, so if my dailies cut into my weeklies, then I am okay.....for now!