Thursday, December 30, 2010
2010: A Year Passed
Honestly, 2010 has not been a great year. Not horrible by any means, but really not a stellar year in any areas of my life. I hate to complain when lots of people I know have been affected by serious illness this year.
I woke up on New Year’s Day, after a fun evening with my husband and then 3 year-old daughter, which included cheese AND chocolate fondue. New Year’s Eve in my book always has to have cheese fondue and some sort of chocolate. I stepped on the scale and it said 221.8. The highest I had ever seen it not pregnant or recently pregnant (my son was almost 10 months old at the time). Sure the weight was exaggerated by the food the night before, but not by much. The highest I had been while pregnant with my son was 231. I had seen the scale say 201 in August 2009. But, like with my daughter, I packed on 10-15 lbs quickly after weaning.
You would think that I would have gotten on the band wagon pretty quickly after that. No. According to my Excel sheet I keep of my weights, I did see 220 again on January 26th after having had Chinese food twice in one day. And then I didn’t step on the scale for another 2 months, even though Weight Watchers started a few weeks after the double-Chinese dipping. My weight was 219.4 according to the WW scale on 2/1/2010 which meant I was about 216 at home and I was still 216 when I re-committed myself after my son’s 1st birthday on 3/25/2010.
So I have managed to lose almost 30 lbs in 2010 which is a good thing in itself. But that is about the only really good thing of the year.
Just didn’t happen this year. I tried for a few weeks back in May to get on the treadmill but quickly developed plantar fasciitis. I tried again at Labor Day and did it diligently for 6 weeks, getting up at 5:30 am 4 days a week, in the dark. But then I got sick for a good month and I haven’t been back. I always seem to find something better to do. It just hasn’t been a priority, even though I fantasize about it daily.
Yes, I lost weight. But I eat the same thing every day and too much of it is processed. Dinners continue to be my area of struggle. For a while I was experimenting with different recipes, but the kids are in that “we don’t eat dinner” mode, so I have kind of given up. The result is we eat the same things over and over again. With WW's new plan, I am going to try to spice up my day foods as well as go back to some of the old favorite dinners I haven’t tried in a while, plus I have a long list of new ones I want to try.
Work has sucked the life out of me since July 1st when I found out my client was leaving. Not in 17 years of professional life have I ever just not wanted to be at work this much, and I like working. I was on the client for 8 years and was their star contact. They loved me, but they just didn’t love my company so went to a competitor. So for 3 months I was working on my old client and a new client, so I was able to learn some new things while still loving my job. But on October 1st, my client left, and since then I have been on 4 different projects, mainly at the same time. I feel like I am floundering on all projects and I don’t fit in anywhere. Thankfully I am moving onto one new project next week and hopefully I can grow this next year.
We’ve only been married for 5 ½ years, but this has definitely been the most “non-existent” year of our marriage. We’ve done our own thing, been in our own worlds, or dealing with the kids, but we have failed 100% to be connected to each other. We both agree that this needs to change in the New Year. Our kids are getting older – my son can more easily be with other people, so we are going to make a conscious effort to spend time together, even if that means just watching a movie together, without our computers in front of us
The first 6 months of the year were those times when you really can’t leave your toddler alone for a second because he can climb on the couch, but he’s going to fall off. He can climb the stairs but the chances of him falling are high. And at the same time I felt like I was so busy doing other things that I really didn’t connect with them as much as I would have liked.
Between working, having 2 kids, having an hour commute each way, and being responsible for 95% of everything in the house, I have very little time for myself. I have a lot of hobbies that I wish I had time to work on: photography, sewing, scrapbooking, cake decorating, among other things. All need practice. I have all the materials I need – it is just a matter of doing. I was doing great with my photography and then my son dropped my external drive in May and I lost 1 year’s worth of work. I think that was a big turning point down back in May because I was so discouraged and so mad at myself for allowing it to happen that I kind of stopped doing all the things I love. Writing this makes it sound like depression – maybe mildly. But it is more a relatively new mom trying to make time for work, kids, herself. I want to have time for the hobbies AND working out AND getting enough sleep. Somehow I’ll figure it out.
Like I said, not a horrible year. We have our health, we have our house, we have our jobs, we have our kids, and we have relative happiness. But I turned 40 this year and I want life to be more than just getting by and living day-to-day. But more about that tomorrow.